Bad Timing

Title: DoucheMeter
Category: Entertainment

update: all DoucheMeter download codes have been claimed – thank you

There has been an unfortunate circumstance in the world of  KRAPPS. Seems the little KRAPPS are getting pushed around by the big bad KRAPPS. Who are these big bad KRAPPS? …. Farts I tell ya! These farts are completely out of control. New farts arriving daily for almost two months now. Fart apps everywhere … and everybody is iFarting. I swear, I’m waiting for Oprah to start jabbering about her iFart guilty pleasure. Farts – Farts – Farts … ENOUGH! Let the little but equally as talented KRAPPS get a piece of the spotlight.

DoucheMeter Screen1 Which brings us to our under appreciated and unsung krapp called DoucheMeter.

I know what you thinking, “does it fart?” … NO – it doesn’t fart … BUT … it detects whether or not a person in a douchebag. Yup, sure does. It has this meter thingy and when someone touches it, the nifty gauge swings wildly and ticks … then after its analysis, pops out the final verdit: douchebag or not a douchebag. Bravo DoucheMeter… amazing stuff … KRAPPS Of Fame material here! DoucheMeter Cartoon

So with such a brilliant piece of krap, why is Toby the DoucheMeter developer so sad? Well Toby knew he was on to something. As Toby describes, “As well as detecting Douchebaggery, the text on the DoucheMeter can be configured to display anything you want: Cool-Meter, Babe-Meter, Rad-O-Meter” … oh that clever Toby, he struck gold and was ready to quit his day job. So again, why so sad? … Farts I tell ya! If it wasn’t for these damn big bad farts, Toby would be … the King of KRAPPS … the one on Oprah … releasing the box office smash Douchebag Millionaire … and producing the hit TV series The Real Douchebags Of Orange County. But alas, Toby’s efforts were all for not – just a case of bad timing … or really perhaps a case of bad gas?

Real-Douchebags

Free DoucheMeter app to KRAPPS viewers!
Sad Toby was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download DoucheMeter for FREE. Simply fill in the rest of the message below and tweet on Twitter. Basically we’d like you to share the love and recommend a cool Twitter user you follow (sort of like #followfriday) so we and others can check them out …

Follow @KRAPPS for iPhone humor & @

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code

January 28, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 1 Comment 

The Fight Against KRAPPS

Title: iFight
Category: Entertainment

update: all iFight download codes have been claimed – thank you

iFightiPhoneGIF350 Afrim Kacaj is a common man. He has a Ying – He has a Yang (we’ll talk ying here and cover his yang in another article – no pun intended). Afrim lives in New York City, has a job, pays taxes, gets a haircut and like most iPhone users … thinks there are too many KRAPPS in the App Store. But unlike the common iPhone user, Afrim decided to take matters into his own hands and lead the fight against KRAPPS. He cleverly released the iFight app along with the slogan, “fight against the fart apps”.

So how exactly is iFight battling KRAPPS? I’ll let Afrim explain:

Did a friend just lay an iFart? Unleash the whip on them with iFight. Another friend drinking a virtual beer with his iPhone? Give him a slap with iFight for being stupid. The possibilities are endless. Made in New York City!

Uh, note to self … don’t piss off Afrim. However somebody has got to break the news to him … you can’t fight KRAPPS with KRAPPS – releasing a KRAPPS to fight KRAPPS is well, KRAPPS … simply put, two wrongs don’t make a right. Ok, I’m out … gotta bail before Afrim bitch slaps me with his iPhone. But I’ll leave you with this iFight combat training video:

… shhhhhh, be very quite – I’m hiding from Afrim. Just snuck back to quickly smack Apple upside the head with my iFight app. Ok, I get “copy apps”: over 48 fart apps, endless tic-tac-toe apps, flashlights, tip calculators, etc. But damn, this is really going to piss off Afrim … Apple approved the iFight! app … yeah, look closely … WTF Apple … a single exclamation point is enough of a “non-duplicate” difference? Weak!

ifight-copy-app

Free iFight app to KRAPPS viewers!

Afrim was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download iFight for FREE. Be one of the first 5 readers to tweet on Twitter:

got iPhone? follow and visit @KRAPPS. outing whacky, weird, stupid & strange apps for your entertainment > http://KRAPPS.com

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

Second Chance Offer – once all 5 codes have been claimed, we will announce on Twitter details for part 2 of this giveaway … stay tuned at Twitter.

