We Lost Our Penis

Hello there! We have a confession to make … (argh! hold on for a second)

yes dear – yes ok – sorry, sorry about that – it won’t happen again – yes dear – yes, yes we are morons – sorry – our bad

losthisballs2 Ok, we were saying … we have a confession to make. You know the app we just covered, the one that turns your iPhone into a penis … well it’s our favorite app ever. Why? Well the reason is quite simple, we lost our penis … (argh! hold on for a second)

yes dear – what? – you need some water? – ok, be right there – no problem – one water coming right up – yes!, yes we’ll hurry it up

So we lost our penis. Not really sure how it happened. Somewhere during the 7 years of our marriage, it just vanished into thin air … boom – gone! Really bizarre stuff. We used to … (argh! hold on for a second)

yes dear – we took out the trash – and yes we fed the dog – yes we won’t forget to paint the house this weekend – understood, no watching TV until the house is completely painted – no problem dear – and yes, we know it’s your birthday is next week

naggingwife2 Anyways, we were saying … we used to vote Democrat – now we vote Republican. We used to golf on the weekend – now we paint the house. We used to pee standing up – now we sit down and close the lid. Like we said, it just happened – we lost our penis.

So now we find comfort in our iPhone penis app … it makes us happy. It reminds us of the good old days, when … (argh! hold on for a second)

yes dear – we remembered to download the Period Tracker Companion For Men application – and we are so glad to have it on our iPhone as it’s a constant reminder or you – yes we love the fact that we can sync our iPhone to your Period Tracker app and always be aware of your upcoming period – we love being so in tune with you – why yes dear, we will check for your period every hour of every day – we agree, it’s a grand idea – how did we ever survive without the Period Tracker For Men – oh we can’t wait to use it – we can’t wait for your next period – yes dear, you are VERY important to us – yes dear, you are our #1 priority – yes we will be extra nice during your period – yes dear, we know it’s very hard to be a women and yes, we know it’s all our fault … (bitch)

What? no dear, we didn’t say anything … we just love you so much dear and we love our Period Tracker For Men … besides you, it’s the best thing that ever happened to us … ok, hold on, be right there for your nightly back rub. 

PeriodTrackerMenDescFINAL

Uhh, where were we … oh yeah, we were saying that our penis app makes us happy and reminds us of the good old days. We could fart out loud rather than pinching it off. We didn’t have to watch Beaches, Steel Magnolias or Mamma Mia! We did shots of Cuervo – now we sip flirtinis.

So yeah, not really sure what happened to our penis … could’ve sworn we had it 7 years ago when we married Miss right – guess we didn’t know her first name was Always.

May 13, 2009 | Filed Under Health 

Comments

  • Jon

    Please alert me when a “Period Tracker Companion for Employees of Female Bosses” app is available. Thank you.

  • Jon

    Please alert me when a “Period Tracker Companion for Employees of Female Bosses” app is available. Thank you.

  • Jon

    Please alert me when a “Period Tracker Companion for Employees of Female Bosses” app is available. Thank you.

  • Amy_Tucker

    I saw you tweet about this and was going to write my own thing on it. However, you did such a thorough job that I see that it's pointless for me to write anything. 🙂

  • Amy_Tucker

    I saw you tweet about this and was going to write my own thing on it. However, you did such a thorough job that I see that it's pointless for me to write anything. 🙂

  • Amy_Tucker

    I saw you tweet about this and was going to write my own thing on it. However, you did such a thorough job that I see that it's pointless for me to write anything. 🙂

  • Will do!

    We are also on the lookout for Period Tracker Companion for Guys who
    have Girl Roommates … Period Tracker Companion for Fathers who have All
    Daughters … Period Tracker Companion for Male Softball Coaches. I'm sure
    we are missing a few, but that'll keep us busy for now.

  • Will do!

    We are also on the lookout for Period Tracker Companion for Guys who
    have Girl Roommates … Period Tracker Companion for Fathers who have All
    Daughters … Period Tracker Companion for Male Softball Coaches. I'm sure
    we are missing a few, but that'll keep us busy for now.

  • Will do!

    We are also on the lookout for Period Tracker Companion for Guys who
    have Girl Roommates … Period Tracker Companion for Fathers who have All
    Daughters … Period Tracker Companion for Male Softball Coaches. I'm sure
    we are missing a few, but that'll keep us busy for now.

  • Right on Amy – thanks! Really appreciate the kind words!

    KRAPPS viewers … meet Amy … she's a writer at the kick ass site EveryJoe.com. She's also a helluv a class act, posting the Man Period article at EveryJoe and encourgaging their viewers to check out our little whacked-out corner or the web. Huge thanks and admiration to Amy and all the folks at EveryJoe … all-around class acts! Check them out –> http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/period-tracker…

  • Right on Amy – thanks! Really appreciate the kind words!

    KRAPPS viewers … meet Amy … she's a writer at the kick ass site EveryJoe.com. She's also a helluv a class act, posting the Man Period article at EveryJoe and encourgaging their viewers to check out our little whacked-out corner or the web. Huge thanks and admiration to Amy and all the folks at EveryJoe … all-around class acts! Check them out –> http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/period-tracker…

  • Right on Amy – thanks! Really appreciate the kind words!

    KRAPPS viewers … meet Amy … she's a writer at the kick ass site EveryJoe.com. She's also a helluv a class act, posting the Man Period article at EveryJoe and encourgaging their viewers to check out our little whacked-out corner or the web. Huge thanks and admiration to Amy and all the folks at EveryJoe … all-around class acts! Check them out –> http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/period-tracker…

  • Jon

    Please alert me when a “Period Tracker Companion for Employees of Female Bosses” app is available. Thank you.

  • I saw you tweet about this and was going to write my own thing on it. However, you did such a thorough job that I see that it's pointless for me to write anything. 🙂

  • Will do!

    We are also on the lookout for Period Tracker Companion for Guys who
    have Girl Roommates … Period Tracker Companion for Fathers who have All
    Daughters … Period Tracker Companion for Male Softball Coaches. I'm sure
    we are missing a few, but that'll keep us busy for now.

  • Right on Amy – thanks! Really appreciate the kind words!

    KRAPPS viewers … meet Amy … she's a writer at the kick ass site EveryJoe.com. She's also a helluv a class act, posting the Man Period article at EveryJoe and encourgaging their viewers to check out our little whacked-out corner or the web. Huge thanks and admiration to Amy and all the folks at EveryJoe … all-around class acts! Check them out –> http://www.everyjoe.com/articles/period-tracker…