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Crazy Letters App Fittingly Developed By A Crazy Dev

We have this friend named Mike (yes, that’s his real name) … Mike has issues. He’s the guy who’ll notice if a picture hanging in his house is slightly crooked and just has to straighten it immediately. He’s the guy who organizes his CD collection by genre, then record label, then producer, then alphabetical, then release date, then SKU. He’s the guy who barely passed Writing Composition because he could never quite start off writing his term paper correctly. Mike characterizes his behavior as being a perfectionist … we think he’s simply a freak.

However, his “Freak” is our “Gain”. You see Mike is also a talented app developer … and of course, being the freak … errr … perfectionist he is, no way is Mike going to release some piece of krapp. Nope … when Mike releases an app, he makes sure his development behavior is 110% over-the-top.

Take for example his latest app … Nabbed [iTunes] … right from the get go, he didn’t think the name was perfect enough, so he changed it to Crazy Letters. The Crazy Letters app enables you to apply letters, numbers and punctuation to any image in your iPhone’s camera roll or from taking a picture within the app … thus creating a custom caption.

There are over 500 characters to choose from. The characters are ransom note-style … meaning cut outs from magazines, each with a unique color, style and font. Ok … so most normal people would simply purchase a ransom note font package and program it into the app. But not our friend Mike. Poor bastard sat there for months … hand cutting letters, numbers and punctuation from countless stacks of magazines … putting them in piles … the A’s, the B’s, the C’s, etc … then scanned and Photoshopped each one into digital files. Seriously, who does this kind of stuff … total freak.

But like we said, his “Freak” is our “Gain” … because the final product of Crazy Letters is absolutely superb. The user interface is simple and intuitive, the processing is fast and smooth … and of course the hand cut graphics are outstanding. You can position each word anywhere with a touch of a finger, change the style of letters by simply shaking your phone, save to camera roll, email to friends or upload directly to Flickr. The possibilities with Crazy Letters are endless … and for only 99 cents, provides hours or repeat entertainment.

Sure enough, Mike is already freaking out about Crazy Letters … thinks it needs improvements … so he’s submitted an update for approval which will give pinch to scale ability. Yeah, that and he’s still cutting out letters from magazines by hand … LOL – poor dude has no life. Help this psycho out and purchase Crazy Letters … maybe we can get him enough bank where he will finally put down the scissors before he hurts himself.

Technorati Tags: Crazy Letters,Nabbed,More Blu Sky,iPhone,App Store,Apple,KRAPPS

July 11, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Entertainment, Photography | 22 Comments

Hey Apple, You Just Got Punk’d

Lately as we peruse the App Store, it’s like watching an episode of Ashton Kutcher’s Punk’d … the MTV television show in which hidden cameras film elaborate pranks on unsuspecting celebrities. From the show’s web site, Punk’d is defined as … To be made a fool of as the target of an extravagantly arranged prank, as in "You just got punk’d!" In our case, the developers are playing the role of Ashton Kutcher, while Apple is the unsuspecting celebrity. It seems some apps are specifically made by developers to punk’d Apple … to see just how stupid of a freaking iPhone app Apple will approve.

Our version of Punk’d first started when we reviewed the Nothing app … an app which – as you can guess – does nothing. Who in their right mind would approve such an app …
hey Apple, you just got punk’d.

Then we profiled the Is It An App? app … hell, this app should have been rejected based on the title alone … is Is It An App? app an app (we think that makes sense) … uh, no … it flat out sucks – hey Apple, you just got punk’d.

Now we come across three more wonderful pieces of krapp. Such garbage that they were probably developed due to a double dog dare … we double dog dare you to submit the stupidest app you can think of to Apple.

Ah … the Friday? app. Something Apple should be very proud of featuring in their revolutionary App Store. Launch the Friday? app and depending on the day of the week, you either get a clever “Yes” or “No” answer. Good stuff … because most iPhone owners are freaking idiots who don’t even know what day of the week it is. Uh no … the Friday? app is good stuff because – hey Apple, you just got punk’d.

This next app is actually quite handy as everyone would agree, it majorly blows when you lose your iPhone. Well no fears … download the Where Is My iPhone? app and it’s all good. Launch this app and it displays a message as to the location of your phone … “You’re Looking At It”. Damn, thank you Mr. Obvious – hey Apple, you just got punk’d.

Now the last app is just not fair … it’s like taking candy from a kid … just a cruel, cruel (we used the word “cruel” twice for emphasis – sometimes we roll like that) joke on Apple. So far this is the biggest punk’d in the App Store … meet the Ashton Kutcher of apps –> the Most Useless Application Ever! app … an app which insults the user for downloading and using the app. Seriously, WTF is this?!?! Even the developers claim they set a new low in the App Store – hey Apple, you just got punk’d

Damn Apple … what up? We know there’s a minimum functionality requirement somewhere in that iPhone SDK Agreement of yours … wouldn’t hurt to use it. Then again, maybe not. Apple, you just keep doing what you’re doing … we’re big fans of Punk’d.

