Attention Walmart Shoppers – This App’s For You

Consider the following:

Drink-Til-You-Want-Me Person without teeth … Someone being tazed by police … Discarded pregnancy test in a restroom … Kid eating a booger … An “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt

Where are would you find these? Hmmmm … at a redneck wedding? Good answer … but WRONG! No one wears an “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt to a redneck wedding. They dress up for the occasion and wear a “Drink Til You Want Me” shirt.

The correct answer is … Walmart (redneck wedding was close). And what better way to honor a store where you can buy a shot gun and a bottle of Boone’s Farm, but you can’t buy a CD that has a “Parental Advisory” sticker … than with it’s own app … Mart Bingo.

MartBingo_title

Mart Bingo is easy to play … think traditional bingo, but Walmart-style. Go to Walmart, launch app, walk around and click the bingo square when you see what’s described.

MartBingo1   MartBingo3

We did our research, spent 4 and a half days inside a Walmart (we still itch and smell like bleach) and now are qualified to share a few beefs we have with the app.

1. What’s with the “Kid Eating Booger” square? We saw plenty of shoppers … young and old … eating boogers. Look under any clothing rack – a goldmine for boogers. Look closely in aisle 4 … see that green toy … it’s the Giant Green Booger action figure. So what we really need is just a general “Booger” category.

kid-picking-nose 2. “Over-Flowing Toilet” square? Doesn’t exist … closest thing we found was a drinking fountain in the bathroom … oh crap, was that it?

3. “Mother Beating Child” square? This one needs clarification … we saw many moms pulling their children by the hair. So does hair pulling count as a beating? If not … “Mother Pulling Child By Hair” should be it’s own unique square.

Suggested squares for future updates:

1. “Person Wearing Pajamas and/or Bedroom Slippers” … ancillary to this would be the “Curlers In Her Hair” square.

2. “Domestic Dispute” … these special events can always be seen/heard as Walmart shoppers are eager to share their personal issues with the public.

3. “Family Reunion” … besides the “family eating in an aisle” square, we witnessed plenty of family reunions inside of Walmart – heck, why else would these folks with hundreds of screaming kids be standing/blocking the aisle just talking and yapping away?

wal-mart-logo

And finally, if you need some additional Walmart activities, try these:

1. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream … “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!”

2. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say … “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

3. Go into the fitting room, shut the door, wait a while … then yell …
“There is no toilet paper in here!”

Go grab Mart Bingo and enjoy Walmart to its fullest!

August 5, 2009 | Filed Under Games 

Comments

  • The_iGeek

    made me laugh nearly every other sentence!

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  • This is really funny. I would recommend following through with the fitting room and port-o-potty mixup. Just use the size XL pair of mom jeans to wipe down with.

  • @Amazingnachos

    the last part was totally copied from lol.com

  • LOL … oh geez, that's just nasty and so wrong! 😉

  • OMG OMG OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS…. honestly one of the best articles to date, and I am not biased cause I found the app, I SWEAR!!

  • hahaha! hell it's funny!
    love the going on a fitting room and shout “there's no toilet paper here” after a while
    but no way i'm doing that lol… it's too humiliating hahaha.. rather do the first set

  • hahaha! hell it's funny!
    love the going on a fitting room and shout “there's no toilet paper here” after a while
    but no way i'm doing that lol… it's too humiliating hahaha.. rather do the first set