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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
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Apple Reverses Its “ No Religious Humor” Policy, Approves Jesus Jump!
In May 2009, shortly after receiving extremely bad press in regards to the Baby Shaker application, Apple rejected an iPhone app called Me So Holy. The app would have enabled users to superimpose their faces on images of religious figures like Jesus, the Pope, Mother Teresa and others. Me So Holy was rejected based on Section 3.3.12 of the iPhone SDK agreement …
“Applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind … that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable by iPhone or iPod Touch users.”
LMAO … boy how times have changed! Doing a 180 reversal on their previous “No Religious Humor” policy, Apple has approved the first app which uses Jesus outside of serious religious context … Jesus Jump.
From the makers of such fine applications such as Fail Tattoos, Justin Bieber Fashion and Banned Wedding Portraits … Jesus Jump is yet another Doodle Jump-like game staring Jesus as the main character. The game’s objective is simple, help Jesus bounce his way into Heaven. Per the app’s description …
On the third day, Jesus resurrected and floated into the sky to his kingdom in Heaven.
Now you can help Jesus get to heaven! Tilt your iPhone/iPod/iPad left or right to move Jesus through the clouds. While making his way to Heaven, you can find bonus items to achieve a higher score! Don’t let Jesus fall or the game is over!
So now that it’s clear (we use the term loosely – with Apple nothing is clear) religious humor is no longer considered blasphemy or offensive by Apple … does this mean the return of Me So Holy and a wave of other divine parodies? Only time will tell WWSJD?
Free Full Version ‘Word Driven’ iPhone Game Using Our Secret Code ($2 Value)
In case you didn’t receive the memo … exercising your brain is good thing. Similar to the rest of your body, it is a case of “use it or lose it” with your brain’s muscle. So to help you avoid becoming the next Lindsay Lohan <dumb – dumb – dumb>, we present the P90X of iPhone apps … Word Driven [iTunes FREE].
Word Driven is a simple yet challenging word puzzle game, unique to the App Store. You are presented with 3 letters with the objective of creating a word using those 3 letters … in the same order. For example, given the letters “SPR” … you could create SPIDER. Letters “SYS” can result in SYSTEMATIC.
The longer the word, the more points you get … ENTERTAINMENT scores higher than BENT when using the 3 letters “ENT”. Get it? See, it’s easy … but can get totally challenging as Word Driven has four difficulty levels. At the hardest difficulty setting, Word Driven is one of the most challenging word games – ever.
Controls, game music, graphics and user interface are all top-notch and extremely polished. Word Driven is so kick ass, it was featured by Apple as a “New and Noteworthy” application. We love the fact that Word Driven is OpenFeint Enabled … satisfying our competitive juices as we compare our scores to folks worldwide. And to make Word Driven even more entertaining, you can play either the Race Mode (get as many points as you can before time runs out) or Road Trip (play at leisure, additional penalties applied). Oh … and did we mention all this Word Driven epicness is FREE?
FREE is nice, but will only take you so far. Via a $1.99 in-app purchase, players can unlock additional game levels and difficulty settings. But before you frown at a measly 199 cents, Word Driven contains SwappIt code technology … meaning when you make the in-app purchase, you’ll receive a code … give that SwappIt code to a friend and they will be able to receive the $1.99 worth of upgrades for FREE. It’s sort of like a “buy one, get one free” special … and good for karma. No other developers use such revolutionary technology … they should … because it’s uniquely super cool!
*** Free Full Version Of Word Driven To All KRAPPS Viewers ($1.99 value) ***
Big shouts to the folks at Headlight Software who were kind enough to create a secret uber SwappIt code exclusively for our viewers … allowing you to download all game levels and difficulty setting for free. Simply CLICK HERE to download the free Word Driven app. Within the SwappIt screen, enter the secret uber code … KRAPPS.COM … press “Done” and voila … the full version of Word Driven has been unlocked and ready for your P90X brain workout. Enjoy!
Intense. Violent. Extreme. – Cage Fighting Marshmallow Peeps Brawl In New App
Three words – Cage. Fighting. Chicks.
No, not those kind of chicks … Apple banned overtly sexual apps. We’re talking the marshmallow kind, better known as … peeps. So piss off MMA, UFC and all you other cage fighting acronyms … there’s a new game in town that’ll kick your pansy ass! FCU has arrived … Fighting Chicks Unlimited [iTunes $0.99].
Rarely do we come across an application that has the drama, suspense and excitement as Fighting Chicks Unlimited. The action is intense, the violence borders disturbing … FCU is pure, raw and epic awesomeness.
FCU is a universal application (iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad friendly = more bang for your buck) in which marshmallow peeps fight for your entertainment in a caged arena. Prior to the match, the player reviews each peeps’ “tale of the tape” … analyzing height, reach, odds and other applicable fighting factors (geeks should love this kind of statistical analysis). Once this data is considered, the player picks a peep to win and enters the amount of their wager (gambling is legal in FCU).
Once bets have been placed, it’s SHOWTIME! Round and round these crazed steroid-taking marshmallows go (roids are legal in FCU) … battling each other until one explodes or tips over. Last peep intact or standing is declared the winner. Bet right, you win … bet wrong, you suck and your bankroll takes a beat down.
What we love about Fighting Chicks Unlimited is that there are no other apps like it (original / unique point +1) … and at 99 cents, FCU is a knock out bargain. But words really can’t describe something so insane and legendary as Fighting Chicks Unlimited. Tthat’s why there’s a game action video about half and inch below. Push play … be amazed … then buy the one-of-a-kind app and feel the adrenaline rush. PEEPS!
