Don’t Like To Breathe? We Have The Perfect App For You!

(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)

NY-Swimmer-Title

NewYork Swimmer / SuddenDeath is a game unlike anything I’ve ever played before. It takes ridiculous uselessness to an insanely high new level. When Mister KRAPPS requested I review this app, I thought this was either some sort of cruel and unusual punishment (perhaps I pissed him off) or an early April Fools Day joke.

First off, I’m not quite sure how this is a game. This "game" relies on you pressing a button, then holding your breath (yes, YOU holding YOUR breath) to progress through "levels". Each level requires you to hold your breath longer and longer … until you eventually  turn blue and ready to pass out. Yeah – good times – FUN!

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NY1

If you do eventually decide to breathe for some strange reason, you must click the “Breath” button … which will cause you to lose the level. Basically,if you breathe, you suck (no pun).

If you like gameplay of any kind, turn back now … this game is not for you.
If you like decent visuals, run away … this game is not for you.
If you like breathing without interru — Okay, THIS GAME. IS NOT. FOR YOU. PERIOD.

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I’m not quite sure this game is for ANYBODY. I think we all can agree that breathing is a pretty awesome thing and in general, people like to breathe. However, if for some sadistic reason you have a death wish … then by all means, drop the 99 cents on NewYork Swimmer / SuddenDeath and be emo. However keep the phone nearby … just in case you suddenly realize breathing is a pleasant activity and need to dial 911.

NewYork Swimmer / SuddenDeath seems like more of a programming test from the developer than an actual game. Something whipped up in half a day to test his ability to create a button, progress bar, simple animations and of course, make a buck.

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Keep in mind, I’m not insulting the developer here. He’s a cool guy. I talked to him over Facebook and on the phone … and he seemed like a nice enough dude. But damn, this game is not worthwhile. It’s one of those typical apps featured here on KRAPPS that makes you think … “WTF was Apple thinking when they approved this app.”

In conclusion, even if NewYork Swimmer / SuddenDeath was free of charge, I would not recommend it to any normal person. Not trying to be harsh – just trying to keep it real, dawg.

And please, always remember … BREATHING IS A GOOD THING!

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March 27, 2010 | Filed Under Games, Guest Authors 

Comments

  • No_Tie

    On the other hand, try PocketCPR which could actually save a life!

    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pocketcpr/id3347…

  • indeed … one taketh, one giveth 🙂

  • Sudden Death? WTF? in 90 seconds i'll be dead if i hold my breath that long.

  • lol, exactly dude … wonder how long Apple held their breath
    reviewing this app?

  • No_Tie

    On the other hand, try PocketCPR which could actually save a life!

    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pocketcpr/id3347…

  • indeed … one taketh, one giveth 🙂

  • Sudden Death? WTF? in 90 seconds i'll be dead if i hold my breath that long.

  • lol, exactly dude … wonder how long Apple held their breath
    reviewing this app?