Sexy Apple

snoop64 Sorry folks … we realize that lately there’s been a lot of sexed-up app coverage on KRAPPS. But we can’t help it. As we stated yesterday, some Apple executive is riding high on the Viagra Gone Wild plane and there’s been a massive rush of sexy apps over the past few weeks. Not exactly sure what’s going on at The Mothership, but Apple has seriously been acting like dogs in heat … woof! woof! Dogg!

Anyways … no clue how long this Viagra induced Apple sexfest will last, so we’ll run down a few more of these sexploitation apps and then do our best to put a moratorium on the topic.

Ok … so here’s a helpful little app … heck, everyone already has at least one version of it on their iPhone. We’re talking weather apps … get the current temperature, forecast, maybe a little dew point … it’s all good, right? WRONG! What we really need is a sexy weather app from Visuamobile called Pin Up Weather. Ahhh, now we get it! This is why The Weather Channel app sucks so bad, just push play and see what you’re missing (hysterical stuff):

 

Actually the next app provides a lot of educational value. It’s for those aspiring sailors who are learning the meaning of various international maritime signal flags. Basically flash cards of signal flags … but not just any old flash cards … Bevy of Busty Babes flash cards … the NautiFlags app (ha, ha … see what they did there? … ha, ha … clever? … whatever)

NautiFlagsDesc

NautiFlags1   NatuiFlags2

Wow … we are so there! Count us in … we want to become sailors and hang out with a Bevy of Busty Babes … cuz sailors are cool like that – rollin’ in our 6 fo with all the Busty Babes and our playa Snoop of course! (for the record, Snoop rocks!)

So let’s put a close this Apple sexfest and go machine gun style with the following apps:

Sexy Chat Message Generator – helps you talk sexy
Hot Girl Chat – losers get to chat with “real girls” (come on, it’s a dude!)
Guy Wall – a little sexy for the ladies
iStrip Sexy Pen – hey! Pens can be sexy too
Bikini Poker – way better than Stick In Your Eye Poker
Super Sexy Mood Light – let’s your lover know you’re in the mood
iGay Dating For The Male Sex – some of dat sexy for gays 
Sexy Meter – sort of like the Douchebag Meter app
Sexy Can Of Corn – ha, you think we’re kidding, just wait for it

And there you have it … bye, bye sexfest … we’re turning on the cold shower and putting an end to those sex-crazed freaks at Apple! CYA!

App Eat App

Title: WeatherX
Category: Weather

Apparently WeatherX developer, Karim Dhanani, has bone to pick with customers who leave negative reviews in the App Store. You see, Karim has declared himself the “App Store Review Police” and threatens to report aggressors to Apple demanding the individual be banished. OUCH! … harsh KRAPPS!

WeatherX-Desc

nospam Karim uses the term “spam” – which we find strange. We’ve seen negative reviews where users compare the offending KRAPPS to an app which they prefer – but to claim this is “spam” (a developer pimping their own app while unfairly slamming another) is a bit paranoid. Not exactly sure why the paranoia. He’s released 5 apps (WeatherX, WeatherLive, CDCAlert, MedicalAlert and Quicklink) and the only customer review remotely looking like spam appears in the WeatherLive review:

WeatherX-Review2

So does Karim think customer Gold Prime is really My Weather Mobile since Gold Prime gives his opinion as “My Weather Mobile is still the best weather app”. Wow – Da Horror! Karim might be on to some dark evil scheme by My Weather Mobile to destroy all other iPhone weather apps. Guess it’s an App Eat App World out there in Developer Geekland.

madgeek LOL … dude needs to chill. I mean come on – how can you be so pissed that the opening line in your WeatherX description is about this spamming nonsense. Is this really the first impression you want to give your potential customers … that you are Mr. Pissed Off Paranoid App Developer Dude? Seriously, got a beef … blog it … twitter it … hell, start a “My Weather Mobile App Sucks” Facebook group … but putting it in your WeatherX description is freaking madness. Makes me want to buy the app and leave a KRAPPS/spam review just to mess with good old Karim. And for the record, WeatherX looks promising and has some cool features, but it’s tough download this angry app when I can install more peaceful, loving and kind apps like Koi Pond or Zen Garden … hint, hint Karim … you might want to do the same.