We have a new pastime! Besides uncovering the biggest Sacks Of Suck in the App Store, we enjoy sharing the Dumbest Of Dumbass app rejections by Apple. It’s sort of like collecting baseball cards … we find apps that were rejected for the most moronic rationale (Minipops, Hotdog Down A Hallway, etc.) and display them in our baseball card album … errr … KRAPPS web site. A fun and entertaining little hobby … thanks Apple!
Our latest reject derives from the extremely popular I Can Has Cheezburger (ICHC) network of humor web sites … stuff like
FAIL Blog, Lolcats, etc. The ICHC app launched October 2008 as an extension of the network and displays content from all nine ICHC sites. The app is
uber-slick and developer Mike Cohen did a kick ass job coding it.
Now like any good developer, Mike was not satisfied with his first release. So in June, he submitted an update to Apple which would add a bunch of really cool features like Shake To Shuffle, Movie Support and more. But similar to many of his comrades … Apple delivered their famous epic nut shot squarely in Mike’s balls. Why? Because Apple determined that the images within the ICHC app are not suitable for kids under the age of 17:
Thank you for submitting I Can Has Cheezburger (Ad Free) to the App Store. We’ve reviewed I Can Has Cheezburger (Ad Free) and determined that we cannot post this version of your iPhone application to the App Store at this time because it is not appropriately rated. Our review indicates that the application content is not consistent with the current rating because it contains sexual content and mature or suggestive themes.
Please visit iTunes Connect to resubmit your binary and rate your application appropriately.
The kind folks at Apple forwarded a few images (see below) they felt were not age appropriate to ICHC’s current 9+ rating – all originating from the FAIL Blog site.
Fair enough … if Apple feels this material is not appropriate for 9+, so be it. But it sucks they were initially cool with the app being rated 9+, only to change their mind during a routine update approval. But whatever … developer Mike rolled with the punches and came up with a great solution – since the questionable content was from the FAIL Blog site, he added a code which filtered content to display only G-Rated material. A creative and brilliant solution that would even make Apple smile …. NOT!
Mike received basically the same rejection letter from Apple, stating the content is frequently mature and suggestive in nature and thus should be rated 17+. Apple failed to include any examples of the offensive material, leaving Mike thinking – “WTF” … it’s like Apple didn’t even review the app the second time … even Mickey Freaking Mouse would love this
G-Rated version and pimp it to all his 9 year old Mouseketeers. Not exactly sure why Mike needed to be kicked in his balls again when all he did was follow Apple’s rules. Obviously a 17+ rating would tank the app, not to mention there are significant problems developers face with a 17+ rated app … Shut Up Mike! No Update For You!
Unfortunately, Mike is not the only victim of dipshit Apple rejections. Developers are becoming increasingly confused, discouraged and pissed off. So what’s a dev to do? … develop Android apps as (Fake) Steve Jobs suggests (read his hysterical article)? Perhaps, but a group of resourceful folks are debating an Act of Solidarity to send Apple the message that their approval process sucks big time. Will they be heard? Will it be enough? Who knows … but it’s pretty pathetic that Apple’s lifeline (the dev’s) has to even consider this grassroots approach. Something is broken, why won’t Apple just fix the damn thing?