Man Taps iPhone 844,683 Times Proving Life Is Overrated

They say a picture is worth a thousand words … so we’ll shut up and show you a picture of the Million Tap Challenge app …

Million-Tap-Challenge-Title

With this brilliant and enticing description, at 99 cents, the Million Tap Challenge is certainly a tempting buy. But wait … we have more thousand words pictures …

Million-Tap-Challenge-2   Million-Tap-Challenge-1

Yeah, we know what you’re thinking … stunning graphics, superb colors and clear instructions. And look closely at the screenshot on the left … nearly 18 million official taps worldwide (we’re sure this number would be doubled if they counted unofficial taps). That’s a shit load of taps … must be a popular app. So once again, certainly a tempting buy at 99 cents. But wait … we have yet another thousand words picture …

Million-Tap-Challenge-Leade

Ah yes … a global leaderboard … a feature found only in the finest of iPhone apps. And wow … look at #1 Dude – 844,683 taps (assuming these are official taps). And even a bigger WOW … #2 Dude is only 3,775 taps behind #1 Dude. Looks like we have ourselves one helluv a race to the millionth tap. Damn, screw the World Series … Million Tap Challenge where the real action and excitement is!

Now let’s assume a well trained iPhone tapper can sustain a 3 taps per second pace. So #1 Dude has accumulated 844,683 taps … equating to 281,561 seconds or 4,693 minutes or 78 hours or over 3 days of uninterrupted tapping. No sleep, no eat (unless you’re hooked up to an IV), no bowel movements, no bathing … zip, nada, zilch … nothing but tapping 24/7 for over 3 days. Same thought process at 2 taps per second equates to nearly 5 days, a typical work week.

So you got that – right? 3 to 5 days of nonstop tapping … errrr, reality check …

YOU ARE AN IDIOT!
WTF DUDE … GET A LIFE!

And here’s the best part and our last thousand words picture … seems Million Tap Challenge might have a bit of a bug. Looking at real live Million Tap Challenge reviews, some users are losing tens of thousands taps. LMAO … sorry bastards.

Million-Tap-Challenge-Comme

Finally, our apologies. We normally try to keep our articles below 500 words. With 5 “one thousand words pictures” alone, we are way above the 500 word count threshold. But don’t blame us. We have a perfectly legit excuse … training for the Million Word Challenge app.

October 30, 2009 | Filed Under Games 

Comments

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  • Ok now what do you call an “unofficial tap”? lmao

  • Ok now what do you call an “unofficial tap”? lmao

  • Exactly our point! What is this “official” nonsense … sometimes a
    tap is just a tap.

  • Exactly our point! What is this “official” nonsense … sometimes a
    tap is just a tap.

  • jonahgrant

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, THIS WAS MY NEXT APP! Ugh, well, I guess I still have other ways to do this…….THE BILLION TAP CHALLENGE!

  • jonahgrant

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, THIS WAS MY NEXT APP! Ugh, well, I guess I still have other ways to do this…….THE BILLION TAP CHALLENGE!

  • Exactly … screw the Million, freaking slackers!! Hit the billion!!!
    (or at least a million and one)

  • Exactly … screw the Million, freaking slackers!! Hit the billion!!!
    (or at least a million and one)

  • jonahgrant

    How about we skip a billion, and just go to a google? Or it can be like that “Tap in 5 seconds” app and you have to tap in exactly Pi

  • jonahgrant

    How about we skip a billion, and just go to a google? Or it can be like that “Tap in 5 seconds” app and you have to tap in exactly Pi

  • ArcAngelmd

    How does it tell I'm not licking the screen instead of tapping? Another bug?

  • ArcAngelmd

    How does it tell I'm not licking the screen instead of tapping? Another bug?

  • with the growing trend of iPhone lickers, this is a very good and valid
    point … we will forward this information to the developer and hopefully a
    more accurate application will become available in a future update. thank
    you!

