The Toothless One Speaks

w1.2 Per Wikipedia, flatulence humor has long been considered funny in cultures that believe the public passing of gas is impolite. The earliest recorded fart jokes appeared in the 5th century play “The Knights” by Aristophanes. Both Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain dropped fart funnies in their written work. Even the Whoopee Cushion, which was invented in 1930, has historic significance as it evolved from a simple rubber noisemaker to a self-inflating and remote-controlled device in the 1990s … which bring us to now, 2009 … The Year Of The iPhone Fart.

stinkyiPhone iPhone fart apps have been the hot topic lately. Blogs, discussion forums, Twitter, newspapers and even television … everyone is buzzing about iPhone farts. It all started December 12, 2008, when the first 4 fart apps were released: iFart Mobile, iPooted, Fart Machine and Pull My Finger. Since then, fart apps have been hitting the App Store at a furious pace – approximately 3 new fart apps appear each day. To date, there are approximately 48 iPhone farting applications. When will fart apps finally run out of gas (no pun intended)? – who knows – but one thing is certain … love ‘em or hate ‘em … iPhone farts are here to stay.

Random Observations …

> iFart Mobile is the overall #1 paid app
> Similar iFart Mobile copy-apps: iFart, my iFart and uFart
> WhoopieCushion is the top free fart app and is ranked #15 amongst all free apps
> Too many WhoopieCushion copy-apps: iWhoopee, iWhoopi, iWhoopie, iWoopi Cushion, iWhoopieCushion, Whoopie Cushion, Whoopee Cushion and Whoopee!!
> Creative titles: Mr. Poot!, Cheese Cutter, Gas Master and Excuse Me
> Expanded functionality: record your fart and email farts 
> Fart games are now starting to appear: Fart Bubbles and Name That Fart
> What’s Next predictions: Rock Paper Fart, Tic-Tac-Fart, Fart Lighter, GPS Fart Locator

And finally … a visual tribute to the first 48 fart apps …

farts_JPG010509x600

January 7, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 32 Comments 

Fun With Dick And Jane

Title: Ball
Category: Entertainment

BallScreen Look Jane.
Look, look.
See Dick.

See Dick, iPhone.
See Dick iPhone app Ball.
Ball, Ball, Ball.

BallDickandJaneCover Come, Jane. 
Come and play.
Come and play iPhone Ball.

Bounce, Ball.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
Oh Ball.

Come and see.
Come and see iPhone Ball.
Come and see Ball bounce, bounce, bounce.

Oh Ball.
Oh Ball why?
Why iPhone Ball just bounce, bounce and that is all?

See Jane frown.
See Dick sad.
Bad iPhone app, bad.

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | Leave a Comment 

Chicks Dig Me

Title: Finger Sprint
Category: Games

Finger Sprint Icon WARNING – We are about to spotlight an app that is so freaking unbelievable and exciting that we must request (require) our viewers to sit down before reading this entry. We do not want you to collapse from becoming overjoyed.

In a world of boring and dull iPhone games, the Finger Sprint app is pure genius and a breath of fresh air. As the developer describes:

Finger Sprint is the game you’ve been waiting for! Run your fingers as fast as you can to try and get the number 1 space on the leader board.

True, I’ve been waiting for an iPhone game where I can finally display my God given talent of finger running.

This game gets even better with friends. Once people see you playing, they will want to have a go and try to beat your fastest time.

Too cool. Finger Sprint will completely change my life. I’ll make tons of friends and if I’m dedicated, chicks will dig me because I’m the bad ass Finger Sprint champion of the World!

Finger-Sprint-Shirt

Tip: Take long strides on the screen with your fingers to get maximum distance per step.

Thank you developers for this insight. I hope in the future a complete “Finger Sprint Training Guide” is published so I can become the champion of the world and have chicks dig me.

Like we said and we think you’ll agree … Finger Sprint is just plain wicked awesome … which is why we are totally put off by the user reviews in the App Store … why the haters?

Finger-Sprint-Reviews

Finally, as a special treat to our viewers, we leave you with video footage of Finger Sprint in action. This clip is amazing – jam packed with Finger Sprint action – you will love it!

January 5, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 11 Comments 

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