Technorati Tags: Firday,Where Is My iPhone,Most Useless Application Ever,iPhone,App Store,Apple,KRAPPS,Funny,Humor,Stupid iPhone Apps

July 10, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Quick KRAPPS | 5 Comments

Developer Steals iPhone App Code, Submits As Own

Meet Brandon Trebitowski. He’s a nice guy. You know, the kind of guy who lets you cut ahead of him in a grocery store checkout line if you have fewer items. The kind of guy who holds the door open for you. The kind of guy who sees a wandering dog and attempts to locate its owner. Yeah, that’s Brandon … he’s a nice guy.

Brandon is also a geek. He develops iPhone web apps and has released the Cost Per Square Foot Calculator and the Daily Calorie apps. While learning to code these apps, Brandon noticed there was a severe lack of iPhone programming tutorials on the web. So being the nice guy he is, Brandon started the iCodeBlog to assist other developers and share his programming knowledge.

One of Brandon’s most popular articles is the “iPhone Game Programming Tutorial” in which he gives step-by-step instructions on how to build an iPhone game called iTennis (a Pong-style game). The iTennis tutorial includes everything the aspiring developer will need to build the game … graphics, sounds, game mechanics and of course, the code.

So one day when Brandon was taking a break from doing nice things, he came across a Pong-style iPhone game called iTennis. Hmmm … Pong-style iPhone game … iTennis … WTF – this is nice guy Brandon’s app … being sold by BlaBlaIncTech for 99 cents a download. BlaBlaIncTech lifts the nice guy code, graphics, sounds, etc … get’s Apple’s approval and positions themselves to profit of a freaking tutorial. Wow … talk about a total DOUCHE BAG.

Oh and save the bullshit legalize debate of public domain vs. copyright infringement. We’re talking about right vs. wrong … we’re talking about morals, ethics and principles (oh that’s right, we forgot … big business has no ethics … LOL). If you think lifting a tutorial code and selling it for profit is all good … well then you are a total DOUCHE BAG as well (see, we knew the youDB app would come in handy).

Be sure to read Brandon’s firsthand account of the imposter iTennis app over at his web site. We guess our only question to Apple is … do nice guys finish last?

Technorati Tags: iTennis,BlaBlaIncTech,iCodeBlog,iPhone,Apple,App Store,KRAPPS

July 9, 2009 | Filed Under Games, News | 39 Comments

The “Place iPhone On Fat Belly And Lose Weight” App

We’re going to shout it from the highest mountain tops …

The iPhone Has Changed Our Life!

Before the iPhone, we were fat, bald and a disaster with the chicks. Well thanks to the Hair Clinic app, we now have a full head of healthy hair. Chicks? Yeah, chicks dig us now because we use the Hot Radar app … it helps us score. Sadly though … we’re still large and in charge – XXXL baby! Ok, so maybe the iPhone didn’t totally change our life … got Hair, got Chicks, got Big Belly. Whatever, two out of three ain’t bad.

So this chunky monkey thing … it’s not like we’re ignoring the issue. We’ve been busting our ass trying every new weight loss fad …

Acai Berry Diet – sucks … makes our poop bright orange and thinking we’re now sterile.
Weight Loss Lip Gloss – the Too Faced Fuze Slenderize lip gloss promised to curb our appetite and boost our energy … it’s bullshit, our lips now look like our butt cheeks.
Overnight Skinny Cream – high hopes for this one … lose weight while you snooze with the Fatgirlsleep body balm by Bliss … garbage, we broke out in hives.
Calorie Burning Drink – Enviga is a sparkling green tea mixed with caffeine and antioxidants, this Coca-Cola product promised to boost our metabolism and burn extra calories … guess what, Coke sucks – they lied – so now we wash down our triple cheeseburger with Diet Pepsi.

So yeah, we’ve been doing stuff … ok, we might not be exactly in the gym, pushing iron, doing pilates or getting a sore scrotum from spin class … but piss off, don’t be a hater!

Anyways … we now have high hopes to finally win this battle of the bulge and it’s because of our revolutionary iPhone. We’re talking about the new weight loss app from DailyBurn called FatBurner2K …

Isn’t FatBurner2K swell? Stick the iPhone on your buffet blimp (for best results, precisely 6 inches above the belly button) and have it literally shake the crap out of your fat molecules. Heck with words like … Disharmonic and Physical Oscillation … we gladly plopped down our 99 cents in hopes of becoming a lean, mean, loving machine.

The only thing we haven’t quite figured out is how to keep the damn iPhone on our spare tire when using FatBurner2K while finding a parking spot, getting a haircut or smoking a filtered cigarette … sucker keeps falling off. Maybe there’s like this strap-on attachment thing we don’t know about … hands free phone calls and weight loss … revolutionary!

Technorati Tags: FatBurner2K,DailyBurn,iPhone,Apple,App Store,KRAPPS,Humor,Funny

July 8, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 31 Comments

No Matter How You Say It – You Are A Douche Bag

Sometimes the most simple and straight forward apps provide the highest entertainment value. No trendy 15-year-old naked girl pictures – no sexy hot bikini girls from every creed, color and race – no poop race car driving – no touching crotch – no models that have VD … and certainly no farting, puking, pissing or zit picking – those were so 5 months ago!

