Pork Brains In Milk Gravy – This App Comes Close

porkbrains Have you ever heard something so incredibly ridiculous that you thought for sure it was a joke … only it turns out to be true? Take this BS for example … dude suffering from headaches finds a bullet in his head … WTH – true! Or did you know no matter how hard you try to tickle yourself, you won’t laugh … WTH – true! Pork brains in milk gravy … WTH – true! Scuba divers can’t fart at depths of 33 feet or below … WTH – true!

So we came across this app called Pork Brains In Milk Gravy … no, no, no – just kidding! What we really did come across is an app that’s so completely insane we had to get a second and third opinion. We simply could not believe it … we totally thought it was a joke. But no, just like scuba farts … this ain’t no joke. This is HangTime baby!

HangTime_DescFINAL

WTF is this? … “measure how high you can throw your iPhone” … uh, somebody is “high” alright with that request. Sure, we’re dumbasses … we’ll launch our $300 iPhone towards Mars and hope to God we catch the damn thing before it shatters into zillion pieces. Freaking A – is this an episode of Jackass? But apparently it’s all true … shit, these badass HangTime users even videotape themselves in the act …

 

In Your Face! – New World Record, Biatch! – Chicks dig me cuz I play HangTime! And the online scoring thing is brilliant – the numbers are hysterical.  … there are running counters for the number of iPhones thrown in the air (currently 594), number of times iPhones have been thrown (27,376) and time iPhones have spent in freefall (8,844 seconds). Dave Hufnagel is the single throw leader at 1 minute 7 seconds. Damn, dude must have a bionic arm … LOL, uh no … freak actually took the iPhone skydiving with him and now trash talks all other HangTime challengers.

HangTime_High_Score_Single_   HangTime_Dave

wheelchair_HangTime_FINAL So the “unaided” single throw leader is Tee Jay Green at 5.95 seconds. Now we admit it, being freaks ourselves, we tried this HangTime krapp … our best time was 1.41 seconds and that was tossing the thing pretty freaking high. So we can’t even imagine 5.95 seconds … TJ, bro – you are complete kook! But actually, Tee Jay is already a legend. In the first 28 days of owning the app … he has 4 of the Top 10 scores, has thrown his iPhone 2,072 times for a total is 545 seconds. LOL … that’s nearly 10 minutes of air time, averaging 74 throws a day! WTH TJ … stop training for the Olympics – iPhone tossing is not an event.

TeeJayGreenFINAL

We think the best part of this story is the approval angle. So Apple reviewed HangTime one day after it was submitted. Because of the global high score functionality, HangTime recorded the actual throws and location of the Apple employee (0.59 seconds = wussy!) reviewing the app. Then it took Apple EIGHT MONTHS to finally approve it! They must have been really confused with this one … “no boobs – what do we do?” … priceless … LOL.

Apple_Test_iPhone_HangTime

Just a word of caution, because we know most of you will go out and try to kick Tee Jay’s ass in HangTime … please throw your iPhone responsibly and under no circumstance attempt to enjoy HangTime under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Thank you for your attention in this matter. Godspeed!

Comments

  • Im gonna tape it inside a sockem' bopper and launch that thing across the damn street!!! Or no I'm actually thinking the higher the score the dumber the person….. muahahah I <3 my pretty pretty working iPhone.

  • actually we were thinking … with the whole Mars thing coming up, launch
    our iPhone from Mars … screw that skydiving record enabled record!

  • susanbdot

    Do people REALLY do this?

    Morons.

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  • seedyh2008

    My biggest hang time:0.001sec !
    I couldn't bear to hurt my little buddie!
    Suffer a hearth attack everytime I drop my iPhone
    let alone throw it into the air!
    But someone will lose their phone using this app!!!

  • we hear you! our 1 second personal best seemed nuts and we immediately
    stopped our madness … but what about the dude hitting it 5 seconds …
    that's insane … doubt we could even throw it that freaking high. dang!

  • max191

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