How To Get Your Ass Kicked
Title: Respect My Authoriti!
Category: Lifestyle
Caution! Please note, this is a very powerful app and should be utilized carefully and responsibly.
The purpose of this app is to give the user the respect they deserve. For example, if someone confronts you in a threatening manner, simply take out your iPhone, launch the Respect My Authoriti! app and show the individual who is harassing you the app’s badge. This will send a clear message that you have power, demand respect and ultimately the threatening situation should subside. I can see this app being quite handy say in a biker bar filled with the meanest and biggest SOB’s on the planet. So relax, have a drink at Harry’s Biker Bar, no worries about getting your ass kicked, you have the Respect My Authoriti! app.
I think it’s best if you simply read the app’s description. It will give you a clearer understanding and quite frankly, provides a very amusing read … I can’t even make this stuff up:
Feelin’ ignored? Is “The Man” gettin’ you down? Need to show ’em who’s in charge and just don’t know how? Well, then thank your lucky stars that you just found the answer to these problems. Respect My Authoriti! shows those miscreant fools who’s running things and makes ’em cower in fear of your awesome display of obvious authority.
Respect My Authoriti! is simple to use. Select either a male or female voice and then choose which badge of authority will work best on your targets. Includes a shield similar to those used by police departments, a star similar to those used by sheriffs departments, and an ID badge that resembles those used by federal agents.
The next time some fool crosses your path and challenges you, just whip out your iPhone or iPod Touch, launch Respect My Authoriti!, and show ’em your badge. If presented with enough force your voice of authority will audibly play to reinforce your demand for respect.
Please remember this application is for the purpose of entertainment only. Impersonating an officer of law or other official is illegal in most jurisdictions. Be smart and have fun. And don’t forget to share the Authoriti with your friends! I mean, doesn’t everyone needs a little respect?
So I think that about sums it up … enough said.
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