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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
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Look At Me! I’m A Unicorn! – You Can Be One Too With Younicorn
We think it’s safe to assume that everyone loves unicorns. Why? Uh … because unicorns are awesome! They’re magical, they have shimmering hair, they come in pretty colors like pink and purple and also fart rainbows and glitter. Plus Charlie is a unicorn, he visits Candy Mountain and he totally rocks. Just think how much cooler you would look if you were riding a unicorn … pretty sweet, eh? Screw that … just think how much cooler you would be if you were a unicorn!
Well think no more – just do it with the indispensable new iPhone app …Younicorn … and we agree, it will “make everyday magical” by turning any photo into a unicorn.
For some reason, Oprah is immensely popular … however we just don’t get it. Now if she had a long, pointy horn growing out of her head, we’d hit that … three times!
Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin, sorta turned him into a unicorn. Yeah Tiger, you wish you had an awesome horn sticking out of your skull instead of a 3-iron.
Many folks think Steve Jobs is God. Meh – he ain’t shit compared to Steve the Unicorn.
Oh great, those obnoxious over-the-top parents will just love this … Younicorn your ultrasound. Shhh, don’t tell them, they suck enough without sticking their fetus with a bright and shiny object.
And speaking of unicorns, be sure to check out the internet phenomena … Charlie The Unicorn (waiting for that app) … a video series about the adventures of Charlie and his two obnoxious oddball unicorn friends. Some may find it disturbing – but we sleep in Charlie The Unicorn pajamas (which itself is disturbing, but that’s not the point).
Screw Prozac! This Cleavage Mania App Guarantees Happiness
Today we look at a new app called …. Tanimania. We’ll let Tanimania do most of the talking since the developer, Kayac Inc., prepared a superb and informative description.
Awfully nice of Kayac to thank us for waiting …. gee these guys are swell. And damn, guess we missed the memo since honestly, we didn’t even know we were waiting for a photo retouch application. Hmmm, is it just us or is there some kind of subliminal thing going on with Tanimania’s icon? Like all of a sudden we have a craving for an order of Hooters chicken wings. A closer look …
Hey, wait a second … those are BOOBS! Seriously, look closely … we see cleavage. Damn those Kayac guys are smart marketers … but we digress. Let’s read on …
Ahhh … starting to make sense. The subliminal Hooters craving … the boob shot icon … the foreign title “Tanimania” … it’s all about CLEAVAGE MANIA baby!
Well duh … thank you Mr. Obvious … “This application makes you happier by retouching cleavage of your picture even sexier automatically” … translated – screw Prozac … boobs are the ultimate antidepressants – boobs make you happier.
WTH – there you go Kayac … you just had to ruin a “happy” thing with your weird ass shit imagination. We were totally fine with taking pics of our various lady friends and giving them some extra “happy” … so why get creative on us? Animal boobs? Sorry … no interest in black bear or poodle boobs. Food boobs? Are you f**cking serious? Like apple, pizza and creme brulee boobs? All kinds of materials? Two-by-four and drywall boobs? No, no, no Kayac … wrongmodo! Bad idea to ask your creativity … if you’re gonna gawk at boobs, they belong on one kind of material – GIRLS.
But hey, who are we to judge? If kangaroo boobs make you happy, cuter and sexier … go for it! Watch the Tanimania demo video and then ask your creativity to find a good one! Enjoy!
Balloon Boy Lands In App Store – This Is Not A Hoax
We are sick (but you probably already knew that)! Last month, as we joined the millions of people watching the Balloon Boy stunt unfold, we kept thinking … “man this would make an awesome iPhone app”. Just think about it … Balloon Boy’s Revenge. A Bully Beatdown of sorts … where users come to the aid of Balloon Boy, Falcon Heene, and slap the shit out of his publicity whoring parents.
Well our twisted dream almost came true with the release of Balloon Boys from Mosa Motion Graphics.
With the Balloon Boys app, users can create their own Balloon Boy-themed hoax by inserting a selection of silver balloons and flying figurines into photos taken from the in-app’s camera or iPhone camera roll. Heck … you could probably create your own media frenzy by emailing your Balloon Boy sighting mash-up to the press … we’re sure they’ll love you for it.
