Worry About Sperm Count? We Do!
We worry a lot. We worry about Mars coming to close to Earth. We worry about shrinking our Ed Hardy shirt in the dryer (WTH). We worry about the Thule roof rack flying off our vehicle. Beef curry? – yeah, we worry. The increasing instability of Twitter? – yup, we worry about that as well. It’s not like we’re emo or something … we just have ulcers.
We worry that maybe we have anxiety. Argh!
But perhaps our biggest worry in life … to the point where we sometimes shake uncontrollably … is sperm. Specifically … we worry about our sperm count. Hey! Don’t laugh … we’re serious … not to mention a male’s sperm count is serious stuff as well. How do we know if we have enough baby batter? It’s not like you can just stick a thermometer in your mouth to get a numerical semen reading. It’s like one of those mysteries of life … How Does Man Know His Sperm Count?
Good news to all of us worrying about daddy’s little squirt … once again the iPhone answers another mystery of life with the iCount (Sperm) app … oops, sorry – sperm is a dirty word, make that … iCount (S***m)
Wow – just look at these phenomenal iCount (Sperm) features … (sorry, hope it’s cool we use the dirty version of s***m):
>> Approximates maximum potential sperm count
>> Uses complex algorithms involving BEDMAS (bedmas – uh – WTH is that?)
>> Track your “releases” (releases – uh – WTH is that?)
>> Average sperm count at release
>> Estimated time and date of next release
>> Number of release per week
Whoa nilly … fantastic … and you can even email the developer your personal stats at icountapp@gmail.com – rumor has it that the developer will be updating iCount (Sperm) with a global leader board – brilliant!
So this is all good. Life got just a bit easier here at KRAPPS … we have one less thing to worry about now thanks to the iCount (Sperm) app. Thank you Apple!
Memo To Developers:
Apparently Apple has deemed any word beginning with the letter “i” as sacred. Case in point … iCount (S***m) – where sperm is a dirty word and thus censored …. yet iSperm is perfectly acceptable since it carries the sacred “i” prefix. Hmmm … iIntercourse, iVagina, iPiss … you can have all sorts of sacred fun understanding the Gospel of Apple.
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Bill Mathers
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Name
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KRAPPS
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KRAPPS
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Bill Mathers
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Name
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KRAPPS
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KRAPPS