Exclusive: Steve Jobs And Bill Gates Turn Guido!
Sure they may be among the most powerful and influential men in the business world, but Steve Jobs and Bill Gates cannot survive on work alone. Just like the rest of us, these guys need to blow off some serious steam. And while you might assume that Jobs and Gates partake in some stuffy relaxation ritual of sipping fine Chateau Latour from Riedel stemware while smoking Cohiba Esplendidos … we’re here to tell you that’s bullcrap.
Trusted sources have informed us that Jobs and Gates have transformed into Steve “Sleazy T” Jobs and Bill “Baby Oil” Gates … hanging with the Guidos and Guidettes of Jersey Shore. They are fist pumping, glow sticking and Jagermeistering with The Situation, Snooki and the rest of the Jersey Shore douchebags, club-style. And of course we have the exclusive bronzed pictures to prove it (including their matching soul patches).
LMAO … yo, gotta love photography apps for the iPhone … especially when they “unleash the Guido in you”. For a mere 99 cents, the Guidofy app will provide you with an authentic Italian-American Muscle Milk look. Choose from Fedora hats, Yankees caps, Vercase and Prada shades, Fohawk hair, gold chains, etc … over 50 options for Guidofying yourself. But best of all … bronzer functionality for that gorgeous fake and bake synthetic tan appeal.
And take a wild guess what Robert Pattinson does when he’s not busy drinking people’s blood? Or Conan O’Brien, when he’s on break from interviewing squirrels in his backyard? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!
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