Recap: Week Of March 29 – plus Happy Easter To All Our Peeps!

Happy Easter To All Our Peeps!

And of course to celebrate this glorious occasion … Apple-themed Peeps. An oldie, but a goodie … from last year’s third annual Washington Post Peeps Diorama Contest, “Steve Jobs Presents iPeep Nano” (entry #38 by by Sarah Kohari and Erin Mastrangelo). We love it … simply brilliant. Happy Easter everyone! 

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And as usual on Sundays … in case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

March 29: PooPong For iPhone? Of Course There Is!

March 30: Apple Recognizes Need To Get Your Freak On – Nudity In The App Store

March 31: Experience ‘Tsunamical Movements Of Sweet Apples’ With Mythical Sex Positions App

April 1: iCade Turns Your iPad Into A Retrogaming Arcade Cabinet – For “Reals”

April 2: 7-Piece LEGO iPhone Stand – Even Appeals To Mechanically Challenged

April 3: Steve Wozniak Waiting Overnight In Line For An iPad [includes pictures]

April 4: Don’t Make These Birds Angry, Mr. McGee – Angry Birds For iPhone

April 4, 2010 | Filed Under Recap | 2 Comments 

Don’t Make These Birds Angry, Mr. McGee – Angry Birds For iPhone

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

It’s a war between the birds and the pigs in the action-puzzle game Angry Birds [iTunes $0.99] by Chillingo / Rovio. See, the pigs got all greedy and stole some eggs, then retreated to their fortified shelters. The birds, not ones to take such things lightly, have mobilized an impressive avian army to retaliate.

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Utilizing a challenging two-screen view, the player must fire a series of birds from a slingshot with the goal of eliminating all of the pigs before advancing to the next level. The pigs are dispatched by either hitting them directly with a bird, by causing them to fall or by causing a rock to fall on them. Each bird, knowing this is a one way trip, has also loaded up on black powder causing them to explode after a set amount of time. This can be used to advantage in combination with elements on some of the screens – rest a bird against some explosives and they can cause further damage.

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As you progress through the levels, you pick up new bird types too. You start off with the hard-headed red birds, capable of knocking down any obstacle the pigs can put up. Next up is the smaller blue bird which has the added ability to split like a MIRV while in the air. Time it just right and this terrible trio can take out multiple targets with the same shot. I just cleared level 12 (while grabbing screenshots) and can’t wait to find out what other specialized birds are yet to come.

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Some of the levels are easy and some are dastardly difficult. The smug grunts of the pigs are easily enough to make me want to re-try until I’ve conquered them! The game play is ultra smooth and the projectile physics are very well implemented. Each bird has different flight characteristics which have to be accounted for; luckily they leave a trail so you can make minor adjustments on subsequent shots if necessary. Since you get bonus points for finishing the level before running out of birds, it’s important not to waste too many shots (even though I ultimately cleared level 12 with birds to spare, I probably played it a dozen times before that where I left a single pig alive).

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An online leaderboard and achievement posting to Facebook/Twitter is provided via Chillingo’s own Crystal system. If you have an iPad (this post was written the day before the big launch), there is a new release of this app specifically for the new device. I, for one, can’t wait to see how it looks.

 

April 4, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 1 Comment 

Steve Wozniak Waiting Overnight In Line For An iPad [includes pictures]

woz-karina-F Ever since appearing on Dancing With The Stars, we have a new found respect for Steve Wozniak. Screw the co-founded Apple thing … or the US Festival … or contributing to the personal computer revolution … The Woz danced the Tango in competition with a pulled hamstring and a fracture in his foot – that shit is IMPRESSIVE!

Aside from having the balls to compete in something totally out of his element on national television, what we also really love about Steve Woz is that he’s totally cool, likeable and approachable – which is very refreshing since so many peeps of fame these days are arrogant pricks. Take for instance the present moment … Friday night – April 2, 2010 … Where’s Woz? He’s camped outside the Apple Store inside the Valley Fair Mall in Santa Clara, CA. Woz will be there all night … just like the other hardcore MacHeads … waiting to become a day one proud owner of the iPad when they go on sale Saturday at 9:00AM PST.

