Ahhh, it’s Christmas Eve. Santa is busy navigating his sleigh as he delivers presents to all the good little boys and girls. Children eagerly await his arrival, leaving the traditional fare of milk and cookies. The tree is trimmed, the stockings are hung, the fireplace is roaring … and soon, the classic “The Night Before Christmas” story will be read as the kids settle down for bed. Hmmm – kids going to bed … the best part of Christmas Eve (or any day for that matter) since it means alone time for mommy and daddy … YES!
So in efforts to keep the holiday spirit alive, while taking advantage of your Christmas Eve alone time … we have a suggestion – an app suggestion of course. Throw on the Snuggie, float an extra shot of rum in your eggnog, cuddle up with a loved one next to that roaring fireplace and launch the Santa Claus Conquers The Martians app.
Seriously, any douche can watch “Miracle On 34th Street”, “It’s A Wonderful Life” or “A Christmas Story” … but why be BORING? Santa Claus Conquers The Martians delivers 110% Christmas crap … just read these rave reviews:
“Like a car accident unfolding before your eyes, it’s impossible to look away” – RottenTomatoes.com
“There isn’t some other film more deserving of the title Worst Christmas Movie Ever” – StompTokyo.com
“Another charming part of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is its rock bottom production vales. All of the sets have a two-dimensional feel” – CoolCinemaTrash.com
Originally released in 1964, this cult hit has been beautifully reformatted and optimized by developer Jacob Schwartz so it plays seamlessly on your iPhone. For a mere 99 cents, you get 81 minutes of holiday horror … plus movie quotes, credits, a synopsis of the film and 11 movie-themed wallpapers. Oh, almost forgot … it also is the film debut of Pia Zadora (of Penthouse cover fame) and includes a reindeer named “Nixon” … too cool!
What a freaking bargain for oodles of tasteless holiday joy (and Pia Zadora), conveniently stored on your iPhone. Yeah, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians is literally a no-brainer purchase … or is it? Meh …enough already with the leg lamps and suicidal businessmen … start your own Christmas Eve tradition with Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.