A Talking Beer – Quickest Way To Jack Up Your Kid

The folks at Gigabyte Solutions love children. In fact, they love them so much that a portion of their software business is dedicated to children’s iPhone apps. Just like that oversized purple freak named Barney … Gigabyte has stumbled upon a winning formula of kiddy appeal … talking characters. Stuff like talking spiders, talking cows, talking apples, talking footballs, talking monkeys and more. When the user speaks, the app’s character mimics the voice with a moving mouth.

a-talking-apple   talking-orangutan

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However, not everyone at Gigabyte is on board with the “kids rock” notion. It appears some mofo at the company actually despises children and managed to slip in a talking character that guarantees a lifelong disturbing effect on the child … meet the A Talking Beer app.

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This bastard Gigabyte employee even went as far as encouraging parents to have the Talking Beer read bedtime stories to their child …

Sit me beside you when reading a bedtime story and watch your child’s face light up with joy that I am reading them a story.

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WTF Gigabyte? – FAIL! Uh no, children are not enamored with talking beers … not to mention the fact that it’s kinda a bad idea to introduce alcohol as a form of entertainment to kids. Well unless you are a fan of jail. What’s next for the children Gigabyte? … Talking Cigarettes, Talking Hookers, Talking Condoms … all very age appropriate, don’t cha think?

Well, guess it could be worse. Gigabyte could team up with Autopsy The Clown and release a series of talking X-rated balloon characters … starting with Talking Humpity Hump Dogs. Oh that’s just SO wrong! <sorry>

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November 13, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment 

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