iPhone App Teaches How To Touch A Woman’s Body

BikiniBlast Similar to fart apps which began appearing back in December, the latest App Store rage are those Sexy Hot Chick Wallpaper apps. Trying to decide which babelicious wallpaper app to download is similar to making a selection from the 250 beers available at the Yard House restaurant … the possibilities are overwhelming –> blondes, brunettes, Japanese, American, Korean, Russian, bikini, lingerie, sexy cops, naughty nurses, horny maids, soccer sluts, MILF’s, spring break coeds … LOL – WTF people … step away from the Do Me Baby wallpaper apps and find yourself a real live Do Me Baby … trust us, it’s much better this way.

“But KRAPPS, I tried finding a real Do Me Baby … but I can’t. It’s much easier just to download them to my iPhone. I even tried those pickup line apps … they don’t work … no live Do Me Baby will do me.”

large_superbad Fear not you sack of suck … good news! We’ve discovered an training tool app which will help even the most pathetic dork find a living breathing Do Me Baby. Check it …
the Genie In A Bottle app.

Genie In A Bottle is not your typical tired, boring and useless hot babe app. Nope, it has a specific purpose … to transform sweaty palmed heavy breathing dirty creeps into polished and refined Casanovas. Yup … the Genie In a Bottle app will teach you how to touch a woman the right way!

GenieInABottleDesc

Wow … your own personal How To Touch A Woman coach! How can you resist such features: “Genie In A Bottle lets you touch the hottest babes” … “Rub these babes back and forth”. A simple concept – just rub on and touch these hotties as you please. If you caress them right, they express their satisfaction … if you stroke them wrong – DENIED!

Genie1 Genie4 Genie3

Genie5 Genie2 Genie6

So rejoice dork … there’s hope for you landing a Do Me Baby that actually has a pulse. Just keep stroking and rubbing your iPhone … eventually you’ll get the hang of it. And hey, if for whatever reason you’re still not having luck with the hunnies … well, at least you have your iPhone to fondle.

June 16, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle 

Comments

  • susanbdot

    You're not allowed to use the word “intercourse” in a HEALTH-related app, but you can teach people how to… to… uh… “rub” images of supposedly sexy women in presumably sexually satisfying ways, and that's OK? Because it's, what, EDUCATIONAL? Or are we just giving them therapeutic massages of their bellybuttons and kneecaps?

    What is Apple smoking NOW?

    I'll allow them the “babe rubbing” with all the tawdry posing, tacky props, and tasteless lingerie, if they'll give back “intercourse” in a health-related app. That was as dumb as AOL (or whoever it was) banning the words “breast” (think breast cancer, and chicken cooking discussions) and “bitch” (think dog breeding) in their forums some years ago. Idiots. Thought that battle was fought and won already.

  • susanbdot

    You're not allowed to use the word “intercourse” in a HEALTH-related app, but you can teach people how to… to… uh… “rub” images of supposedly sexy women in presumably sexually satisfying ways, and that's OK? Because it's, what, EDUCATIONAL? Or are we just giving them therapeutic massages of their bellybuttons and kneecaps?

    What is Apple smoking NOW?

    I'll allow them the “babe rubbing” with all the tawdry posing, tacky props, and tasteless lingerie, if they'll give back “intercourse” in a health-related app. That was as dumb as AOL (or whoever it was) banning the words “breast” (think breast cancer, and chicken cooking discussions) and “bitch” (think dog breeding) in their forums some years ago. Idiots. Thought that battle was fought and won already.

  • Superbad Rules!

  • Superbad Rules!

  • Superbad Rules!

    and with a little punctuation modification, you get the KRAPPS mantra:

    Super! bad rules

  • Superbad Rules!

    and with a little punctuation modification, you get the KRAPPS mantra:

    Super! bad rules

  • Sam Robertson
  • Sam Robertson
  • Wes

    Super bad

  • Wes

    Super bad

  • Wes

    Superbad rules

  • Wes

    Superbad rules

  • Superbad Rules!

  • Superbad Rules!

  • ungeheier

    Superbad Rules!

  • ungeheier

    Superbad Rules!

  • Jay

    I know i didn't win but Super Bad! still makes me cry laughing. Favorite quote: “…and have you ever looked into his eyes?? I've never felt so safe” lol

  • Jay

    I know i didn't win but Super Bad! still makes me cry laughing. Favorite quote: “…and have you ever looked into his eyes?? I've never felt so safe” lol

  • Not sure how these sex themed application get approved by Apple. I just read an article in Yahoo about a bunch that got pulled due to complaints. They really should have an adult section with age verification through iTunes.

  • Not sure how these sex themed application get approved by Apple. I just read an article in Yahoo about a bunch that got pulled due to complaints. They really should have an adult section with age verification through iTunes.