100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid App Advices Users To ‘Shit In Their Bed’

cuddle party Looking to hook up with some hottie and do the nasty like a rock star? No worries, you’re in luck. There are literally hundreds of apps to help you get laid … “Get Any Girl : The Ultimate Pickup Guide” … “How To Get Girls Into Bed Without Trying” … and even Vampire, Redneck or Robot Pickup Lines.

But what if you’re not looking to score? What if you wear one of those purity rings … or prefer a cuddle party to a naked party? Can the iPhone actually help you avoid having sex?

Good news for those aiming to become the next 40-year-old virgin … yesterday a new free application hit the App Store … 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid [iTunes Free].

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Actually if you think about it, 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid is quite the life saver …

On a shitty blind date? … what does the app suggest … “tell them you can suck your own member” … boom, no sex!

After undressing your potential bang buddy for the first time, you discover a third nipple … what does the app suggest … “shit in their bed” … boom, no sex!

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And of course other classic action plans like … “pull your tampon out. swing it around your head and yell ‘your goin’ down goliath!’” … and of course the fail-proof … “keep saying ‘I think that would fit up my butt’”.

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Yeah, 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid might not change the world … but if suddenly you come face-to-face with a one-eyed willy covered in disgusting warts (ewww), you’ll be sure glad you downloaded 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid and “shit in their bed”.

July 9, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment 

Comments

  • MT

    I'm sure the Jonas Brothers can put great use to this app.

  • HA! they are probably acting as the Ghost Developer behind the app 😉