Melt Away Your Snotcicles With The iPhone

Snotcicle-FINAL BRRR … it’s January … the middle of winter … and it’s freaking cold! (unless of course you’re in Australia, enjoying the awesome 80 degree summer weather … screw you) It’s so cold that Tiger Woods is sleeping with his own wife in order to keep warm … the inmates are begging for the electric chair … and our balls have become ovaries. Baby, it’s cold!

So besides setting your house on fire or getting a fever … what can you do to keep warm? Simple. Remember your $300 iPhone? Apple says it’s revolutionary … and it really is … because now with the help of two new apps, the iPhone can melt those snotcicles away.

iHandwarmer

iHandwarmer-Title

Genius! Developers know that the iPhone already heats up when running certain programs, so might as well build an app which simply uses 100% of the CPU and market it as a battery drainer … errr … hand warmer. Yes, you too can look like a complete idiot by tucking a couple of iPhones in your gloves during your next ski trip for the most expensive hand warmers ever. Then again, folks buy $300 True Religion jeans … who are we to mock a $300 hand warmer?

But while iHandwarmer sounds great … what if you need to crank out a bit more BTU’s? Like if you want to heat up your house or make toast. Then you got to go with the finest in iPhone cookers …

Pocket Heat

Pocket-Heat-Title

Pocket-Heat-Splash

Now that’s what we’re talking about … a freaking portable heater. TOASTY! Hey, if it’s so cold outside that the Chicken Ranch is charging 50 bucks just to blow on your hands … then buy Pocket Heat and put the $49 savings towards another menu item.

Oh wait … Pocket Heat is a half-gimmick / half-real app. It’s not an actual space heater. Well thank you Mister Obvious. What gave us away … the “I’m With Dumbshit” t-shirt our friend is wearing? You almost had us! The iPhone is a space heater … you funny Michael P. Austin … you funny. Next thing you know we’ll be reading headline news of how the iPhone saved some lost hikers from freezing to death.

January 4, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Utilities 

Comments

  • http://mcdevzone.com/ mike3k

    If you get a runny nose from the cold, there's iTissue (http://macmegasite.com/node/9133)

  • http://krapps.com KRAPPS

    not to be confused with the equally as important app … iTP … app
    for wiping your ass, comes in handy when camping

  • http://www.itito.co.nr iTito Designs

    Dude why apple is approving all this apps and rejecting the best ones? i want Tits and Boobies back.

  • http://krapps.com KRAPPS

    guess Tits and Boobies wasn't hot enough (oh that was a BAD joke!)

  • http://www.itito.co.nr iTito Designs

    Tits and Boobies will keep me warmer the this app and it doesn't drain my battery, by the way that joke was horrible…..LMAO

  • http://www.ubervu.com/conversations/krapps.com/2010/01/04/ihandwarmer-pocket-heat-iphone-app/ uberVU – social comments

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by King199259: RT @KRAPPS Melt Away Your Snotcicles With The iPhone http://bit.ly/6TVKgj...

  • vivianaranha

    Good News…. After changing the names – Apple has approved the apps again.

    Pussy Cat Lovers
    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/p-y-lovers/id346…

    Birds: Tits and Boobies
    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/t-s-and-boobies/…

  • vivianaranha

    Good News…. After changing the names – Apple has approved the apps again.

    Pussy Cat Lovers
    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/p-y-lovers/id346…

    Birds: Tits and Boobies
    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/t-s-and-boobies/…

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