Nope, sometimes the most successful KRAPPS are just he good old-fashioned, no beating around the bush, get straight to the point kind of app. The kind of app that when you press a button, your iPhone blares:

“You Are A Douche Bag!”

Seriously, how perfect is that? … You Are A Douche Bag! … think about these words of wisdom, perfect for just about any life situation …

> Some dumbass talking during Transformers? …
   You Are A Douche Bag
> Some dipshit on an airplane reclines his seat so far back he’s now laying in your lap? …
   You Are A Douche Bag
> Some wanker keeps asking the teacher inane questions and prolonging class? …
   You Are A Douche Bag
> Some dickhead using speaker phone in public areas at work? …
   You Are A Douche Bag
> Some ass wipe who completes every sentence with, “Ya know what I’m sayin”? …
   You Are A Douche Bag

Simple, straight forward and to the point – You Are A Douche Bag … and that’s why developer Arty Baby is brilliant. Dude was basically sick of calling out all the douche bags in his life, so he created the youDB app [iTunes] to do the work for him. Launch app – push button … You Are A Douche Bag.

But since douche bags come in all shapes, sizes and nationalities … that clever Arty included the douche bag call out in TWELVE different languages. French douche bags, German douche bags, Italian douche bags, Spanish douche bags, Finnish douche bags, Portuguese douche bags and more … it’s like the United Nations Of Douche Bags!

Although youDB is classified as an Entertainment app, we strongly encourage Arty to re-categorize the app as a Utility … having your iPhone call someone a douche bag in not 1 but 12 languages – that’s a helluv useful utility … let’s see your piece of shit Blackberry Storm do that, biatch!

Only problem with the youDB app is the fact that this Arty character opened up a real can of worms. We know a ton of Russian a-holes and would love to smack them with a
Ruski-style douche bag. And heck, no Asian or Middle-Eastern douche bag call outs? – WTF is that? – these folks are just begging to be douche bagged. Anyways, hopefully Arty will feel enough douche bag pressure to bang out a few updates so people worldwide can properly unite and fight the good douche bag fight … do it Arty!

Technorati Tags: youDB,iPhone Douche Bag,iPhone,Apple,App Store,KRAPPS,Humor

July 7, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 10 Comments

iPhone Nudity Found Again – This Is Getting Confusing

Breaking News! … from the makers of the Farts and Poop iMobilepedia apps …

Binary Moustache presents their latest mobile encyclopedia iPhone application …

VAGINA (iMobilepedia)
also know as – V****a (iMobilepedia)

Yes, with the VAGINA app … (errr, sorry) … with the V****a app, you’ll be able to teach your kids or parents about VAGINA … heck, while you’re at it, give yourself a refresher course. VAGINA is simply the most amazing resource in the App Store! You’ll never leave home without VAGINA – carry VAGINA wherever you go. Also, being the nice person you are … share VAGINA with your friends (or if you’re a dickhead, keep VAGINA to yourself). And this VAGINA is a bargain … when was the last time you paid only 99 cents for VAGINA?

Since everyone should be able to enjoy VAGINA … VAGINA is conveniently rated suitable for 12-year-olds … actually, to be honest – this rating is to ensure that children will educate their parents about VAGINA … what, you haven’t heard about the new “Kids – Teach Your Parents About VAGINA” movement? And of course VAGINA is perfect for parents and teachers … you’ll be able to avoid those awkward VAGINA conversations with your children or students – how cool and convenient is that?

Now never mind the fact that the word VAGINA has been censored by Apple (yes, just like Intercourse, VAGINA is a dirty word) … gotta give it up to Apple for having the sense to apply the profanity filter to VAGINA, yet allow images of a full blown spread eagle VAGINA … this is business savvy at its finest … or is it simply ironic? … nah, it’s educational.

We spoke with Pocket God developer, Dave Castelnuovo, regarding his thoughts about VAGINA. Initially Dave was pissed at us for prying into his personal life, but when he finally understood our VAGINA inquiry, he briefly responded … “I love VAGINA!” … Dave then rushed off mumbling something about getting to work on a medical reference application of various implants for aspiring plastic surgeons. Like we said, he was mumbling, so we couldn’t quite hear him, but we believe Dave’s new app will be called … B****T.

All kidding aside … similar to our Poker vs Girls article where it was “accidentally” discovered that Apple will approve images of people taking or their clothes, but not taking off their underwear … perhaps Apple’s guidelines for approving nudity is strictly for educational purposes. Whatever the case may be, it would behoove Apple to make the policy clear and straight forward … seems like a reasonable request.

Technorati Tags: Vagina iMobilepedia,iMobilepedia,Apple,App Store,KRAPPS,Funny,Humor

July 6, 2009 | Filed Under Reference | 9 Comments

Recap: Week Of June 29

In case you missed any of the festivities (and boy were there some fireworks this week – do not miss the BeautyMeter nudity articles July 1 & 2) , quick links to this week’s articles.