Now granted, Balloon Boys is much tamer than the crap-kicking version of what we envisioned (and what the parents deserve), however the app is an excellent tribute to an event that’s sure to become a classic American folk-tale.
Oh and as an fyi … on November 13, douchebags Richard and Mayumi Heene (Balloon Boy’s parents) pled guilty to “false reporting to authorities” and “attempting to influence a public servant”. All the more reason the iPhone really does need a “Slap The Shit Out Of Balloon Boy’s Parents” app.
Symmetrix Delivers The Obama Alien And Other Oddities
Someone once described KRAPPS as perfect iPhone chaos, focusing on the outer edges of the App Store. And while we haven’t put much thought into it … yeah, we tend to agree. We’re all about the whacky, weird, stupid and strange … ridiculously odd apps … that, depending on your “taste”, can be highly entertaining (or for that matter, offensive).
So with a keen eye for the unusual, this Obama image that piqued our curiosity.
LMAO … we’d vote for that extraterrestrial for sure! So how was the Obama Alien created? With the revolutionary iPhone, of course … using a new 99¢ app called Symmetrix [iTunes] by Ichigon.
Symmetrix is a photo manipulation app which uses a mirror effect to create hysterical symmetric images. The entire creation process is super easy and extremely quick. Take a look at the Dennis Rodman pictures below … transforming a “normal” Rodman (and in Dennis’ case, we use the term “normal” loosely) into a butt-nose circus freak took just a few seconds by simply adjusting Symmetrix’s tool bar.
Or check out how Symmetrix turns a routine Peyton Manning pass play into a standstill shotgun formation.
And of course, distorting our favorite celebrity (we love you Steve Jobs) in Symmetrix provided us the most hysterics.
Symmetrix is an extremely polished app. The user interface is intuitive and Ichigon did a great job of paying attention to details. For example, in addition to importing pictures from your Photo Library or taking snapshots from the app’s built-in camera, a direct Google Images link is included so the user does not have to exit Symmetrix to find and import photos from Google Images – very convenient!
To celebrate the launch of Symmetrix, Ichigon is conducting a 5-week competition, where each week 4 prizes are awarded to the coolest user-submitted Symmetrix image. Weekly prizes include iPopperz headphones and Pogo Sketch iPhone pens … and a Livespeakr iPhone speakers grand prize. Once again, entering the contest is very convenient … images can be submitted from within the app. Check out the Competition Page on Ichigon’s site for complete details.
Symmetrix is a high quality well built unique app … and at 99¢, Symmetrix [iTunes] is a freaking bargain. Plus you know a developer is freaking nuts (in a good way) when they produce a totally odd, yet sexy cool Borat-style promo video … just push play for some bizarro fun and creativity.
New App Lets You Give The Finger – Yankees Fans Rejoice
So check it … dropping F-Bombs within an iPhone app is a big no-no per Apple and one of the quickest ways to get your app rejected. Well, unless you’re Nine Inch Nail’s frontman Trent Reznor – then having the word F**K in your app is ok. But apparently including F-Bombs in the form of a hand gesture is all good. F-Bomb hand gesture, huh? You know … Giving The Finger, Flipping The Bird, One Finger Salute.
Under the guise of SquirrelizeMe, you can now add the world famous F-YOU symbol to any picture you take from within the application. Of course F-YOU is not the only flair available. Choose from 11 others, including the freaking obnoxious photo-crashing squirrel, an angry seal, a creepy crawler, an okie-dokie hand gesture and more.
[editor’s note: real quick … a Minnesota couple had a squirrel crash their self-portrait. it became an Internet meme and coined the term “Squirrelize”. check out the National Geographic blog which explains it all and the Mashable article of the top 10 squirrel crasher moments … little bastard has even appeared on the moon!]
Ok, let’s not kid ourselves … the reason you’ll be downloading SquirrelizeMe is for the awesomeness of F-YOUizing (yes that’s a word – we just made it up now) your images. Think of the endless self-expression possibilities and creativity the middle finger presents.
Finally figured out your ex-boyfriend is a cheating douchebag? F-YOUize him!
WTH? Balloon Boy Might Have Been A Publicity Stunt Hoax? F-YOUize the kid’s parents!