January 21, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 10 Comments 

More Boobies

We never thought it would become a habit to write about iPhone boobs, but we call ‘em like we see ‘em. As reported yesterday’s Boobies, Farts & Flashlights article, an iPhone breast jiggling simulator was released … Wobble.

ijiggles-icon Similar to the deluge of fart apps, another boobie app has appeared … iJiggles. Is this a sign of things to come? Like farts, will boobies be the new flavor of the month and flood the App Store? Who knows … but I find it very clever that developers positioned these apps as “photo distortion software” in efforts to circumvent Apple’s acceptance guidelines. But come on … we all know that boys will be boys and there really is only one use for Wobble and iJiggles … bouncing boobs.

Also interesting are the two versions of iJiggles screenshots … the G-rated cute baby version … and the PG-13 girl hold watermelons version.

ijiggle-screen-1v2        iJiggles-scree-PG13

Special thanks to YouTube member eugene4023 for informing us of his demonstration videos below … when watching, remember … boys will be boys.

 

 

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January 18, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 2 Comments 

Boobies, Farts & Flashlights

January 16, 2009 was an interesting day in “App Land”. Two significant events took place that had app geeks buzzing … and could you really blame us app geeks for getting all hot and bothered? Come on – we’re talking about BOOBIES & FARTS – oh yeah, flashlights too.

BOOBIES
Wobble Icon Recently an application called iBoobs was rejected by Apple on the grounds of “objectionable content”. This app allows users to jiggle a pair of women’s breasts. Click here for a demonstration on YouTube (it’s actually rather boring). The rejection was no surprise. The real surprise was the launch of Wobble. Reading the app’s description, Wobble is innocent enough:

Wobble is the only application that can make ANY part of your photo wobble like jelly. Bring photos to life and make parts of them bounce in realistic 3D.

Hmmm – ok – interesting. But of course sex sells and the developers know it, thus the demonstration video below (this one is actually not so boring):


FARTS & FLASHLIGHTS
Tweetie is a full-featured iPhone Twitter client. It’s a solid app that is 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified. So why are we spotlighting Tweetie? Well, Tweetie received an update … an extensive update: instapaper integration, landscape keyboard, link to StockTwits, ability to email @ or direct messages (which is really cool) and more. One of the subtle twitterfartv2GIF improvements (I use the term loosely) is the Popularity EnhancEr (PEE) – which means that in addition to a full-featured Twitter client, Tweetie is now a FART app, as well as a flashlight app … talk about value-added! Click here to read the developer’s explanation of PEE and why they decided to integrate Tweetie with fart and flashlight functionality (it’s actually a very funny read).

Yeah, pretty big deal as this is the first time fart functionality lingered (no pun intended) into a non-fart dedicated app … oh and almost forgot – flashlight too … gives a whole new meaning to “lighting one up”. Well this Tweetie PEE will probably blow up sales and race to the #1 spot – thus encouraging copy apps. I can see Shazam PEE, not only will Shazam recognize music, but correctly identify farts – kazoo, ripper, wet one, etc. Makes sense that the Zippo Lighter app should ignite farts. And of course the Air Sharing file storage app is just a no-brainer for a fart upgrade.

January 17, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, News, Social | 6 Comments 

Doesn’t Work – Made Me Puke

Title: BeerCounter
Category: Entertainment

BeerCounterDesc Introducing the greatest iPhone app of all time => BeerCounter! Yes, with this amazing app you will be able to keep track of the number beers you have consumed! 

But wait … that’s not all. There is a date/time setting which will display the date and time of your binge! And there is a value function – displays the total dollar amount of your gorge! 

To ensure top-notch, user-friendliness … just touch your iPhone’s screen (it’s big enough so even if you are on beer #17 you can continue using BeerCounter) and the next sequential digit will appear.

Everyone will agree, this app is AMAZING – just read actual App Store user reviews:

“I love this app … while my friends have to use paper and pencil to keep track, I just have to tap my iPhone”

 

“Great app … officer I swear I’ve only had 4 beers! Check my iPhone”

 

“Doesn’t work … I got this app thinking it would count my glasses of wine, but all it does is count beer … the app lost count and I ended up puking”

 

“This is an app? Why?”

