O Canada, Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter! Government Censors Cornhole All-Stars

cornhole-FINAL As a preamble to our story, per Wikipedia:

“Cornhole is a lawn game in which players take turns pitching cornhole bags at a raised platform with a hole in the far end. A bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point. Play continues until a player reaches the score of 21.”

The folks over at JUFTi Games are big Cornhole fans and thought it would be cool to make a virtual version of the game. On August 1, JUFTi Games launched the Cornhole All-Stars iPhone app. Now read carefully between the lines … see what JUFTi Games did? Similar to the way “Football” is incorporated in Backbreaker Football or “Boxing” in Super KO Boxing … JUFTi Games used the word “Cornhole” in their app’s title – Cornhole All-Stars. Those BASTARDS!

cornhole_all_stars_111

Seriously, it really pisses us off when developers give their apps such clever and sensible names. Why couldn’t JUFTi Games name Cornhole All-Stars something stupid like … Pink Hippo Farms. Using the word “Cornhole” in the title of a virtual Cornhole iPhone game is simply offensive. Yeah you heard us JUFTi Games … SCREW YOU … you’re Cornhole All-Stars name offends us!

What? You think we’re crazy? SCREW YOU TOO! We’re not crazy and the Canadian Government agrees, Cornhole All-Stars is offensive, thus censoring the game in Canada.

Yup … cruise over to the Canadian App Store, type in “Cornhole All-Stars” and you’ll find nothing. As we said, the brilliant Canadian Government censored this clever and sensible title to … C*****e All-Stars. In essence, halting Cornhole All-Stars sales in Canada – if consumers can’t find it, they can’t buy it. LOL at JUFTi Games … maybe next time you’ll think twice about cornholing O Canada.

chascanada-FINAL

So we really wanted to get to the bottom of this dumbass move by JUFTi Games and contacted co-founder Jon Meyers. We asked Jon WTF was he thinking naming his Cornhole-themed iPhone game, Cornhole All-Stars. Jon gave us some weak reply saying … “incorporating the word Cornhole into the app’s title would provide potential customers a clear message to the premise of the game and a convenient method of locating a virtual Cornhole iPhone game amongst the nearly 100,000 iPhone applications”. Ha – not in Canada bitch!

Anyways, Jon and his business partner, Chuck Hootman, are prepared to “be heard” in Canada. They take issue with seemingly arbitrary Canadian Government standards and a lack of consistency throughout the Apple App Store.

Cornhole-All-Stars-Censored

“That the government in Canada wants to keep us from using the word Cornhole speaks volumes about its priorities – which seem to be limiting freedom of speech and trade between very close neighbors.” Chuck said. “We want Canada to free Cornhole and lift these harsh sanctions. We demand that the Harper regime free Cornhole.” Jon said.

americashat In hopes of freeing Cornhole from censorship, JUFTi has filed formal letters of protest with the Canadian Government and will travel to Toronto … staging protest rallies throughout the City on Thursday, Oct. 15 and Friday, Oct. 16. For more protest information, visit  SayCornhole.com.

Whatever JUFTi. Just remember … Canada may be America’s hat, but you’re their bitch. Hopefully next on O Canada’s agenda is censoring other offensive apps like Nut Sizer, iScrew and Cockadoodle Inc, eh?

October 13, 2009 | Filed Under Games, News 

Comments

  • JUFTi Games probably didn't have all their permits from the Canadian Ministry of iPhone.

  • Ah yes, of course! The Canadian Ministry of iPhone … you bring up a good
    point hellotim … it is imperative for developers to pay attention to the
    details … it's not just about coding and launching your app … one must
    file for proper permits and such, throughout the entire World! We think the
    Ministry of iPhone positions will be a growing trend in all countries and
    thus applaud Canada for being pathfinders to such an important and viable
    role. O Canada – BRAVO!

  • JUFTi Games probably didn't have all their permits from the Canadian Ministry of iPhone.

  • Ah yes, of course! The Canadian Ministry of iPhone … you bring up a good
    point hellotim … it is imperative for developers to pay attention to the
    details … it's not just about coding and launching your app … one must
    file for proper permits and such, throughout the entire World! We think the
    Ministry of iPhone positions will be a growing trend in all countries and
    thus applaud Canada for being pathfinders to such an important and viable
    role. O Canada – BRAVO!