Further Proof Of Apple’s Idiotic Approval Process

Yesterday we came across an article on TUAW regarding yet another rejected app. This latest decision by Apple is so completely idiotic, we just couldn’t resist honoring Apple’s stupidity and ignorance. The story goes like this …

AppleKickNuts Craig Robinson is a fairly normal dude … he’s left-handed, has a beard, loves baseball, drinks beer and is an iPod Touch user. Now Craig isn’t perfect, he does have his quirks … he’s a huge New York Yankee fan, collects stuck Tic Tacs and waits 15 months between haircuts. But for all his oddities, Craig didn’t deserve the two epic nut shots Apple delivered to his manhood.

You see Craig is an accomplished artist and has established a unique niche of creating Minipops … totally cool itsy bitsy teeny weenie pixilated renditions of famous people – celebrities, sports figures, politicians, musicians, etc … heck, he’s even got a cool one of Steve Jobs ( LOL, but no Bill Gates). Dude’s been MiniPopping (is that a word?) for the past ten years, so needless to say … he’s totally legit, has three published Minipops books and is a well respected individual in the art world … Craig Robinson does not suck.

Being the Apple fan boy, Craig thought it would be cool to create a Minipops app with his drinking buddy Matt. It would include every Minipop (1,000 of them) with a bit of witty text about each one (15,000 total words). Obviously not the standard KRAPPS, but a significantly large effort. (can you correctly identify the Minipop below? – answer at end of article)


So great … the Minipops app was produced, submitted to Apple and promptly REJECTED.  Craig is an offensive bastard and his Minipops below were returned from Apple, who said: “ridicules public figures and is in violation of Section 3.3.12” …

ObamaRejectTextR111   ParisRejectTextREJECTED

Ok, so instead of debating Apple why the Obama family Minipop is suitable for an upcoming book about Michelle Obama, yet is offensive for the iPhone … Craig took the high road, eliminated all descriptions, resubmitted to Apple and was kicked in the balls a second time. Why? Because now Apple has a problem with the images seen below …

ObamaRejected111   ArnieRejected111


zuneKRAPP So at this point, Craig is about to shove his iPod Touch up Apple’s “core” and buy a Zune. What on earth does this guy have to do to get his Minipop app approved … wake up Apple and realize there are perfectly acceptable artistic tributes to public figures with no malicious intent (ok, maybe a half pixel Alanis bush would be more appropriate than a full pixel bush … but then again, what’s half a pixel among friends? but it’s relevant bush per her Thank U music video). This is the same vague and inconsistent “3.3.12” krapp we wrote about in the NIN access, Poker vs Girls, Hot Dog Down A Hallway, iNewz Tech and iStrip articles. Yet Apple approves the Peep Show app and agrees it’s appropriate for 4th graders to watch strippers take off their clothes. We must have missed that day in Parenting Class.

Come on Apple! LET’S GO! Get you krapps together and stop screwing with the developer’s time, money and emotions. News flash oh shiny red fruit – don’t bite the hand that feeds you … without these third-party developers, the iPhone would be just another smartphone and a krappy one at that!

(answer – Ozzy Osbourne and family … although missing a headless bat)