Top 10 Steve Jobs Quotes From iPhone 4 Antennagate Press Conference

Presenting the top ten Steve Jobs quotes from last week’s damage control iPhone 4 Antennagate press conference …

We love our users.
If we are “users”, “druggies”, “addicts” or “crackheads” … does that make Steve a “dealer”, “pusher”, trapstar” or “slinger”? Bravo … excellent choice of words.


We love our users so much we’ve built 300 Apple retail stores for them.
What you really meant was “300 crackhouses”, right? But seriously dude … you love us so much that you would build Apple Stores … just for us? Nothing to do with a sales strategy or increasing revenue? Damn Steve, thank you … you’re swell!

I get a lot of email and my address is out there. I can’t reply to all of these emails — I have a day job. Some people post them on the web, which is kind of rude.
Does Steve really think his email responses will be kept private? If some geek receives a personal email from Jobs … logic dictates that said geek gets a hard-on and shares it with the world. Not to mention print, frame and hang it (the email, not hard-on). But even if we’re rude, we know you still love us … after all, you did build 300 Apple Stores just for us.

Q: How’s your health, Steve? How are you doing?
I’m fine! I was on vacation in Hawaii, but this was important enough to come back for.

Ok, who’s the kiss-ass asking this question … GRUBER? And LMAO … dude was in Hawaii on vacation. Sucks to be the short-straw guy placing that call, “Yes Mr. Jobs … you heard me correctly … things are a total clusterfuck right now and we have no other option than to puppet you in front of the media for damage control back here in Cupertino.” See Steve pissed … pissed Steve, pissed!


Websites buy stolen prototypes and put ‘em on the web and we don’t care for that.
Three months later, still whining about Gizmodo? Geez, turn the page, shit happens. Doesn’t the CEO of the most powerful technology company have something better to worry about than Gawker Media?

And we didn’t bash down any doors! [referencing police breaking down the door of Gizmodo editor Jason Chen’s home during a raid] 
Oh look, we went to an Apple iPhone 4 press conference and a Gizmodo shitfest broke out.


[referencing the ‘Antennagate’ press conference] I wish we could have done this in the first 48 hours, but then you wouldn’t have had so much to write about.
Haha. Yeah, that’s Steve multi-tasking like the new iOS 4 … cracking a joke while back-handing the media. Funny guy … sure to take Letterman’s time slot soon.

Looking at the data, we don’t think we have a problem … there is no ‘Antennagate’.
Don’t have a problem? Your revolutionary iPhone 4 only works properly with a case on it. Says to your girlfriend, “Oh, I forgot to tell you, I have syphilis. But don’t worry, I’ve got condoms. On me. No charge.”


It doesn’t seem like a good thing if you can touch your phone in a certain way and it loses signal.
Really?!? No shit Mister Obvious! Wait, what … are you saying there is a problem? But didn’t you just say “we don’t think we have a problem”? So you do have a problem? No … wait … what were we talking about again?

We’re not perfect.
Although nothing really revolutionary or magical about it … Best. Steve Jobs Quote. Ever! (see Steve pissed … pissed Steve, pissed)



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  • Anonymous

    I still think one of his best comments ever is when he annonced non voting stocks for microsoft just so he could save apple in exchange for shipping every mac with internet explorer. the crowd booed but he quickly responded with one of the most contradicting things hes ever said that goes against everything he stands for today:

    ‘….but because we believe in choice…’

    If he believed in choice, he would give consumers the choice to have a mac use more video cards, not limited to 4, the choice to remove a battery from a portable device without voiding warranty, the choice to use xvid, divx, or x264 on media players, the choice to have or NOT have Flash on a phones browser, the choice not to use itunes to transfer music to my mp3 player, etc. I could go on for days. Theres no choice in the apple world. Its Steve Jobs’ way, or the highway.