Did you hear the news? Or maybe it’s just for those Apple “insiders” … well whatever, we are here to share. So get this … one of Apple’s top executives (we will NOT name names) was recently prescribed Sildenafil Citrate (google it) and is now enjoying its effects. Oh yeah, this guy can be seen walking the hallways of 1 Infinite Loop with an extra spring in his step. Dude has a massive shit-eating grin plastered on his face 24/7. And of course … Mr. Happy Pants just can’t say “No” … if it has a pulse, he’s all over it. But it’s not what you think … he’s all over any and every app which is submitted to Apple for approval.
How do we know? We got mad skillz and the facts …
We’ve discussed this many times … sex sells. Now get an Apple exec hopped up on Viagra and sex REALLY sells. Take for example a standard clock app … it displays the time in 12 hour or military modes, has an alarm with a snooze button, different time zones, a countdown timer, etc … blah, blah, blah … standard stuff. Now sprinkle in a bit of Viagra dust … and boom … you get sexy clock. Sexy clock? Absolutely … why look at a standard boring iPhone clock when you can be enjoying Bikini Times Clock.
Oh yeah … sexy bikini girls … this we like! We’ll be looking at bikini girls all day … that’s how we roll … too sexy … the iPhone rocks! Oh, and did we mention the Bikini Times Clock displays the time? But we do have a bone to pick with the Bikini Times Clock – it ain’t all that! This app lacks fart functionality, which seriously jeopardizes it’s $1.99 price tag. Why not just make the PERFECT clock app – a Sexy Farting Bikini Clock. Hourly chimes = Farts … Alarm sound = Farts. Yeah Mr. Viagra Apple Man … mix in a bean burrito … because
SEX + FARTS = $$$. Cuz it’s all about the profit … so take that one straight to the bank!