Sexulator – A Pro Athlete’s Best Friend [$20 Starbucks Giveaway]
($20 starbucks gift card giveaway – see end of article for details)
There are thousands of productivity and organizational apps available for the iPhone. You got note taking apps like Evernote, scheduling and calendar apps, shopping lists, to do lists, file sharing, reminder apps … heck, there’s even the 25h app that gives you an extra 60 minutes of life – turning your 24-hour day into 25.
With all this ingenuity, it should come as no surprise that a new sex utility app has found its way into the App Store … Sexulator [iTunes] from Coconut Island Apps.
The basic premise of Sexulator is to help track your sex life. The app launches with a calendar view of the current month where you can input your sexual activities, including notes about the deed. Upon adding your event, the day is tagged with a corresponding icon: Heart = straight up sex (assuming with or without a partner?) … “O” = oral sex … Lips = make out session (yeah, we also assumed this would be the oral sex indicator) … “M” = more than one partner at the same time (great feature for anal swingers … uh, that didn’t sound right … make that anal retentive swingers). And for those users who get a little too carried away, Sexulator gives the ability to input multiple events for the same day.
In addition to tracking your sexcapades, Sexulator features a calculator which conveniently displays your weekly, monthly or yearly averages … as well as a running total. You can also input a specific date range for activity averages. Based on these calculations, Sexulator labels you with a Sex Status descriptor. Since Nov. 1, KRAPPS has participated in 9 Sex Events, 6 Kiss, 5 Oral and 0 Multiple (we’re still striking out with anal retentive swingers) … all this data labels us as a Sex Pancake – Mrs. Butterworth gets more action than KRAPPS (but no fear, we’re working hard – no pun intended – to beef up our rating).
Now Sexulator is fine and dandy as-is … a more than capable bedroom utility app … but the real beauty is reading between Sexulator’s lines and getting creative with the app.
as a Sex Therapist
It’s a fact of life that most couples will go through some rough patches in the bedroom. Sexulator to the rescue! Using the calendar to enter their deeds, couples will naturally want to do “it” and input more, thus increasing their averages. Look at it as boinking with a goal … increase those averages and sex label ratings.
as a Sex Mediator
Sticking with the couples theme … men typically complain about not getting enough sex from their partner. With the tracking features of Sexulator, the app provides an unbiased ruling and sentence – “Oral sex average is disturbingly low. Please engage in more diver down activities.”
as a Professional Athlete’s Best Friend
Sick of those gold diggers hitting you with paternity lawsuits? Use Sexulator to track all the different women you’ve had sex with and on which days. Knowing the names and sex dates of your partners can predict conception date and save thousands of dollars in legal fees. A perfect app for the NBA.
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GIVEAWAY
In honor of Sexulator, we’re giving away coffee in form of a $20 sexy Starbucks gift card. Simply leave a comment below by Thu, Nov 12, 11:59pm PST and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win the $20 gift card … or you can opt for a DNA Paternity Test Kit if need be.
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