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We’re sure Woz could’ve used his “in the biz” connections to secure his iPad … but dude doesn’t roll like that. In a recent Newsweek interview, Woz stated that he pre-ordered a few iPads and will be waiting in line overnight to pick them up … just for fun. LOL … that is sick. A technology industry rock star, just chillin’ in line with the general public, waiting to become an early adopter … gotta love it!

The Woz showed up to wait in line around 6:00PM PST … greeting his fans, signing autographs, showcasing his $2 bills and playing his favorite video game, Tetris, on a Nintendo Game Boy (what, no Tetris iPhone app?).

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Wearing his special necklace which reminds him that he follows all laws of physics, Woz is comfortably seated #4 in line, after Jason and Annette Slack-Moehrle and Parth Dhebar (who runs an iPhone/iPad app review site, Simple-Reviews.com, be sure to check it out).

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Woz claims he will be pulling an all-nighter and skip any type of shut-eye (see, told you he was a badass). Since sleep is overrated when waiting in an overnight iPad line … help will be arriving at 4:00AM PST. Mr. Dhebar has arranged for coffee and doughnuts to be delivered to all the folks waiting in line … atta boy Parth, save us a maple bar!

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Oh … and thank you Woz for the too cool autograph! We’ll be framing that puppy and hanging it over the mantel at Casa de KRAPPS. We owe you big time, so if you ever want to upgrade your wardrobe, drop us a line and we’ll hook you up with da kine KRAPPS T-Shirt.

Good luck to all you crazy overnighting, early-adopting, iPad-waiting MacHeads … come 10:00AM PST, put the damn iPad down and GET SOME SLEEP!

April 3, 2010 | Filed Under News | 5 Comments 

iCade Turns Your iPad Into A Retrogaming Arcade Cabinet – For “Reals”

Ok, so Steve Job’s love child … the iPad … is launching in two days. We’ll admit, we’re getting pretty excited and will be doing the “overnight camping out in line” thing to ensure we are iPad owners from Day 1. However, it wasn’t until today that we got fully pumped for the iPad … reason why … the folks at ThinkGeek have just announced a new iPad accessory and application that will become available April 3 (iPad launch day) …

iCade – The iPad Arcade Cabinet

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How freaking brilliant is this? For only $149.99 (cost of the cabinet – app is free), you can turn your iPad into a mini arcade cabinet … or as ThinkGeek puts it …  

How cool would it be to slide your iPad into a desktop-sized arcade cabinet and rock it old school with some Pac-Man or Space Invaders?

More arousing details from ThinkGeek …

To use the iCade, gently slide the iPad into the docking cradle. The docking cradle uses a standard 30 pin connector to link the iPad to the professional-grade arcade controls. Once the iPad is in place, launch the iCade App (available free in the App Store April 3rd) and it’s game on!

Screw eBooks and HD videogames … iCade is the real only reason to buy an iPad. Simply put … it doesn’t get any more awesome than this!

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For more details, including product specifications, and to order your very own iCade, visit the iCade page at ThinkGeek.

Hey … just keeping it “REAL”. Don’t shoot the messenger. If you need to FFFFUUUU someone, then FFFFUUUU ThinkGeek.

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April 1, 2010 | Filed Under Games, News | 8 Comments 

Apple Recognizes Need To Get Your Freak On – Nudity In The App Store

As we began reporting back in June 2009, Apple has a zero-tolerance policy for porn and nudity on the App Store. Any application found with revealing nipple or crotch-shots, have been nailed with Apple’s ban hammer : 

06/25/09 – Hottest Girls … 07/01/09 – BeautyMeter … 07/30/09 – theXchange … 08/21/09 – Check myHottie … 09/15/09 – My X Girlfriend … 01/21/10 – forChan

Currently it’s not just pornography and nudes that are not tolerated … all overtly sexual applications are not permitted on the App Store. Well, except for Playboy, Sports Illustrated, FHM, Maxim and some others … long (idiotic) story, click here to read more details.

