Attention Slackers!

Title: Hold The Button
Category: Games

Hold The Button Screen This one is so amazing, we had to re-read the description several times to let it sink in. We do not want to take credit for its brilliance, so here is the app’s actual description:

“Hold The Button will put to the test your stamina … As it’s name states, Hold The Button’s objective is to keep the button pressed as long as you can. Your reflexes and other speed-related abilities won’t help you in this game, you’ll have to learn to empty your mind if you want to achieve a high score … This is Hold The Button. Too simple? Maybe, but will you be one of the World’s Top 25?”

So to recap … the objective of Hold The Button is to press the button with your finger and not let go … EVER! See, we told you … freaking brilliant! This is the kind of stuff that puts other apps to shame. Screw Google Earth when you can get Hold The Button! Simply genius – slackers need not apply for this app. Hold The Button – the anti-KRAPPS of the iPhone apps!

The Fight Against KRAPPS

Title: iFight
Category: Entertainment

update: all iFight download codes have been claimed – thank you

iFightiPhoneGIF350 Afrim Kacaj is a common man. He has a Ying – He has a Yang (we’ll talk ying here and cover his yang in another article – no pun intended). Afrim lives in New York City, has a job, pays taxes, gets a haircut and like most iPhone users … thinks there are too many KRAPPS in the App Store. But unlike the common iPhone user, Afrim decided to take matters into his own hands and lead the fight against KRAPPS. He cleverly released the iFight app along with the slogan, “fight against the fart apps”.

So how exactly is iFight battling KRAPPS? I’ll let Afrim explain:

Did a friend just lay an iFart? Unleash the whip on them with iFight. Another friend drinking a virtual beer with his iPhone? Give him a slap with iFight for being stupid. The possibilities are endless. Made in New York City!

Uh, note to self … don’t piss off Afrim. However somebody has got to break the news to him … you can’t fight KRAPPS with KRAPPS – releasing a KRAPPS to fight KRAPPS is well, KRAPPS … simply put, two wrongs don’t make a right. Ok, I’m out … gotta bail before Afrim bitch slaps me with his iPhone. But I’ll leave you with this iFight combat training video:

… shhhhhh, be very quite – I’m hiding from Afrim. Just snuck back to quickly smack Apple upside the head with my iFight app. Ok, I get “copy apps”: over 48 fart apps, endless tic-tac-toe apps, flashlights, tip calculators, etc. But damn, this is really going to piss off Afrim … Apple approved the iFight! app … yeah, look closely … WTF Apple … a single exclamation point is enough of a “non-duplicate” difference? Weak!


Free iFight app to KRAPPS viewers!

Afrim was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download iFight for FREE. Be one of the first 5 readers to tweet on Twitter:

got iPhone? follow and visit @KRAPPS. outing whacky, weird, stupid & strange apps for your entertainment >

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

Second Chance Offer – once all 5 codes have been claimed, we will announce on Twitter details for part 2 of this giveaway … stay tuned at Twitter.

Giveaway – East Coast Style

update: promo codes have been claimed. additional codes will be given away via Twitter.

Washington-Metro-Subway-iPh Presselite has been kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download the Washington Metro Subway and New York Transit Subway apps for FREE (regular price $5.99).

Click here for details about the Washington Metro Subway app
Click here for details about the New York Transit app

We will announce on Twitter when the giveaway begins. When announcement is made, tweet the following:

got iPhone? follow and visit @KRAPPS. outing whacky, weird, stupid & strange apps for your entertainment >

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

YOU Suck!

Title: rRootage
Category: Games

rRootageIcon rRootage is a classic galactic shooter game originally written by Kenta Cho and ported to the iPhone by developer Lazrhog Games. Supposedly a decent app, although there are no sound effects which is a fairly big omission in a shooter game.

There is an additional blunder, not with the app’s functionality, rather the developer’s attitude. Seems these geeks either did not take Business 101 in college or were too busy focusing on their techie core classes to pay attention during lectures covering the Quality Customer Service chapter of their Intro To Business text book.

I guess Lazrhog Games has a huge problem with the App Store user review system and to some extent, rightfully so … but that is a debate for another blog … here at KRAPPS, we’ll focus on Lazrhog’s public rant in the app’s description … standing on their soapbox, Lazrhog Games proclaims:

Please don’t just be negative for no reason in comments. Negative comments can destroy a game’s/application’s downloads, as I have already seen. Especially if people incorrectly state that a game ‘crashed my iPhone’. Invariably the problem is YOU and not the game/app.

rRootageScreen WTF? I’m the problem? I caused my iPhone to crash? Wow … my bad! I guess that whole  deal where Steve Jobs acknowledges an app crash bug and vows to provide a fix isn’t really applicable since I am the problem. Hey Nordstrom department stores! – you got it all wrong with your “customer first” philosophy. An even worse offender is Zappos as they are freaks about their customer service approach. Shame on Nordstrom! Shame on Zappos! – your customers are the problem!