 

“The creator of this app should pay people to download it”

 

“iPhone apps are getting dumber by the day”

And stay tuned … more great apps coming soon from developer Softwaretechnik: sleeping-aid, SheepCounter … for rhythm method users, KidCounter … for the player, GirlfriendCounter … for the Bill Gates wannabe, MoneyCounter … for Wilt Chamberlain wannabe, ShagCounter. 

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January 15, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 1 Comment 

Taxi Me

Title: Taxi Hold’em
Category: Entertainment

hailingcabsmall Have you ever hailed a cab? Yes, I know, I know … I feel ya … what a pain in the ass … just a total nightmare having to wave your arm at an approaching taxi to make it stop … honestly, I’d rather go to the dentist or drive a nail through my head than attempt to stop a cab. It’s brutal and most of us simply cannot get the hang of this whole hail a cab thing.

Taxi-Holdem-Hand Well I’m here to deliver good news – rejoice – the Taxi Hold’em app has arrived! For a mere 99 cents, you’ll have those rotten cab drivers come to a screeching halt every time they see you display your Taxi Hold’em app. And I’ll let you in on a little secret … the Taxi Hold’em app has magical superpowers … oh hell yeah … push a button, flash your iPhone and you’ll be entering taxi stopping nirvana. Rumor has it that the Taxi Hold’em app is so powerful that it will stop all taxis within a one mile radius (supposedly the $2.99 version covers a three mile range). And get this … when a driver picks you up while using this app, you’ll receive VIP treatment … don’t believe, just read below what Dave The Cabbie says on the developer’s web site:

Taxi-Holdem-Web 
But with any great app, there are possible hazards (epilepsy and getting run over by a cab) … so before using Taxi Hold’em, carefully read the disclaimer on the developer’s web site.

Taxi-Holdem-Web2 
Finally, I must caution you … this powerful app is very complex. All sorts of techno KRAPPS going on with Taxi Hold’em … transition settings, pace options, audio selections, etc. Fortunately for all of us, the developers have released what they call “The OFFICIAL Taxi Hold’em Instruction Video” … good thing, because this app was really starting to confuse the KRAPPS out of me. So on that note, streaming directly from the developer’s web site, we  leave you with “The OFFICIAL Taxi Hold’em Instruction Video” …BeerMe

(ps – I can actually see a similar useful app called “Beer Me” … great for crowded bars, jam-packed parties or sellout ballgames/concerts. And no, a pickup line version inspired by the movie Cocktail is not a good idea.)

January 14, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 18 Comments 

The Toothless One Speaks

w1.2 Per Wikipedia, flatulence humor has long been considered funny in cultures that believe the public passing of gas is impolite. The earliest recorded fart jokes appeared in the 5th century play “The Knights” by Aristophanes. Both Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain dropped fart funnies in their written work. Even the Whoopee Cushion, which was invented in 1930, has historic significance as it evolved from a simple rubber noisemaker to a self-inflating and remote-controlled device in the 1990s … which bring us to now, 2009 … The Year Of The iPhone Fart.

stinkyiPhone iPhone fart apps have been the hot topic lately. Blogs, discussion forums, Twitter, newspapers and even television … everyone is buzzing about iPhone farts. It all started December 12, 2008, when the first 4 fart apps were released: iFart Mobile, iPooted, Fart Machine and Pull My Finger. Since then, fart apps have been hitting the App Store at a furious pace – approximately 3 new fart apps appear each day. To date, there are approximately 48 iPhone farting applications. When will fart apps finally run out of gas (no pun intended)? – who knows – but one thing is certain … love ‘em or hate ‘em … iPhone farts are here to stay.

Random Observations …

> iFart Mobile is the overall #1 paid app
> Similar iFart Mobile copy-apps: iFart, my iFart and uFart
> WhoopieCushion is the top free fart app and is ranked #15 amongst all free apps
> Too many WhoopieCushion copy-apps: iWhoopee, iWhoopi, iWhoopie, iWoopi Cushion, iWhoopieCushion, Whoopie Cushion, Whoopee Cushion and Whoopee!!
> Creative titles: Mr. Poot!, Cheese Cutter, Gas Master and Excuse Me
> Expanded functionality: record your fart and email farts 
> Fart games are now starting to appear: Fart Bubbles and Name That Fart
> What’s Next predictions: Rock Paper Fart, Tic-Tac-Fart, Fart Lighter, GPS Fart Locator

And finally … a visual tribute to the first 48 fart apps …

farts_JPG010509x600

January 7, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 32 Comments 

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