Redneck Roundup – Apps For The Less Intelligent

Rednecks … gotta love em! Thinking Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company and Genitalia is an Italian airline. Always talking about how 5th grade was the best six years of their life. Complaining that they can’t marry their sweetheart because there is a law against it. Still confused over the OJ Trial … no Neck, it was not a taste test between Sunkist and Minutemaid! Then there’s Redneck Kindergarten (keg stand training starts early) – Redneck Hot Tub – and the finest life has to offer, Redneck Mansion and Redneck Limousine.

Redneck_Daycare  redneck_hot_tub

redneck-mansion  redneck-limoFinal

Even Apple loves Rednecks. Heck, didn’t you know there’s a special edition Redneck  redneck_iphone iPhone … includes a genuine rubber band!

And of course there are plenty of apps catering to those mullet-wearing, tobacco-chewing, possum-eating folks we call Necks.

Did someone mention chewing tobacco? Of course! Chew is a staple in any Redneck’s diet and serves as an important source of Neck nutrition. So be healthy … grab a pinch and shove it between your cheek and gum. Yummy … the iDip app … but how come no iSpittoon?!? Where’s a Neck to spit – oh yeah, just swallow that delicious nutritious nicotine laced tobacco juice. Yummy!

iDip

It’s often said that pigs (not dogs) are a Redneck’s best friend. Makes sense … they look, smell and have the same intelligence level. So naturally there is a strong affinity between the two. And no surprise that the APiggyClock app is the #1 timepiece among Necks. You got your digital display right in the hog’s nostrils … plus the app doubles as a Redneck soundboard complete with chicken and pig noises. Freaking sweetness!

APiggyClock_1     APiggyClock_2

Ever notice that Rednecks are so busy … watching paint dry, taming stallions, drinking beer and practicing guitar. So you would think a cool productivity app like Evernote or To Do’s would come in handy. NOT! Why would a Neck want such garbage when they can download the Get ‘R Done app and organize their time. Plus this app is so sexy … just looking at the icon just makes me want to swallow some more tobacco juice. That girl is so yummy!

Get-R-Done-Title

Get R Done 1     Get R Done 2

Now besides picking their guitar, Rednecks love other musical instruments. Beer cans, chain saws, crickets, police sirens … and don’t forget your armpit is a beautiful source of melodies … YEEHAW, the Armpit Fart app!

armpit-fart-desc

But by far the best Redneck musical instrument is The Mouse Organ. It’s a very simple app … even a pig … errr … Neck can use it. Four brown mice … squish the mice with your finger … hear them squeak and watch them die and bleed. Oh hells yeah, that’s music to any Redneck’s ears!

The-Mouse-Organ-titleFINAL

The-Mouse-Organ-1

The-Mouse-Organ-2

August 10, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle 

Comments

  • cirby

    Ummm….

    The Mouse Organ isn't a redneck app.

    It's a Monty Python reference app.

  • cirby

    Ummm….

    The Mouse Organ isn't a redneck app.

    It's a Monty Python reference app.

  • good call on the Monty Python reference, thank you!

    we interviewed 10 Rednecks … and 9 out of 10 Necks LOVE “The Mouse Organ” so we included it in the roundup … nothing literal of course, just sayin' Necks love and download “The Mouse Organ” 🙂

  • good call on the Monty Python reference, thank you!

    we interviewed 10 Rednecks … and 9 out of 10 Necks LOVE “The Mouse Organ” so we included it in the roundup … nothing literal of course, just sayin' Necks love and download “The Mouse Organ” 🙂

  • good call on the Monty Python reference, thank you!

    we interviewed 10 Rednecks … and 9 out of 10 Necks LOVE “The Mouse Organ” so we included it in the roundup … nothing literal of course, just sayin’ Necks love and download “The Mouse Organ” 🙂

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