Please take a brief moment to read the following description below. Go ahead, we’ll wait … this is, after all, all about you.
So let’s summarize what we read, just to make sure we are both on the same page. This app is called Burrito … it costs 99 cents … and it gives you a (as in “one”) breakfast burrito recipe with video instructions.
Are you F%#KING kidding us?!?
It’s a FREAKING burrito!!!
Why is this KRAP even in the App Store?!?
LOL … seriously, you want a breakfast burrito recipe? Save yourself a buck and click here, here and here. Don’t know how to “assemble” a burrito? Come here so we can whoop you upside the head … it’s a BURRITO, not brain surgery! Whip up some eggs … cook a chorizo … throw it in a tortilla … and BOOM – a breakfast burrito (and you owe us a buck).
Oh, but hold on! Looks like we missed some critical selling points of the Burrito app …
“The videos do not offer verbal instructions but the recordings are at close up which makes it easy to follow”
Holy shit … close up silent videos! yeah dev dude, you’ll get our dollar fo sho! Why the hell are you even telling us this? Wait for it … there’s even more to this phenomenal burrito video garbage …
“The videos can also be paused, stopped, fast forwarded or rewinded”
Seriously dev dude, are you talking to us? We’re a bit offended by this statement … we are NOT morons, we passed the Moron Test! Actually, screw this – we’re done taking this abuse from the Burrito app. One flippin’ recipe … blech! Maybe throw in an additional 99, mix in a Burrito Fart button and a chicka holding her boobs … then maybe … just maybe … we’ll consider your silent burrito movie app. But for now –
Adiós Burrito Estúpido Loco!