App Lets Users Send Erections As Gifts (not kidding!)

Last week we covered an app that fixes erectile dysfunction by emitting sound waves from your iPhone. The Fire Up Your Sex Drive app claims that if you listen to these sound waves for 6 minutes a day, then after 20 days your male sexuality will be enhanced by more than 85%.

And if you think Fire Up Your Sex Drive app is complete bullshit, then you better not step in this next pile of crap … the Mobile-Gra Gift Sender.

mg1

mg2

The premise of Mobile-Gra … and no, we are not f*ckin with you … is to send (via the app) your male friends the gift of a healthy erection. Per Mobile-Gra’s description …

This application consists of sounds that can improve male’s sexuality. You can send this gift to your friends who would like to be a "stronger man”.

And there it is again … sound waves … it’s all about those damn sound waves. Mobile-Gra continues by explaining the effects that certain sounds have on your penis …

“Mobile-gra” sound is created by natural sounds, subliminal sounds, binaural beat sounds, using “Erection in sleep theory”.

Got that? In case you missed it, let us repeat … Erection In Sleep Theory. We have no clue what erection in sleep theory is … our attempted Google search resulted in massive amounts of gay porn sites, so we’re still clueless about this alleged theory.

Finally, in case you’re having trouble figuring out exactly how and when to use the Mobile-Gra gift giving service, the app includes a few suggestions … give an erection as a wedding present to the groom (and bride) – friend going on a date, send him a big boner. Hell, you going on a date? … listen to this thing and super-size your dick! 

While listening to“mobile-gra sound”, you will be able to feel the comfort, and the nature. After listening the sound, you will be able to feel your male’s sexuality has been increased.

mg3  mg4

Amazing stuff this iPhone … after listening to Mobile-Gra’s sounds, you will feel your penis has been increased … WONDERFUL!

July 2, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 4 Comments 

Make Rice Boobs With Rice Implants App

rice-boobs-2 Besides the ability to download cool (and sucky) iPhone applications, the App Store is a wonderful source of knowledge. It’s kind of like reading the dictionary for shits and giggles  … we continually learn new things and increase our knowledge … just by checking out 250,000+ applications Apple has approved.

Take for example the Rice Implants app … at first we were like WTF and new type of breast implant made out of rice? We thought silicone and saline were the only choices in breast enhancements.

So then we read the app’s description … and we were still like WTF …

Rice-Implants-Title

Apparently if you’re considering bigger boobs (or moobs, whatever), you can do this … fill up some pantyhose with rice and stick it under a sports bra. This "rice implant” will simulate having bigger boobs … thus allowing the woman to choose a perfect size breast (sort of like try before you buy).

But this whole filling up the pantyhose with rice can be a cumbersome and inaccurate process. That’s where the Rice Implants app works its magic … it will calculate the amount of rice needed to replicate a boob size in terms of “cc” values.

ri3

Rice boobs?!? Laugh all you want but choosing a breast size can be very distressing.  Some women worry about going too big, while others worry about not going big enough. So as you can see … the Rice Implants app is a godsend and we’re not quite sure how the App Store survived without it.

Actually to be honest, we’re not quite sure how we got through life without any knowledge of rice boobs.

July 1, 2010 | Filed Under Health | 4 Comments 

Nudity, Blood, Violence & Murder – Crazy Bitch Soccer Fans Love Super Streaker

Ever hear of this character, Ronaldo? He’s one of those uber-cool pricks who is commonly known by one name. Dude plays for the Spanish soccer club Real Madrid and is the highest paid soccer player in the world … $16.5 million per year. Not to mention the bastard is drop dead gorgeous, every chick digs him and he even has his own iPhone game, Ronaldo Soccerade Freestyle.

Screw pretty rich boy and his iPhone game … we have our own game. We’re going to run onto the field during the World Cup and start beating all the players over the head with a golf club. We’ll pound those stupid soccer pukes so hard they’ll all die … and the best part, we’ll be butt naked during our mass murder … YEAH!

soccer-kill-iphone

Sounds psycho? Why sure … but it’s ok … this is an Apple approved gaming activity called Super Streaker Pro.

Super-Streaker-Pro-title

Super-Streaker-Pro-1

LMAO … now this is a lovely game! Carrying on the fine tradition of crazy bitch soccer fans (throwing urine bags, being shitfaced, starting fights, etc.), Super Streaker is a third person 3D shooting game where the player runs onto a soccer field killing World Cup players. You can either bash their brains out with a golf club, slice them up with a beer bottle, nuke ‘em with an A bomb or choose other weapons of destruction. Oh … and the best part … all this mass murders is done in the nude.

