LOL … oh my! Remember … Apple approves it – we just write about it. EAR MUFFS!
Ok, so we’re not really sure what’s going on at Apple, but it looks like Steve Jobs and company are positioning the revolutionary iPhone as your personal sex therapist. Although “overtly sexual” applications have been banned from the App Store … make no mistake about it, there is no shortage of sexual apps – for educational purposes, of course.
Apple’s latest foray into the world of sex ed deals with oral pleasures … the female kind. Well we think it should be described as the female kind … cuz it’s the woman in the “catcher” position, as the man “pitches” (follow? sorry … baseball is our life).
Hooray … finally, the Apple endorsed C*********s 101 iPhone app … with its oh so clever icon (WTF is that … a tongue?). Although our censors forbid us to include the letters
“u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u” in between “C” and “S”, you can probably figure out the subject matter of this application by viewing the permitted screenshots below (not that the Dog Lap is a rookie move!).
The developers make it clear that C*********s 101 is not XXX, porn or NC-17 … rather the app teaches a beautiful art …
Want to master the beautiful art of c*********s? You can now learn everything you ever wanted to know about pleasuring the v****a with your mouth.
This is the most comprehensive book ever made on woman focused oral sex, including 50 mild to wild techniques to try on your lover. This book is the master collection of years of research into various techniques, movements, patterns, speeds, directions, pressure points, and general combinations as it relates to her most feminine of openings.
Study this application, set the mood, and then try any quantity or combination of the 50 steps to really light her fire.
Hmmm … creepy! Look, we have no problem turning to Apple for cutting edge magical technology … but uncle Jobs is like a hundred and twelve – all gray and old. It just weirds us out knowing his company sells an oral sex coaching aid … ewww.
But as a penis carrying member of the male species, our real beef with Apple’s sex therapy strategy is the fact there is no F******o 101 for iPhone. MEH … female chauvinist pigs!