For The Ladies, The “Stop Talking To My Breasts” App

boy_looking_at_boobs_final Let’s talk about breasts … specifically, the male fascination with boobs – what’s up with that? … is it a curiosity thing? jealous they don’t have any? is it a recreational activity? feelings of being nurtured? fertility symbol? too many Victoria Secret ads? … Well theorize all you want – the fact of the matter is, men seem to have this obsession with boobies.

Ok, so appreciating breasts is one thing … but being a total dick about it is another. Like the dude who can’t carry a normal conversation with a gal due to his wandering eyes. Yeah buddy, screw the eye contact! You’ll score with her for sure … keep gawking at those boobies … you’re hot and she’s totally into you.

But ladies … maybe you all should give those guys a break. Really, boobs are like the sun -you shouldn’t stare … but we just can’t help it. Better yet … why don’t you train your man to talk to your face and not your breasts. Next time you catch your guy talking to your chest … kick him in the balls … repeat as necessary. KIDDING! No, there really is a much simpler solution … just use your iPhone (of course).

Utilizing the iPhone’s accelerometer technology, Apple has approved a revolutionary new Breast-To-Face training application called … Man Trainer. Just strap an iPhone to your guy’s head and let Man Trainer take over. Think we’re kidding … NOT!

Man_Trainer_Desc

breast_looker_poster_final You see how noble Apple really is? They realize they blew it by approving so many of those Girly Look At My Titties apps and now Man Trainer is their restitution to all their female customers. Rumor has it that future updates will include … saying “I Love You” more frequently – remembering your birthday – buying tampons – being sensitive to your feelings – and more.
The Man Trainer App, Helping Restore Eye Contact Since 2009.

Comments

  • susanbdot

    Strap my WHAT to his WHAT? Are they nuts? Of course they are; must be a prerequisite for cranking out one of these apps. Anyone that immature doesn't get his hands, let alone his head, on my iPhone.

    So glad I'm past the age where anyone is distracted by my <ahem> chestal area.

  • susanbdot

    Strap my WHAT to his WHAT? Are they nuts? Of course they are; must be a prerequisite for cranking out one of these apps. Anyone that immature doesn't get his hands, let alone his head, on my iPhone.

    So glad I'm past the age where anyone is distracted by my <ahem> chestal area.

  • susanbdot

    Strap my WHAT to his WHAT? Are they nuts? Of course they are; must be a prerequisite for cranking out one of these apps. Anyone that immature doesn't get his hands, let alone his head, on my iPhone.

    So glad I'm past the age where anyone is distracted by my <ahem> chestal area.

  • susanbdot

    Strap my WHAT to his WHAT? Are they nuts? Of course they are; must be a prerequisite for cranking out one of these apps. Anyone that immature doesn't get his hands, let alone his head, on my iPhone.

    So glad I'm past the age where anyone is distracted by my <ahem> chestal area.

  • LOL … our exact same thoughts … strap WHAT WHERE?!?! That's why we had
    to include the description of proof … that we are NOT the one freaking
    bonkers … but I guess this stuff is just too good, you can't even make
    this shit up 🙂

  • LOL … our exact same thoughts … strap WHAT WHERE?!?! That's why we had
    to include the description of proof … that we are NOT the one freaking
    bonkers … but I guess this stuff is just too good, you can't even make
    this shit up 🙂

  • LOL … our exact same thoughts … strap WHAT WHERE?!?! That's why we had
    to include the description of proof … that we are NOT the one freaking
    bonkers … but I guess this stuff is just too good, you can't even make
    this shit up 🙂

  • LOL … our exact same thoughts … strap WHAT WHERE?!?! That's why we had
    to include the description of proof … that we are NOT the one freaking
    bonkers … but I guess this stuff is just too good, you can't even make
    this shit up 🙂

  • ungeheier

    You guys act like strapping an iPhone to your head is somehow wrong.

