Tiger Woods Scandal – The iPhone Plays An Integral Role

Yesterday the world’s first billion-dollar-athlete, Tiger Woods, issued a statement on his web site that pretty much confirmed what TMZ (and every other tabloid media) has been reporting since Thanksgiving … dude cheated on his wife.

Tiger-Woods-Blog

And while TMZ continues to run down every angle of the Tiger drama (Tiger’s wife confronted alleged mistress, Tiger leaves voicemail – “my wife is onto us”, 31-month affair, etc), we bring you the iPhone-side of the Woods saga.

The day started quite normal … Tiger woke up, kissed his wife good morning, took a leak, grabbed a cup of coffee and fired up a new iPhone app he downloaded last night …
Angel Or Devil? – the app which plans your day as being naughty or nice.

Angel-Or-Devil-Title

Tiger was feeling a bit mischievous that morning and selected the Devil Card. And so the devilish affair with Jaimee Grubbs began.

But Tiger’s wife, Elin, is no dumbass. She also owns an iPhone and when she began noticing suspicious behavior by her husband, she launched the sexist Is He Cheating? app to find out if Tiger was using his utility club on anyone else’s golf course (so to speak). Disturbingly the meter read … are you in denial?

ihc1

Is-He-Cheating-1

The rest of the story has been well documented. Tiger crashes his Cadillac Escalade … Elin smashes car window and rescues Tiger … Tiger ends up in the hospital …police investigations … and the aforementioned admission of wrongdoings.

So now it’s time for the Woods family to heal. And of course the iPhone is there to help through these troubled times. Tiger will use the Confess app to anonymously confess your sins to the world and makes his life better … as the app states, “it is a proven fact that confessing will make your life better.” Once finished with Confess, Tiger will “correct a wrong and gain forgiveness from a person who is wronged” with the Repentance app.

Confess-Title

Repentance-Title

Of course it ain’t that simple … per the Heaven And Hell app, Tiger has some more work to do. Start with the Singing Bowl And Prayer app and mix in the
A Good Deed A Day app (“helps you to become a better person” ) and Tiger will be back on the road to salvation (just don’t crash into a fire hydrant this time dude) in no time.

Heaven-Or-Hell

Singing-Bowl-Title

A-Good-Deed-A-Day

We know it won’t be easy, but it’s important for Elin to let go of those negative emotions she has towards Tiger. By letting go, she will regain peace, happiness and a strong loving relationship with her husband. This healing process should be constructive, healthy and safe … which is why the FaceFighter app is just what the doctor ordered … Elin will certainly heal better by beating the shit out of a virtual Tiger.

FaceFighter-Title

tiger-woods-facefighter-FIN

[that’s it … move along … nothing more to see here … we used FaceFighter as the punchline of this article … pun totally intended]

December 3, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, News 

Comments

  • drsb85

    Thats a lot of apps for Elin's sppedy healing ….
    (shouldnt there be something thrown in there for his daughter too ??? )

  • Good point … his children are indeed effected … bad daddy …
    thinking FaceFighter would be an appropriate app as well 😉

  • drsb85

    Thats a lot of apps for Elin's sppedy healing ….
    (shouldnt there be something thrown in there for his daughter too ??? )

  • Good point … his children are indeed effected … bad daddy …
    thinking FaceFighter would be an appropriate app as well 😉