Pocket God Honors Its Fans With Hysterical ‘Update Song’ [Music Video]
On January 9, 2009, developers Dave Castelnuovo and Allan Dye released Pocket God. Little did they know that Pocket God would skyrocket them into App Store glory … but at the same time, jacked up their life forever.
When Pocket God was first released 20 months ago, Dave and Allan embarked on an insane journey. They basically became monks (or addicts) … locking themselves indoors, working on Pocket God 24/7 and releasing new updates EVERY WEEK. This insane pace continued month after month after month. Naturally since Dave and Allan are only human, the updates slowed a tad … but still, the amount of new material Pocket God has received over the past 20 months is astonishing … 33 updates!
Now the problem is that when you publish such frequent updates, people start expecting (demanding) it at the regular intervals. When Dave and Allan are “late” with an update, the Pocket God world is turned upside down and fanboys cry <bitch – bitch – bitch> …
Where Is The Update? – Give Us The Update! – We Want The Update Now!
LMAO … gotta love the passion, enthusiasm and fanaticism of Pocket God followers. And what better way to honor these insane and awesome Pocket God fans than through song? Dave and Allan teamed up with singer-songwriter Jonathan Mann (of “The iPhone Antenna Song” and “That’s Just The Woz” fame) to produce the hilarious “Pocket God Update Song” … featuring the only boy band that doesn’t suck – the Pigmy Boy Band.
(and yeah … where the hell are those overtly sexual female pygmies Dave/Allan? … we want them now! … bitch – bitch – bitch)
The Gods Must Be Lazy [Godville iPhone Game Review]
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
I picked up Godville when it first came out back in July (it’s free — iTunes link — so there is absolutely no barrier to entry), set up my deity account, crafted my hero and then promptly forgot about it. Perhaps I should have stretched the whole process out over 6 or 7 days – maybe then I would have had an inclination to meddle more in the affairs of men.
So, fast-forward to about three weeks ago (yes, I am asking you to fast-forward into the past, McFly), when my brother-in-law asked me "Have you played Godville?" After my quick retort of "Has anybody *really* played Godville?" I pulled up the app and lo and behold, my hero had been slaving like a Working Class Dog. So, I tossed him an encouragement and a punishment, ’cause I don’t need him going all soft on me and then read through his diary. As far as I can piece together (hey, the app doesn’t bestow omniscience, it’s free — iTunes link — remember) my hero, Dread Pirate Roberts, has been wandering the countryside, handing out cans of throwback whoop-ass to over fifteen hundred monsters, grabbing fistfuls of loot and yes, even dying 4 times (so it is quite possible he is now a zombie).
Some of the diary entries are quite funny. The player community’s suggestions and ideas are incorporated into the game’s text, so you’re not likely to see the same thing over and over. My current stats show that my hero belongs to the Zombie Hunter guild. I don’t recall choosing this, but it seems appropriate given my appreciation for all things zombie. At some point, my guild was Sweet Dreams, I can guarantee I didn’t choose that one.
The update that was just released last week adds several new features, including making the app Universal. I just loaded it onto my iPad and it puts the extra screen space to good use, combining several screens from the iPhone version into one. Another new feature just added is the GodWiki where you can get extra information related to the game.
The app is also available in Russian where it is called: Годвилль – I was hoping this was the Russian word for FartApp, but alas it is simply Godville. [iTunes Free]
Rack Stare App Helps You Stare At Boobs Without Getting Caught
Let’s just get straight to the point of today’s article … Do You Enjoy Staring At Women’s Breasts?
If you answered “yes sir, may I have another”, then you likely know that one of the many challenges of gawking at a woman’s rack in public is getting caught by the subject. Similar to looking directly at the sun, staring at boobs for a prolonged period of time is dangerous … you could go blind, get a foot up your ass or a slap in the face.
Luckily the developers at Venevi Enterprises feel your pain. You see, they are perverts to and have published a new iPhone app to help out … Rack Stare!
On the surface, Rack Stare is a game in which the longer you ogle at a sexy chick’s breasts, the more points you earn. If hottie catches you checking out her goods, you’ll receive an appropriate bitch slap. Per the app’s description …
So, here you are sitting next to a hot blonde. Your head unavoidably turns in her direction as you’re trying your best to put on an indifferent face. To pass a level, stare at the babes mouth-watering decollete as long as you can without being noticed. The more you stare, the more points you get. Don’t get too involved though, as you don’t want to be slapped in the face by the furious woman!
Become the world’s best Rack Starer now!
So is Rack Stare just an innocent little iPhone game? … we think not!
Rack Stare is secretly training a legion of perverted geeks and giving them ninja-like skills of prolonged breast staring … anytime, anywhere … totally stealth. Our advice to combat these horny losers … continual use of your top button!
Same Day Apple Says ‘No More Fart Apps’ They Approve One Anyways
Well that didn’t take long …
Yesterday in our More App Store Porn Discovered article, we mentioned that Apple released a set of guidelines to its developers. The big news (well, in our humble opinion) was that Apple is sick of fart apps … and would not longer approve them for sale. On the first page of their official App Store Review Guidelines document, Apple bluntly states … “We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps.”
OUCH … poor fart developers … we feel you! Or do we? Meh, this is Apple we’re talking about and as we once described them … a Comedy Of Errors.
So here’s a brief timeline …
The morning of Thursday, September 9 … Apple releases their official guidelines, boldly claiming NO MORE FART APPS! Twelve hours later … Apple approves and publishes a fart app – Simon Says Pull My Finger.
LMAO … and the comedy continues. The whole point of Apple’s document is to make the app review and approval process less arbitrary. However, when Apple says “no more fart apps” … what they REALLY mean is “no more fart apps unless it’s part of a game” or perhaps “no more fart soundboard apps” … yeah, is that what they mean? Hell, who knows with these guys.
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