iSeducer – An Interactive Diagnostic Tool For Scoring Chicks

I-Use-iSeducer-FINAL We are continually amazed at the number of pickup line apps available for the iPhone. Gems like iWingman, Get Any Girl, Ninja Pickup Lines, iPimpin and hundreds more. For the most part, these pickup chicks apps are silly, harmless and … well put it this way … if you’re using them in attempts to actually hook up with the ladies, YOU’RE AN IDIOT!

So along comes a pickup app like no other … iSeducer. Think of it as a hookup app on steroids … flexing its magical Casanova powers. iSeducer has you covered every step of the way … from the moment you meet a girl, to getting her interested in you and finally, iSeducer’s ultimate goal – having sex.

iSeducer-Title

LOL – reading iSeducer’s description, it’s like an infomercial preying on poor geeks:

Dear Friend … Can you, beyond any doubt, say that when you see a gorgeous woman, you know the exact steps you need to take in order to meet, attract and, eventually, seduce her? For example, you sit down to have a drink at a coffee shop and suddenly a beautiful woman sits right next to you. You keep thinking: “Oh my God, I want to talk to her, but what do I say so that the whole coffee shop doesn’t start laughing at me?” While you are thinking this, she stands up and walks out. You blew it again. For hours after, you keep kicking yourself thinking that you should have said something, but it’s too late. What if I told you that you never have to be that guy again? What if I told you what to do, step-by-step, in order to proceed from meeting a woman, to attracting her, to becoming physically intimate with her. Welcome to the iSeducer app!

Really bro, you’ll tell us all this? Damn, you’re da shid! You really are a friend. We’ll get laid with iSeducer for sure!

iSeducer continues their pitch by giving a coffee shop scenario and instructing you to whip out the iSeducer app when hot girl sits next to you. Navigate to the Lucky Lines section of the app and belt out this classic to hot girl reading a magazine … “Wait, I’m not done reading that page!”

iSeducer Lucky Lines

Hells yeah – BRILLIANT! “I’m not done reading that” …. but wait, there’s more. After you deliver the Lucky Line, she smiles and the two of you start talking. But then you get stuck, not exactly sure how to proceed. iSeducer suggests you excuse yourself to the bathroom,  navigate to the Seduction Speedometer, which will inform you to initiate physical contact.

iSeducer Speedometer

Ok, got it. Meet girl … talk to her for 20 minutes … engage in light touching. Hells yeah – BRILLIANT! But wait, there’s more. So you’re sitting in the coffee shop, groping this girl you just met and it’s time for her to leave. You exchange numbers and agree to go out on a date. So the next day you show up for your date but the bitch stands you up. Well no worries … iSeducer instructs you to navigate to the Mind Games section of the app and read the Flake section where you will be informed never to set up a date with a specific time.

iSeducer Mind Games

Ok, got it. When going on a date, make sure you don’t actually tell the person what time the date will begin. Yeah, makes perfect sense … on MARS!

Bully Beatdown So to recap … see girl, use iPhone to deliver a pickup line … talk to girl, then use iPhone’s suggestion and start fondling her … set up a date, use iPhone’s advice not to set an exact start time. Hmmm … excuse me iSeducer … do we have F-Me written across our foreheads? <classic Tom Cruise movie> It’s not cool to prey of unsuspecting geeks.  Sounds like it’s time for a Bully Beatdown.

Comments

  • MR.CRAZY

    u dont need a stupid app to get a chick

  • that's what we've been saying for over a year … no one freaking listens!

  • MR.CRAZY

    u dont need a stupid app to get a chick

  • that's what we've been saying for over a year … no one freaking listens!