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iPhone Apps For Your Private Parts

Ok … we had a enough. We looked the other way long enough … today something needs to be said …

If You Use Your iPhone As A Sex Toy – You’re An IDIOT!

Seriously, freaking control yourself – what are you, an animal? You use the damn thing to make phone calls, text messages, email, Twitter, listen to music, check sports scores and millions of other iPhone uses … do you really think you your poor iPhone wants to be hanging out in your freaking crotch? HELL NO (how do we know? – the iPhone told us – we’re like that Dog Whisperer dude for iPhones) … show the thing some respect – this is an iPhone people – keep it above the belt.

And STEVE?!?! … what is this you dirty dog … iVibrateMe – “great for your special private areas” … “satisfy your needs” … “relieve pent-up stress”. So Apple, you mean to tell us this kind of app description is ok for all viewing audiences yet Cock-A-Doodle-Do and Fartknocker get zapped by your profanity filter? WTH is this?

Now look, nothing against these types of pleasure aids … but here’s some sound advice … next time you plan to visit the Apple Store for your sex toy needs, mix in a little www.MyPleasure.com – (there’s a good idea … “excuse me Mr. Apple Store Employee – can you recommend the best vibrator sex toy application?” … LOL).

Which brings us to our next app … the MyVibe app. Yeah, it’s the same “great for your special areas” functionality, but we just love the “suggested use situations” …

“at your desk” … “in your car stuck in traffic” … “at the movies” … LOL – yeah, thank goodness Apple stopped those horrible innuendos of Fartknocker and Cock-A-Doodle-Do!

But this all leaves us confused … because it’s a well known fact that Apple rejects applications that link directly to objectionable material from within the app. So why on Earth is it ok to link the MyPleasure.com logo from within the MyVibe app directly to a Sex Toys and Adult Toy Store? And why is MyVibe, with its direct Adult Toy Store link, ok for 4 year olds? Do you really want to explain Sex Toys to your 4 year old … if your answer is yes … you’re an IDIOT! (and so is Apple).

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