Super-Streaker-Pro-2

Super-Streaker-Pro-3

And please, don’t even think these are random generic slayings … oh no! Super Streaker allows the racist inside you to really come alive … kill Americans, Mexicans, Koreans, Italians or other nations participating in World Cup 2010.

Super-Streaker-Pro-4

If Super Streaker sounds over-the-top .. it is … a lot! Blood, guts, violence, gore … with a big dose of bare ass, just to be sure maximum shock value is achieved. But look … don’t even get offended by the graphic nature of Super Streaker … Apple has our back, protecting us from looking at girls in bikinis. And come on, what’s wrong with a little homicide … it’s fun to imitate this real life headline, “Fan Kills Iraqi Soccer Player As He Kicks Potential Tying Goal.” *facepalm* 

 

June 30, 2010 | Filed Under Games | Leave a Comment 

Monkey Boy – The Legend Continues

Deep in the bowels of an Apple Store, inside some random suburban shopping mall, a mysterious legend known as Monkey Boy is up to something befitting his name.

A Monkey Boy sighting – the legend continues …

monkey-boy-iphone

(via Tabloid Prodigy)

June 29, 2010 | Filed Under News | 4 Comments 

Best Part Of iOS 4 …

Multitasking, folders, unified inbox, home screen wallpaper, etc. … MEH … the best part of iOS 4 are stupid iPhone tricks – Stretchy Heads …

iOS-4-iPhone-Funny

(more stupid iPhone tricks at Mike Monteiro)

June 28, 2010 | Filed Under News | 4 Comments 

Flipping The Bird Around The World – plus Recap: Week Of June 21

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

June 21: iPhone 4 And iPad Commercials – If Apple Cut The Bullshit [Videos]

June 22: Action Sex Positions – A Guide For Having Sex While Driving A Motorcycle & More

June 23: New App Can Fix Erectile Dysfunction (Why, God, Why)

June 23: Steve Wozniak Waiting Overnight In Line For The iPhone 4 [pictures & videos]

June 24: Apple’s Idiotic Statement To iPhone 4 Reception Issues – Don’t Hold It That Way

June 25: Interpreting Steve Jobs Moronic “Ur Holding It Wrong” Email Reply [Pictorial]

—————————————————————————————————————————-

A Cultural Guide To Flipping The Bird

Flipping the bird means one thing … F*CK YOU … or does it? Crank up the middle finger to some French a-hole and you’ll likely get a blank stare followed by a laugh … cuz it don’t mean shit in France. So before you take your next international journey, brush up on the local customs and learn the proper way to give that dicknose local the finger.

[click image to view full size]

Flip The Bird

(via PopCrunch)

June 27, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | Leave a Comment 

Interpreting Steve Jobs Moronic “Ur Holding It Wrong” Email Reply [Pictorial]

Jobs-iPhone-4-Hold In follow-up to our Apple’s Ass-Kissing Public Relations FAIL article … we have to share this next incident. Yesterday we visited an Apple Store and noticed an employee talking to prospective iPhone 4 buyers. Swear to God … this dude was giving instructions on how to properly hold iPhone 4 so it doesn’t lose reception. He goes on saying, “you’ll eventually get used to it” … and took the opportunity to cross-sell the $29 Bumper. What’s even more amazing … people were buying into this bullshit. They were practicing the pinch-and-hold technique, looking like absolute morons. LMAO – WTF … folks are like iZombies when it comes to Apple … they’ll believe and do whatever Apple and Steve Jobs says – not surprising, but really freaking sad.

Anyways, the iPhone 4 death grip story really took off yesterday … with Steve Jobs’ moronic email reply taking center stage … it’s not our fault, you’re holding it wrong. Reiterations of the Jobs response were all over the Internet … and some renditions were quite hysterical. Below are a few our favorite “Ur Doing It Wrong” interpretations.  

Ur-Doing-It-Wrong-2
(via KRAPPS reader @JamesChevalier)

Ur-Doing-It-Wrong-1

iPhone 4 Hold

Ur-Doing-It-Wrong-4

Ur-Doing-It-Wrong-5  Ur-Doing-It-Wrong-6 (via David Cole)

Ur-Doing-It-Wrong-3

June 26, 2010 | Filed Under News | 3 Comments 

« Previous Page — Next Page »