Back in June, we published an article called “Further Proof Of Apple’s Idiotic Approval Process” which detailed the tribulations of accomplished Minipops artist Craig Robinson. Minipops … itsy bitsy teeny weenie pixilated renditions of famous people like Bill Cosby, Pope Benedict XVI, Tiger Woods, Beyonce, Fidel Castro, Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs and thousands more … they’ve all been minipopped (we just made that word up). Craig has three published Minipops books and his Obama Family Minipop will be included in an upcoming book about Michelle Obama. Craig Robinson is clearly a well respected individual in the art world – he does not suck.
So what happens when Craig turns his artwork into an iPhone app? … REJECTED! Why? … because Craig is an asshole … his app ridicules public figures and is in violation of Section 3.3.12 of the iPhone SDK Agreement which states, “applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind … that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable by iPhone users.” Apple even attached a few of the offending Minipops for reference … the “approved for Michelle Obama book, but not for iPhone” Minipop of the Obama Family – the Alanis Morissette nude with a revealing one-pixel of bush – the offensive half-naked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
So rather than screw with the integrity of his art by excluding a number of Minipops and re-submitting an incomplete representation of his work, a dejected Craig chose to move on with his life … leaving his Minipops app only in his dreams.
Flash-forward six months, Craig receives a surprising call from his techie buddy Matt …
Matt: dude, you know your minipops app?
Craig: minipops app? oh, that offensive thing … yeah, what about it?
Matt: apple approved it … it’s now available in the app store!
Craig: you’re a bitch … i told you i was not going to omit any of the rejected pics!
Matt: relax blowhard … i re-submitted minipops as-is … no changes!
Craig: then why did apple approve it this time?
Matt: no clue bro … no clue!
Sweet … 1,000 Minipops – killer UI – a “Guess Who?” game … and more. Currently on sale for only 99 cents [iTunes], Minipops is a solid deal, extremely entertaining and gives you the ability the carry a virtual pop art collection right on your iPhone … oh yeah … and plus you get that OFFENSIVE Obama family pic by asshole Craig.
So the moral of the story – if you submit an app for approval on a Tuesday and it’s rejected, simply re-submit unaltered on a Friday … chances are you will be approved. We know this advice sounds completely random, but so is Apple’s approval process.