“Intercourse” Is A Bad Word

Confession … we have this fascination for menstrual calendar iPhone apps. Not so much the functionality of the application (tracking one’s cycle), but the naming of these things. We feel sorry for the poor bastard in charge of throwing down a creative menstrual calendar title … iFlow, AuntFlo, Ladies’ Day, Mensies and other brilliant naming conventions. So back in January, as a tribute to this sucky job, we wrote an article saluting Mr. Menstrual Calendar IntercoursePAfinal App Title Creator.

So our fascination continues and we always pay special attention to menstruation tracking apps … like the new Pregnancy Alarm app. While the title is a bore, Pregnancy Alarm contains some very controversial material within its description. The developers pushed the descriptive language too much and were slammed by Apple’s profanity filter. The offensive word? … (brace yourselves) … INTERCOURSE! Yes … INTERCOURSE … that nasty and vile word, commonly found in 7th grade health education text books introducing reproduction. But not in the App Store … there will be none of that sick and disgusting language. It’s better to have an endless stream of scantily clad girly images than this horrible horrible word … INTERCOURSE … blech!

PregnancyAlarmFinal11

As usual, we applaud Apple for such sound judgment and its attempts to protect customers from filth and smut. We can always count on Apple for saving our souls and leading us to the path of redemption – Hallelujah Apple! Remember folks, INTERCOURSE is repulsive.

And of course … being the “givers” we are at KRAPPS … we prepared a memo which iPhone application development companies can use to notify and warn their employees of this newly discovered policy from Apple …

INTERNAL MEMO – CONFIDENTIAL

Date:     (insert date here)
Subject: “Intercourse” Is A Bad Word

 

Attention (insert company name here) Employees!

 

While we are not in the business of creating menstruation tracking applications, KRAPPS.com pointed out a very interesting item. Intercourse is a BAD WORD and cannot be placed in the description of your application at all. Intercourse will show up as –> I********e.

 

So for all of our future apps, make sure we do not include the word "Intercourse". Other possibilities that might not be recommended for use include: "Contraceptive", "Conceive", "Inception", "Insert", "Tab A Slot B", any combination of the words "Fuzzy", "Taco", or "Beaver".

 

That being said, keep up the great work in describing our applications without using profanity or pornographic references. Thank you for your attention in this matter.

 

Regards,
(insert your name here)

June 15, 2009 | Filed Under Health, Lifestyle 

Comments

  • susanbdot

    Do you know it's 4.5 hours from intercourse to climax? Er, make that Intercourse, and Climax. Both in Pennsylvania.

    There's a town named Blue Ball somewhere too. Thought it was PA or WV, but I lost it.

    Take that, Apple. You'll have to reject Google Maps now.

  • susanbdot

    Do you know it's 4.5 hours from intercourse to climax? Er, make that Intercourse, and Climax. Both in Pennsylvania.

    There's a town named Blue Ball somewhere too. Thought it was PA or WV, but I lost it.

    Take that, Apple. You'll have to reject Google Maps now.

  • Thanks for the insight! Boy that's one helluv a ride from Intercourse to Climax! We are still talking about cities in Pennsylvania, right?

  • Thanks for the insight! Boy that's one helluv a ride from Intercourse to Climax! We are still talking about cities in Pennsylvania, right?

  • susanbdot

    More like small towns, but yeah, Pennsylvania. And I found Blue Ball. Also Pennsylvania. According to Wikipedia: “Blue Ball is an unincorporated community in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania near 40°N 76°W. Blue Ball lies approximately 2 miles east-northeast of the town of New Holland, Pennsylvania at the intersection of US 322 and PA Route 23.” OK, so it's not even a town. The name comes from the Blue Ball Inn.

  • susanbdot

    More like small towns, but yeah, Pennsylvania. And I found Blue Ball. Also Pennsylvania. According to Wikipedia: “Blue Ball is an unincorporated community in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania near 40°N 76°W. Blue Ball lies approximately 2 miles east-northeast of the town of New Holland, Pennsylvania at the intersection of US 322 and PA Route 23.” OK, so it's not even a town. The name comes from the Blue Ball Inn.

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  • FelixLeech

    See, the really great thing is when you are driving through Lancaster County and you come across the sign that has an arrow pointing one way to Blue Ball, another one to Intercourse, and the last one to Paradise. All three are in a row on one road. Start in Blue Ball, head through Intercourse, on your way to Paradise!

  • FelixLeech

    See, the really great thing is when you are driving through Lancaster County and you come across the sign that has an arrow pointing one way to Blue Ball, another one to Intercourse, and the last one to Paradise. All three are in a row on one road. Start in Blue Ball, head through Intercourse, on your way to Paradise!

  • Wow … this sounds like a great vacation spot 😉 Isn't it like Amish country or something?

  • Wow … this sounds like a great vacation spot 😉 Isn't it like Amish country or something?

  • lol Pathetic !!

  • lol Pathetic !!

  • Jeannie1

    So To Comment on the ACTUAL SUBJECT!!! ; ) The app is actually very good. I bought the desktop version at http://www.PregnancyAlarm.com. But Yes, Intercourse is a dirty word! I believe the developer actually changed that word in the description now to stop the press.

    -Jeannie S.

  • What app?!? 😉

    Agreed … it indeed seems like a solid application and certainly useful for
    individuals seeking to track their ovulation cycles.

    And for the record … we do NOT think “intercourse” is a dirty/bad word –
    rather find humor that a 7th grade Health Class subject would be censored by
    Apple. DA HORROR! 😉

  • I think it's the best suitable word.

  • I think it's the best suitable word.