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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
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- Recap Week Of January 3
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This iPhone App Makes Your Pants Fall Down
Our first KRAPPS article featured an app which converts the iPhone into an amazing piece of jewelry. Containing various jewels, flowers, animals, and insects, the Amulet app allows the user to customize and transform their iPhone into the most dope necklace … perfect for those extraordinary occasions where bling is in. The app even contains detailed instructions for making an iPhone neck holder from an ordinary plastic six-pack beverage carrier. As you can see, even back then, the App Store was already revolutionary.
Well one good iAccessory deserves another. Thus the folks at Fiesta Cabin Software decided to one-up the Amulet necklace and launch … Buckle … including instructions!
Yo – see that?!? … “Bask In The Glory That Is Your Wearable iPhone” … pardon our
man-moment, but honestly, as a proud iPhone owner … da shit is bringing tears to our eyes – it’s just so beautiful. <weep>
Plus get a load of these krapptastic features … Choose from 26 stock buckle selections or generate your own – Create a buckle play list (slideshow) – Buckle statistics (total views, total time viewed) – and more … WOW! Pardon – another teary man-moment! <weep> Fiesta Cabin are freaking morons for only charging 99 cents for Buckle. This thing is way better than Real Racing which goes for $9.99 … so thinking Buckle is easily a $14.99 app – totally worth it!
Anywho, we’re out. All the cool kids are doing it, so gotta go finish customizing our killer new iPhone belt buckle to impress the hotties. That and figure out a solution to a bug we discovered in Buckle … every time we answer the iPhone, our pants fall down! <weep>
Hard Core Porn On Display In Check myHottie – Along With Child Photographs [Update]
Last Friday we featured a new “Rate My Hotness” app called Check myHottie. Users upload images to the app, which are then rated and comments are left by others. At the time of our writing (within 12 hours of release), Check myHottie had a scattering of topless images. Although the developers, Macrominds, implemented a “Flag” button to report unappropriate (huh?) images … this attempt has clearly failed as the Check myHottie app is now littered with numerous hardcore pornography images.
The above screenshots are not examples of the hardcore pornography we found within the Check myHottie app. But in efforts to keep KRAPPS relatively “Safe For Work”, we simply could not “black-bar” censor most of the images due to their extremely graphic nature. Let’s just say that the omitted photos make Playboy look like the Sunday comics.
What’s even more disturbing than the aforementioned hardcore porno images, are the pictures of young children also found within the Check myHottie app. By young, we don’t mean sixteen years old … rather in the five to twelve year old range. To be clear, there are NO nude underage pictures … however, the fact that these children are on display with hardcore pornography, coupled with the fact their images are receiving sexually orientated comments, is absolutely sick and disgusting (even the users of Check myHottie are offended by the images).
While Apple publicly claims it … “will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography” … it’s obvious that user-generated “Rate My Hotness” apps are unable to properly restrict pornography. When children are on display next to hardcore pornography and their images receive sexually perverted comments … well – that’s a serious problem. And in the case of the Check myHottie app, an on-going problem for the past four days which seemingly is not being noticed in Krappertino … errr … Cupertino.
Pretty Poo – A Curiously Bizarre App
True Story (don’t believe us? – click here):
One crisp winter evening in the snow-covered Swiss Alps, three friends were enjoying a pot of homemade cheese fondue. Apparently this fondue was “magical”, because it inspired Jennifer, Indri and Marco to start a company … Digital Mint Apps … dedicated to creating designer iPhone apps. Apparently the three were sick of fart apps (agreed!) and wanted to offer the world apps which are both fun to use and a pleasure to look at. Their mission, create an app based on the theme … Stupid With Style.
Hmmm … fart apps suck – fun to use – pleasure to look at … sounds like Digital Mint Apps came up with a winning recipe for App Store success. And now, after seven months of working their asses off … Digital Mint Apps proudly presents their alternative to those lame fart apps … Pretty Poo.
LOL … WTH is this? Keep the poo happy by shaking away the flies?!? Basically a moody pile of poop … smiling and crying – smiling and crying. But hey, your life would suck too if you had flies constantly buzzing up in your grill. And good to see Digital Mint Apps steering way clear of Fart Boulevard … farts and poop totally different – right?
But look … words cannot do justice for the Pretty Poo app. PLEASE watch the brilliant demo video to gain full appreciation and insight into Digital Mint Apps’ efforts (although debatable, we assure you the developers were not on drugs while shooting this clip) …
Ahh … this is great! Crazy Swiss making crazy apps. But it’s not just apps … Pretty Poo is positioned to take over the world with a clever social media and merchandising scheme. You got your Pretty Poo Facebook page … some Pretty Poo on Twitter … a bit of Pretty Poo television on YouTube … and Pretty Poo shirts, hats, umbrellas, boxer shorts, messenger bags, etc. Watch out Sponge Bob … Pretty Poo is going to poop all over your animated success and become the new King of Stupid, with style of course!
Recap: Week Of August 17
In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.
August 17: Attention Stupid People! Buy This App!