Actually Lazrhog, to a certain extent I agree … the problem is not rRootage … it’s not your customers … it’s not Apple … it’s not a crashed iPhone …YOU Lazrhog are the problem – still don’t get it? Go download and carefully listen to the free audio book Tribal Leadership … pay attention, you actually might learn something this time.

More Boobies

We never thought it would become a habit to write about iPhone boobs, but we call ‘em like we see ‘em. As reported yesterday’s Boobies, Farts & Flashlights article, an iPhone breast jiggling simulator was released … Wobble.

ijiggles-icon Similar to the deluge of fart apps, another boobie app has appeared … iJiggles. Is this a sign of things to come? Like farts, will boobies be the new flavor of the month and flood the App Store? Who knows … but I find it very clever that developers positioned these apps as “photo distortion software” in efforts to circumvent Apple’s acceptance guidelines. But come on … we all know that boys will be boys and there really is only one use for Wobble and iJiggles … bouncing boobs.

Also interesting are the two versions of iJiggles screenshots … the G-rated cute baby version … and the PG-13 girl hold watermelons version.

ijiggle-screen-1v2        iJiggles-scree-PG13

Special thanks to YouTube member eugene4023 for informing us of his demonstration videos below … when watching, remember … boys will be boys.



Boobies, Farts & Flashlights

January 16, 2009 was an interesting day in “App Land”. Two significant events took place that had app geeks buzzing … and could you really blame us app geeks for getting all hot and bothered? Come on – we’re talking about BOOBIES & FARTS – oh yeah, flashlights too.

Wobble Icon Recently an application called iBoobs was rejected by Apple on the grounds of “objectionable content”. This app allows users to jiggle a pair of women’s breasts. Click here for a demonstration on YouTube (it’s actually rather boring). The rejection was no surprise. The real surprise was the launch of Wobble. Reading the app’s description, Wobble is innocent enough:

Wobble is the only application that can make ANY part of your photo wobble like jelly. Bring photos to life and make parts of them bounce in realistic 3D.

Hmmm – ok – interesting. But of course sex sells and the developers know it, thus the demonstration video below (this one is actually not so boring):


Tweetie is a full-featured iPhone Twitter client. It’s a solid app that is 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified. So why are we spotlighting Tweetie? Well, Tweetie received an update … an extensive update: instapaper integration, landscape keyboard, link to StockTwits, ability to email @ or direct messages (which is really cool) and more. One of the subtle twitterfartv2GIF improvements (I use the term loosely) is the Popularity EnhancEr (PEE) – which means that in addition to a full-featured Twitter client, Tweetie is now a FART app, as well as a flashlight app … talk about value-added! Click here to read the developer’s explanation of PEE and why they decided to integrate Tweetie with fart and flashlight functionality (it’s actually a very funny read).

Yeah, pretty big deal as this is the first time fart functionality lingered (no pun intended) into a non-fart dedicated app … oh and almost forgot – flashlight too … gives a whole new meaning to “lighting one up”. Well this Tweetie PEE will probably blow up sales and race to the #1 spot – thus encouraging copy apps. I can see Shazam PEE, not only will Shazam recognize music, but correctly identify farts – kazoo, ripper, wet one, etc. Makes sense that the Zippo Lighter app should ignite farts. And of course the Air Sharing file storage app is just a no-brainer for a fart upgrade.

Put Down The Molson

Title: Calgary Traffic
Category: Navigation

Screenshots within the app’s description page are a critical selling feature. Since Apple does not give refunds on apps and there are no trial periods, the app’s screenshots are the only visual preview a developer can give the potential buying audience. So pretty simple concept: screenshots = good … include them – include several of them!

CalgaryTrafficScreen This is why the Calgary Traffic app is absolutely hysterical. The developer wisely chose to include a screenshot … BUT … the visual is a blank loading screen … even worse, the Mensa developer was attempting to create this screenshot while the iPhone was in Airplane mode (thus no 3G, Edge or Wi-Fi access so app will not function properly) … and perhaps the worst offense of all – this screenshot or lack of screenshot has been on proud display for the past FOUR months since Calgary Traffic was released on Sep. 17 … WTF  … Guys, I know Canada gets really cold during the winter and everybody tends to “shut down” a bit – but geez – put down the Molson lager and fix your advertising, you actually might sell a few apps.

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