  • with the growing trend of iPhone lickers, this is a very good and valid
    point … we will forward this information to the developer and hopefully a
    more accurate application will become available in a future update. thank
    you!

  • nealtucker

    “…no bowel movements…”

    Are you implying that someone can't tap whilst on the john? I beg to differ.

    (Also, I found this post via @appboy on Twitter. Loved the post. Hilarious. I'll be back for more.)

  • nealtucker

    “…no bowel movements…”

    Are you implying that someone can't tap whilst on the john? I beg to differ.

    (Also, I found this post via @appboy on Twitter. Loved the post. Hilarious. I'll be back for more.)

  • It is not so much the actual movement of the bowel we are concerned
    with, rather the post-movement procedures that have us scratching our
    heads. Wiping, shaking off, washing hands, etc. makes it virtually
    impossible to maintain a 2 to 3 tap per second pace.

    And thanks for the visit … welcome to our Krazy KRAPPS Family 🙂

  • It is not so much the actual movement of the bowel we are concerned
    with, rather the post-movement procedures that have us scratching our
    heads. Wiping, shaking off, washing hands, etc. makes it virtually
    impossible to maintain a 2 to 3 tap per second pace.

    And thanks for the visit … welcome to our Krazy KRAPPS Family 🙂

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  • Calvin

    Considering you can use multiple fingers (I used 8), it's possible to tap numbers like 50 taps per second. It really isn't that hard to get a lot of taps.

  • Calvin

    Considering you can use multiple fingers (I used 8), it's possible to tap numbers like 50 taps per second. It really isn't that hard to get a lot of taps.

  • huh? dude … eight fingers?!?! that is nuts!! but they can't be at the same
    time, right? you have to get the technique right or we would assume you only
    get credit for one official tap.

  • huh? dude … eight fingers?!?! that is nuts!! but they can't be at the same
    time, right? you have to get the technique right or we would assume you only
    get credit for one official tap.

  • allanrich

    Attached a sausage (as it reacted with the capacitive screen) to an electric drill,
    Taped the Drill so it was locked in the on Position.
    Mounted and taped down the Iphone.
    And….boom! an electric tapping machine is a sausage interface

  • allanrich

    Attached a sausage (as it reacted with the capacitive screen) to an electric drill,
    Taped the Drill so it was locked in the on Position.
    Mounted and taped down the Iphone.
    And….boom! an electric tapping machine is a sausage interface

  • hey … is that eve legal? maybe that's what they mean about official vs
    unofficial taps … come on dude, you can't bang your sasauge and expect to
    credit for official tapps … or can you? hmmm … what would MacGyver do?
    😉

  • hey … is that eve legal? maybe that's what they mean about official vs
    unofficial taps … come on dude, you can't bang your sasauge and expect to
    credit for official tapps … or can you? hmmm … what would MacGyver do?
    😉

  • allanrich

    If you want to see version 2 of the Million Tap Challenge Cheat – using a motorised golf caddy and a sausage go to the youtube link

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51DzMox69Dg

  • allanrich

    If you want to see version 2 of the Million Tap Challenge Cheat – using a motorised golf caddy and a sausage go to the youtube link

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51DzMox69Dg

  • LMAO … WTF … no sure what's worse, tapping the damn iPhone for 3 days
    straight or building a hot dog cheating robot 😉

  • LMAO … WTF … no sure what's worse, tapping the damn iPhone for 3 days
    straight or building a hot dog cheating robot 😉

  • hey … is that eve legal? maybe that's what they mean about official vs
    unofficial taps … come on dude, you can't bang your sasauge and expect to
    credit for official tapps … or can you? hmmm … what would MacGyver do?
    😉

  • allanrich

    If you want to see version 2 of the Million Tap Challenge Cheat – using a motorised golf caddy and a sausage go to the youtube link

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51DzMox69Dg

  • LMAO … WTF … no sure what's worse, tapping the damn iPhone for 3 days
    straight or building a hot dog cheating robot 😉