August 18: Stare At Sweaty Bouncy Boobs With Gym Babes
August 19: 2,000 Apps Later, BrightHouse Labs Still Sucks
August 20: iBra Fails Miserably In Training Bra Removing Ninjas
August 21: Worry About Sperm Count? We Do!
August 21: Nude Images Now Appearing In Check myHottie – This Is Getting Old
August 22: A Serious KRAPPS [Video] … what KRAPPS be like in a serious tone
August 23: Chess Elite – Lives Up To The Name
Bonus Round
Special shouts to our boy Doug over at DizzyDoug.tv. Doug runs a very cool site which features articles and videos about everything iPhone related and grilling (sure, why not). We love to BBQ, so totally dig all of Doug’s recipes and tips (grilled banana raspberry desert is absolutely killer). Check him at DizzyDoug.tv to learn iPhone and good eats!
Chess Elite – Lives Up To The Name
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
Even though I am primarily a Go player, I still like to play chess from time to time. Chess Elite [iTunes] from 99 Games has features to satisfy all types of players, from novice to experienced and 9 different board looks to tailor the visuals to taste. The game offers 4 different ways to find an opponent: play against the device, pass & play, play against your contacts and play against an online community.
First up is the play against device mode, which sports a strong chess engine with the ability to customize the strength to suit your current level of play. At the least challenging setting, the iPhone opponent will take just 4 seconds to make a move while at the strongest setting it will take approximately 2 minutes. The "give me a hint" functionality, which is great for novice players looking to improve their skills, also appears to be affected by the strength setting, which makes perfect sense. Also available is an unlimited number of undo/redo actions, so you can back up in the game and try a different tactic, a great feature for the chess student.
Next up is the pass & play mode which is great when you have an opponent in the room, but only one iPhone. Two styles of board flip accommodate either truly passing the device back and forth -or- setting it up like a little tiny chess table in between you. As would be expected, there is no "give me a hint" when you are playing against another person, however the undo/redo is still available (mainly, I guess, to accommodate when a piece is unintentionally dropped in the wrong place).
Playing against your contacts is really just a flavor of playing against the online community, since it merely generates an email to your contact and invites them to join the 99 Games community (and also gives them a handy link to buy the app if they don’t already have it). To initiate an online community game, you login with your credentials (or register directly in the app) and issue a challenge. Once your challenge is accepted, you are notified via push and the game begins. As of this morning, there were about 100 registered players. I sent out a few challenges, but haven’t gotten any response. I would presume that the undo functionality is disabled in the online games, since it would get annoying to have to reconsider moves that you already made. It would be handy to see the win/loss record and the date of last move for the online opponents.
Other features that are user controlled are the display of legal moves when you select a piece, the highlighted indication of the last move made, rank and file titles (which I learned are called measures) and the sound effects. As with other 99 Games offerings, I found the app to be rock solid and well designed.
A Serious KRAPPS [Video]
(apologies in advance to Jerad over at The App Podcast … we couldn’t resist … thanks for having a sense of humor.)
Ever wonder what KRAPPS would be like as a serious review site? Like if TUAW, Just Another iPhone Blog or Touch My Apps decided to review crappy apps, but with their normal serious tone/style:
“Although the Plus One app has limited functionality, its UI is superb with large, simple and user-friendly buttons. Adding the number one over and over just became simple.”
“Gym Babes is an engaging app best suitable for mature audiences. The filming technique is outstanding, with its original and unique front-view treadmill angle.”
So we came across a video review over at The App Podcast of the Wishing Well app. We pissed our pants it was so funny … a serious funny, if you will. Wishing Well is an app that does one thing … you throw a coin into a wishing well. And that’s it … throw a coin into a wishing well. How the hell The App Podcast could make a two minute video review about this app is beyond us … it does one FREAKING thing – throw a coin into a wishing well. Anyways, the below is what KRAPPS would be like if we took the serious approach. LOL.
Nude Images Now Appearing In Check myHottie – This Is Getting Old
Now we know this is getting old … nude images found within Apple approved iPhone apps … but lately nudes (or porn if you will – the matter is subjective) have been appearing at an alarming rate (assuming Apple’s no nudity policy is still in effect – which is a confusing one as-is). Below is a summary of apps which contained nude images:
June 25 – Hottest Girls
July 01 – BeautyMeter
July 30 – theXchange
Less than two months since the first iPhone app naked image was discovered, the Check myHottie app now joins the infamous group of aforementioned “nudie” apps.
Check myHottie was released today around 12:30 am PST. Similar to BeautyMeter, this is a “Rate Me” app, where images are uploaded by the user and then rated others. Within 12 hours of release, Check myHottie began displaying topless photos.
As with any app containing user generated content, it is very difficult to monitor and enforce any restrictions. While Check myHottie’s developer, Macrominds, made a conscious effort to restrict and defend against inappropriate content (by implementing a “Flag” notification button) … it seems such attempts futile. The fact remains … apps which contain user generated content (especially those “Rate My Picture” apps) have a high propensity of containing nude images.
In the case of “Rate Me” apps, Apple might consider requiring developers to approve images before they go live, rather than relying on users to flag content after the fact. Obviously cumbersome, but perhaps a method to avoid future App Store nip slips.
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