iSurprise Receives An App Store F My Life

Let’s play the Imagination Game …

pissed-off-angry-man > Imagine if you were at bat in a baseball
  game and the ump calls you out after two
  strikes (if you don’t know the game, it’s
  three strikes you’re out).

> Imagine if you score 94 out of a 100 on a
  math test and the teacher gives you a “C”
  grade (save the smartass “grading on the
  curve” comments).

> Imagine if you were driving 44 miles per hour in a 45 mph zone and get a speeding ticket.

How would these scenarios make you feel? … hell yeah .. pissed off and furious – mix in a bit confused and puzzled as well. Why the F are you being penalized for these actions? The rules are … 3 strikes you’re out – 94 is an “A” – 44 in a 45 zone is not speeding … so why the sudden change of rules?!?

But hey, calm down … it’s all good. We were playing the Imagination Game … no strike out, no “C” and no speeding ticket. You didn’t get screwed … rather someone else did. And it’s not imaginary … it’s the real deal “F My Life” … Apple-style, of course.

Today, we received a phone call from Apple and were told to remove the cracking animation effects from iSurprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (360911) – You totally deserved it (1) <- Steve Jobs vote?
On 08/2009 – iPhone Apps – by Vanilla Breeze (developer) – United States

With over 30 applications, Vanilla Breeze is one of the larger app publishers. They are the team behind such gems as i-Gun (check out this hysterical video), Roach Madness, Flock Away and of course iSurprise. The iSurprise app is a cool prank … hand your iPhone to an unsuspecting victim and when they attempt to launch any app, iSurprise produces a broken LCD. Oh … it also stamps flair items like hearts, moustaches and splattered paint balls on photos … but that’s totally besides the point of the app.

iSurprise Cracked Screen


So Apple contacts Vanilla Breeze and tells them to remove the “broken LCD” reference from the product description of iSurprise. Vanilla Breeze obeys. Later, Apple contacts them again, demanding the cracking animation effect be removed from iSurprise. But why? Apple states they were getting too many phone calls from their customers claiming their devices have become broken by using iSurprise.

Are you freaking serious? What moron claims there iPhone is really broken after using a gag cracked LCD app. The broken effect is not by default … the user must deliberately select the option. Broken iPhones due to iSurprise? … please … something smells like bull krap here. But this is “F My Life” Apple-style – so sucks for you Vanilla Breeze. They are pulling the broken LCD version and replacing it with a Lite non-cracked version … guess Apple will receive less calls from dumb shits.


(please note – iSurprise has a compatibility with OS 3.x, which has a workaround. Vanilla Breeze submitted an update, but sadly, it was never approved)

This whole “Apple changing the rules” thing is the latest trend in the idiotic app approval policies. Just yesterday, Josh over at Just Another iPhone Blog wrote an article about the iStat app, where Apple is requiring the removal of its best feature … freeing up iPhone memory. Now iSurprise get’s stripped of its best feature … yet hard core porn still remains in the Check myHottie app? Cracked LCD = not acceptable … Porno = acceptable (and don’t give us that shit for brains argument … Apple is not distributing pornography, users Big Brother 1984 are generating it).

Apple’s bizarre behavior is starting to scare us. It’s like we’re in George Orwell’s “1984” novel, trying to survive a repressive, totalitarian regime. It’s Apple’s world and we’re just living in it.

(for more details about the iSurprise drama, check out the Vanilla Breeze web site)


  • Darookan

    Apple is certainly doing this before some “iExplode” app appears. No pun intended.

  • ungeheier

    I remember reading a while back (a month or two ago) that Apple doesn't allow you to make your phone look like it's doing something that its not. I remember the cracked screen being one of the things that were mentioned as not being allowed. Not sure how this app may have been approved in the past, but I remember reading about apps not making it due to 'tricks' that made the iPhone appear to be broken or no longer working as they should. I dont think this applies to the fake phone call apps though.


    Im heading back to myHottie to check out some pr0n. 😉

  • Condawg

    …Wow. That is complete and utter bullshit.
    Fucking morons.
    “Hi, my iPhone was broken by the iSurprise application.”

    “Well, ma'am, can you tell us exactly what happened?”

    “I launched the app…”


    “And then I chose the 'Broken LCD effect.' All of the sudden, my LCD screen BROKEOMG!”

    “Well, this is downright ridiculous! We'll have the app pulled immediately. Thank you.”

  • LMAO … yeah something like that 🙂

  • Indeed, read the same information a while ago … no apps which simulate
    cracked screens. So we were totally suprised that Apple allowed iSurprise.
    And now? – well not suprised that Apple changed their minds … FML 😉

  • LMAO … yeah something like that 🙂

  • Indeed, read the same information a while ago … no apps which simulate
    cracked screens. So we were totally suprised that Apple allowed iSurprise.
    And now? – well not suprised that Apple changed their minds … FML 😉