Dirty Little Secret

BeamItDown Software is an iPhone book developer with a unique way of presenting written material. Typically when reading an iBook, the reader swipes through pages resulting in disrupted concentration. BeamItDown Software’s iFlow technology (no, not a urine app) solves this problem. Instead of paging, the iFlow Reader scrolls the text, similar to a teleprompter. The reader has the ability to control scrolling speed, font type, font color, font size and background screen color. Pretty nifty stuff and available on each of their 55 iBook offerings. BeamItDown covers all the literary classics – from Leo Tolstoy to Sherlock Holmes … The Art Of War to Pride And Prejudice … Bible Stories to The Book Of Mormon.

BeamItDownBOOKS

MassageAds Great selections – fair prices – quality technology … so basically BeamItDown Software is your model iPhone developer citizen. Or so we thought until we uncovered BeamItDown’s latest offering … iMassage. Interesting book title … an iBook on massage and physical therapy techniques … or so we thought! Nope, the only thing iMassage has in common with the written craft is the Amazing Touch massage advertisements you see in your local newspaper’s sports section … Free Table Shower – Cute Young Staff – Hot Oil – Cozy Private Rooms – $50 Per Hour.

Launching iMassage (nice app icon by the way – LOL), you are presented a choice of six “providers”. Push the Start My Massage button and iMassage begins to play in-app music and instructs Place iPhone On Area To Be Massaged.

iMassageProvider3  iMassageProvider1  iMassageProvider2

To finish your massage, push the Stop button and a screen filled with happy faces appears accompanied with laughing sound effects. We guess this is the HAPPY ENDING as the developer suggests to “continue <your massage> until your “HAPPY ENDING” appears.

iMassageDesc

iMassageHappyEnding

Wow … ok … “HAPPY ENDING” … good stuff for all the 9-year olds (or even younger) who have access to the App Store. We can just hear the conversation now … “Mommy – the new iMassage app says it gives a “HAPPY ENDING” – what’s a “HAPPY ENDING”?”

So there you have it … the iMassage app, with its “HAPPY ENDING” … BeamItDown Sortware’s and Apple’s DIRTY LITTLE SECRET (wondering how Apple got through the Baby Shaker incident smiling? now you know – LOL).

May 1, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment 

Comments

  • Manutdfan539

    What if it's a “SAD ENDING” ?

  • Not exactly sure … I hear Apple does not refund money for app purchases
    … guess you are shit out of luck

  • chiropractor seminars

    LOL this is awesome, pretty interesting

  • LOL this is awesome, pretty interesting