However, if you still insist on viewing those nipple and crotch-shots (and refuse to use the Safari app) … we have good news! If you look hard enough, nudity can indeed be found on the App Store … been there for over a year and a half. For your nipple-viewing pleasure,
Art Envi, has been for sale since August 2008.

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Of course Art Envi is not the only Apple-approved skin app … the Art app contains nudity as well and a lot more of it. Hell, the developer is so naked-friendly, he even created an option enabling the user to show only nude images … eliminating clutter within the application.

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Here’s another one that screams BOOBIES … the Artistic Nudes apps (we love the disclaimer … naked dead people, huh?).

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And if simple nipple viewing is not enough … there are four interactive slider puzzles that might provide a thrill … Fabulous Nude Paintings Puzzle – Classic Nude Paintings Puzzle – Bathing Nudes Paintings Puzzle – Modigliani Nudes Puzzle.

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So you see … it’s not all puritan in the App Store. Apple does recognize the need to get your freak on. Grant it, these are famous 20th Century paintings … but hey, at least we know Apple has a soft spot for artistic nudes and there’s a method to their madness … leveraging the sex sells methodology to promote fine art to the masses.

March 30, 2010 | Filed Under Education, Games, News | 4 Comments 

aPad – A Sensible Alternative To The iPad

Can’t wait for an iPad? Don’t have $500 to drop on one? No worries … there’s an app for that (of course there is)! No Tie Software, same folks who make the uncensored AutoRingtone TEXT-TO-SPEECH ringtone application, have unleashed a very nostalgic app … aPad of Paper [iTunes].

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aPad lets you download PDF-format "pads" suitable for printing, with different paper types. Go old school with Parchment or send your kid to class with a pad of Lined paper. There’s even Graph paper for the hardcore geek types.

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Spoiler alert! The "battery indicator" is a tree log … after all, aPads do indeed grow on trees!

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The aPad offers many things Apple’s iPad does not. Unlimited battery life … survives a 6 foot drop … outstanding aerodynamic properties (when folded properly). Plus something rare on the App Store … all the porn you want … as long as you can draw it. And it’s as thin as a sheet of paper – because that’s what it is!

So be a hit at the next office meeting when you whip out your own aPad! Anyone can buy an iPad but the aPad is so exclusive, you can’t buy it. Because it’s FREE!

March 15, 2010 | Filed Under Utilities | 1 Comment 

Recap: Week Of January 25 – plus Non-Feminine Hygiene iPad Humor

krapps-ipad-lockscreen1 What? Oh that, the thing on the right? That’s our new iPad Lockscreen … we only use it once a month <sorry … couldn’t resist>.

In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

January 25: A Collection Of Ridiculous iPhone Boob Apps

January 26: Augmented Reality For Pizza – Seriously, Why?

January 27: Knife Dancing – First App To Offer “Buy One Get One Free” Code

January 27: iPad Is NOT Revolutionary! We Have The Picture To Prove It!

January 28: Girls, Toilet Paper And Batteries – Apps That Leave Us Confuzzled

January 29: OMG, This Screenshot Frightens Us, YEEEOW!

January 30: Apple Reverses Policy, Begins Removing Smut

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So as we implied above, this was a big week for feminine hygiene, courtesy of Apple’s new revolutionary product … iPad. The Internet has been flowing with iPad/iTampon jokes. So for a breath of fresh air, we present a couple of iPad items … totally unrelated to a woman’s menstrual cycle.

From Metin Seven at Sevens Heaven … his original “iPhad” illustration demonstrates just how easy it is to turn your iPhone into a full-fledged iPad … although the iPhone is still more capable as it includes a camera and the ability to make voice calls.

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And from the Funny or Die website, comedian Peter Serafinowicz (yes that’s a long last name – 12 letters) introduces the really really really revolutionary iPad.

January 31, 2010 | Filed Under Recap | Leave a Comment 

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