You know the good old expression … “Have A Nice Day”? … well we think it blows! We’re here to tell you … “Have A SHITTY Day” … yeah, that’s right … “Have An AWFUL Day” – “Have A TERRIBLE HORRIBLE MESIRABLE Day” – “Have The WORST Day Of Your Life!”. Got a smile on your face … well we hope your smile turns into a frown and cracks your face open. As a matter of fact, we hope you end up in tears … boo freaking hoo … cry us a river … yeah, that’s it … sucks for you!
You know what – if we ever see you all joyful and cheery and krapp … we’re going to walk right up to you and pop your happy ass with a verbal assault that will make even the jolliest of moments heartbreaking and glum. Stuff like … “somewhere, someplace, someone is starving to death at this very moment” … or … “there are approximately 250 million child laborers worldwide” … “you probably will get a divorce”, etc.
What? What’s our problem? What’s YOUR freaking problem?!?! No we’re not agro … no we’re not emo … we are KRAPPS and we found a new iPhone app which changed our outlook on life. Sure, you may think this app jacked us up … but we’re thrilled about our new found krappy attitude and want to make sure you are just as miserable as we are with the help of the Apple-approved Daily Downer app:
So yeah, we’re going to be THAT GUY to slam you with HORRIBLE FACTS about our world. Make sure you invite us to your wedding, baby shower or other festivity … we’ll be sure to destroy your celebration and jack up even the biggest optimist. Cuz now we have the talent – now we have the skillz – now we have Daily Downer and now it sucks for you.
PS – Have A Shitty Day Apple!