We So Horny – Are You?

MeSoHornyJPG We’ve been meaning to write an iPhone pickup line article for some time now … because DAMN there are a lot of them! We’re talking like hundreds and hundreds – rapidly approaching Arctic Gerbil numbers. Seriously … WTF is this about? … we never received the memo that iPhone owners are a bunch of horny dorks who need all the hooking up help they can get. Hmmm … iPhone – Horny Dorks – Hooking Up … yeah, ok … when you break it down logically, guess horny dorks do need some help. Whatever, never got the memo.

So these hooking up apps … they come in all shapes and sizes: the Casanova Pickup Lines app … iPimpin Pickup Lines … Ultimate Pickup Lines … Awesome Pickup Lines … 1001 Best Pickup Lines … 400 Pickup Lines … Hillbilly Pickup Lines … and on and on. You get the idea … freaking LAME. Yeah dude, go ahead and score with these masterpieces …

“I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!”
“If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous!”
“Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”
“If I followed you home, would you keep me?”

LOL … stop the madness … better yet, buy an app that REALLY works … buy Hornymeter!

Hornymeter is awesome and so simple to use: see a hottie … have hottie place finger on the Hornymeter … the app scans the hottie’s finger, performing complex calculations like Heart Rate, Heat Matrix and Pheromone Aura analyses …

HornyMeterAnalyze

… Hornymeter then displays a Horniness Score (not our words, it’s in the app description) with a wonderful and descriptive written summary for the hottie to read …

HM1 HM2

HM3 HM4

HM5 HM6

Four hard nipples … flying with your libido … fire hazard panties. See, we told you … this is classic stuff which guaranteed to get you rolling in the hay on any given night. However …  we think our Hornymeter has a bug and anxiously await the app’s next update. When our targeted hottie read her rating as … “If Hornyness Were A Crime, You’d Be On Death Row”… well, let’s just say our last words to her were … Ow My Balls!

June 11, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment 

Comments

  • female libido booster

    LOL hornymeter nevewr thought of it before

  • female libido booster

    LOL!!!!!! horny meter never thought of it before this so cool. The caption is so hilarious, indeed a great post.

  • LOL!!!!!! horny meter never thought of it before this so cool. The caption is so hilarious, indeed a great post.

  • LOL … yeah, there's a lot of KRAPPS we would never in a million years think of … hmmm, news slogan –> “Read KRAPPS, Get Smart” 😉

  • LOL … yeah, there's a lot of KRAPPS we would never in a million years think of … hmmm, news slogan –> “Read KRAPPS, Get Smart” 😉

  • LOL … yeah, there's a lot of KRAPPS we would never in a million years think of … hmmm, news slogan –> “Read KRAPPS, Get Smart” 😉

  • LOL!!!!!! horny meter never thought of it before this so cool. The caption is so hilarious, indeed a great post.

  • LOL … yeah, there's a lot of KRAPPS we would never in a million years think of … hmmm, news slogan –> “Read KRAPPS, Get Smart” 😉