    Ive got my iPhone strapped to my head right now and it's been broken for 2 months now. Once you do it, you never go back.

    I think my iPhone broke the first time I tried to shower with it strapped to my head.

    (shrug)

  • ungeheier

    You guys act like strapping an iPhone to your head is somehow wrong.

    Ive got my iPhone strapped to my head right now and it's been broken for 2 months now. Once you do it, you never go back.

    I think my iPhone broke the first time I tried to shower with it strapped to my head.

    (shrug)

  • ungeheier

    You guys act like strapping an iPhone to your head is somehow wrong.

    Ive got my iPhone strapped to my head right now and it's been broken for 2 months now. Once you do it, you never go back.

    I think my iPhone broke the first time I tried to shower with it strapped to my head.

    (shrug)

  • ungeheier

    You guys act like strapping an iPhone to your head is somehow wrong.

    Ive got my iPhone strapped to my head right now and it's been broken for 2 months now. Once you do it, you never go back.

    I think my iPhone broke the first time I tried to shower with it strapped to my head.

    (shrug)

  • Yeah, supposedly that's the big “thing” in Cupertino … Apple
    employees are required to strap their iPhone on their head … not
    quite sure what the objective is, but thinking it's some “mind game”
    Steve Jobs likes to play.

  • Yeah, supposedly that's the big “thing” in Cupertino … Apple
    employees are required to strap their iPhone on their head … not
    quite sure what the objective is, but thinking it's some “mind game”
    Steve Jobs likes to play.

  • Yeah, supposedly that's the big “thing” in Cupertino … Apple
    employees are required to strap their iPhone on their head … not
    quite sure what the objective is, but thinking it's some “mind game”
    Steve Jobs likes to play.

  • Yeah, supposedly that's the big “thing” in Cupertino … Apple
    employees are required to strap their iPhone on their head … not
    quite sure what the objective is, but thinking it's some “mind game”
    Steve Jobs likes to play.

  • ungeheier

    Wait, are you trying to say ive been brainwashed by Steve Jobs?

  • ungeheier

    Wait, are you trying to say ive been brainwashed by Steve Jobs?

  • ungeheier

    Wait, are you trying to say ive been brainwashed by Steve Jobs?

  • ungeheier

    Wait, are you trying to say ive been brainwashed by Steve Jobs?

  • If you are walking around with an iPhone strapped to your head, we
    think the answer is fairly obvious.

    But don't worry … many Apple fanboys suffer from the same fate 😉

  • If you are walking around with an iPhone strapped to your head, we
    think the answer is fairly obvious.

    But don't worry … many Apple fanboys suffer from the same fate 😉

  • If you are walking around with an iPhone strapped to your head, we
    think the answer is fairly obvious.

    But don't worry … many Apple fanboys suffer from the same fate 😉

  • If you are walking around with an iPhone strapped to your head, we
    think the answer is fairly obvious.

    But don't worry … many Apple fanboys suffer from the same fate 😉

  • ungeheier

    Well, it is kinda hard walking with it strapped to my head. I think I need bigger pants though.

  • ungeheier

    Well, it is kinda hard walking with it strapped to my head. I think I need bigger pants though.

  • ungeheier

    Well, it is kinda hard walking with it strapped to my head. I think I need bigger pants though.

  • ungeheier

    Well, it is kinda hard walking with it strapped to my head. I think I need bigger pants though.

  • susanbdot

    Haven't we all been brainwashed by Steve Jobs? To one degree or another? Otherwise, why are we here? (Not counting any hecklers.)

    What I want to know: What do you use to strap the phone to your head. Darned difficult task. Thin slippery rectangle, glass panel. Afix this to round object.

    Sorry I'm being a killjoy again. I'm a scientist. I have to think about these things. It makes me happy.

  • drsb85

    OMG !!!! this is so cool….

  • drsb85

    OMG !!!! this is so cool….