Think Octomom is a pathetic worthless piece of humanity? F-YOUize her!
Sick of that pansy-ass crashing squirrel? F-YOUize it!
Some meathead Yankees fan gave you the F-YOU? F-YOU too Yankees fan – go Angels!
As awesome as SquirrelizeMe is, we do have a beef with the app. You cannot F-YOUize images stored within your iPhone’s camera roll … only pictures taken from within the app. We contacted Rostock, Germany-based SquirrelizeMe developer, Matthias Seemann, regarding this limited F-YOUizing feature. Matthias naturally responded, “F-YOU, wait for an update” … well ok then, we will.
In conclusion, we’re stoked to give our middle fingers a rest and let SquirrelizeMe convey our innermost thoughts and feelings. And we want to thank Apple for having the sense to pocket their mighty banhammer and let the world F-YOUize. Expressing your feelings is healthy, so perhaps this will be the first step in achieving world peace.
[F-YOU KRAPPS … you’re full of it!]
Sexy Collides With Bizarre In The App Store
One of our “favorite” developers (well, besides Brighthouse Labs, responsible for spamming the App Store with well over 2,000 apps) is Korean-based MSHOT. These are the freaks responsible for the Office Girls and Pocket Girls apps … extremely bizarre sexy hot chick wallpaper apps. Office Girls seemingly sexploits MSHOT’s female employees, while Pocket Girls preys on unsuspecting young Korean girls. From Pocket Girls’ description – “your purchase of this application enables us to … recruit new Asian girls and persuade them into lingerie shots”. Really weird shit which reminds us of the sex slave movie, Taken. Read our previous MSHOT article here.
Well the sexploitation at MSHOT continues to meet Apple’s approval with their latest three releases: Hot Office, Mesmerism and DVD Room.
Hot Office
Score! Two college coeds are recruited … snuck into a logistics center office … then some chatting took place (coercion?) … then a slimy photo shoot … and finally the girls were whisked away into the night. And bless those perverts at MSHOT for these high quality snapshots. Nothing turns us on more than hot chicks in a scummy roach infested room with titillating props such as stacks of cardboard boxes, rice cookers, electric fans and exposed water pipes. Oh baby … Papi likes!
Mesmerism
Hope you were paying close attention. Drop what you’re doing … quit your job … and become a hypnotist – NOW! And why not? Just look at those Mesmerism girls. Be a hypnotist, open a Mesmerism Center … and enjoy endless gawking sessions of chicks touching their breasts and who-haw. Hypnotist – a legal peeping tom.
(special note – at first Apple was cool with the notion of hypnotizing girls for devious sexual pleasures … but then a sudden moment of decency struck Cupertino … Mesmerism was pulled from the App Store)
DVD Room
Ok, we’re out of here. We’ll be catching the first flight to Seoul and get us some of this Video Bang action. Romantically designed private rooms where you can rent and watch DVD’s on the spot. This is pure brilliance and something sadly missing here in the States. We could see Video Bangs setting up shop on Main Street in Disneyland … Aladdin, Little Mermaid and Cinderella are romantic movies which would be perfect for a Video Bang session. Uh what? MSHOT is not talking about romantic Disney movies? Krap we are naïve. We just thought since Apple censors the word “Intercourse”, surely “Bang” would not imply a dirty word. Damn we are stupid … and still wondering if patrons visit these Video Bangs alone, with a partner or the establishment provides “hostesses”. Maybe Apple knows.
Living Photo Delivers Bush, Gates And Big Pimp [Videos]
We recently reviewed the Living Photo [iTunes] app … it makes your pictures come alive – blinking eyes, moving mouth, custom audio – stuff like that. Basically animated pictures … the kind you see in horror flicks (those talking paintings spook us), but cooler cuz you create them. Our first Living Photo was inspired by Steve Jobs … he’s pictured with a hot chick and is basically falling in love with her. If you missed it, check it here.
So we’ve been viewing the tons of Living Photos on YouTube … and go figure … many of them totally rock. Below are a few examples of Living Photo we wanted to share (pay special attention to the “spooning” reference at 23 sec. in Big Pimp’n Boston … LMAO).
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