Dog Translator App Does Not Translate Dog To English – No Shit Sherlock

Besides scouring the App Store for whacky, weird, stupid and strange iPhone applications, one of our favorite pastimes is reading the user reviews. The great Albert Einstein once said, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former." Looking at the user reviews in the App Store, we agree wholeheartedly with Einstein.

Take for example the silly little app Dog Translator which jokingly claims it translates Dog to English. Just record your dog barking and the app displays what your canine is saying.


Dog-Translator-1  Dog-Translator-2

Pretty weak, but whatever, we see worse on a daily basis. Plus it’s free – no harm, no foul.

But as lame as Dog Translator might seem to be, nothing beats its user reviews … pure suck. It’s like the app was infested by complete morons … proving Einstein’s theory of human stupidity was money.

Ratailmana is a disgruntled user claiming Dog Translator is the “Stupiest thing EVA” (yes, typing on the iPhone can be a bitch). Apparently he/she doesn’t really need a Dog to English translator because he/she can just tell what their dog is saying.


Emoji is also pissed at Dog Translator stating the app is not accurate. Emoji would know because secretly during the middle of the night, they recorded a silent sleeping dog and the app spit out the results. Little does Emoji know, dogs talk in their sleep … but at a very high pitch … only smart humans can hear them.  


Kkkkaaaayyyy is stupid mad as hell and feels Dog Translator “doesnt workkkk!!!!” Everyone knows the iPod Touch doesn’t have a microphone and thus recording a dog’s bark is impossible. Heck, Kkkkaaaayyyy feels double-duped since not only the iDevice has no mic, but also the dog wasn’t even in the room … yet Dog Translator returned a translation.


Now Tower Madness Hero is our hero because they are really on to something. Think about this … if Dog Translator really did translate from Dog to English, you could easily sell the thing for about $10. Damn, this is true … and what a bargain it would be.


And there’s plenty more backlash from Dog Translator users. “Ripoff”, “Scam” and “Fake” are a few of the popular descriptors … along with proof points such as … 

> My dog was licking his water bowl and it came up with “I’m tired” … junk
> It recorded me saying “hi” and translated it to “give me a tummy rub”
> The app just says random things over and over again

Now mind you, just in case someone is a SUPER moron, the app includes a disclaimer … “Dog Translator is intended for novel entertainment and may not accurately reflect your dog’s emotions at all times.” But really, what’s the point  – you can’t reason with stupid?

But alas there is a beacon of hope in this cesspool of dumb … either that or dude is a big fan of P.T. Barnum and the “there’s a sucker born every minute” concept. “You don’t deserve whatever money you have” … LMAO! 



  • Pingback: uberVU - social comments()

  • Some People don't read the fine print, it will always say that the app is for entertaiment purpose only.

  • diemer

    These must be the same people that bought Cellphone Tracker

  • LOL …. there's another “winner” 🙂

  • diemer

    These must be the same people that bought Cellphone Tracker

  • LOL …. there's another “winner” 🙂

  • Fiona vc

    i am so geting IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • doggerel

    tihs article is stupid, it dont translate dogs at all
    zero stars

  • excellent! mission accomplished! WOOF WOOF 🙂

  • MAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    this thing is so bloody stupid it doesn’t work at all i didn’t have the dog at the time my friend had the dog and this stupid device still work i am so mad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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