For The Ladies, The “Stop Talking To My Breasts” App
Let’s talk about breasts … specifically, the male fascination with boobs – what’s up with that? … is it a curiosity thing? jealous they don’t have any? is it a recreational activity? feelings of being nurtured? fertility symbol? too many Victoria Secret ads? … Well theorize all you want – the fact of the matter is, men seem to have this obsession with boobies.
Ok, so appreciating breasts is one thing … but being a total dick about it is another. Like the dude who can’t carry a normal conversation with a gal due to his wandering eyes. Yeah buddy, screw the eye contact! You’ll score with her for sure … keep gawking at those boobies … you’re hot and she’s totally into you.
But ladies … maybe you all should give those guys a break. Really, boobs are like the sun -you shouldn’t stare … but we just can’t help it. Better yet … why don’t you train your man to talk to your face and not your breasts. Next time you catch your guy talking to your chest … kick him in the balls … repeat as necessary. KIDDING! No, there really is a much simpler solution … just use your iPhone (of course).
Utilizing the iPhone’s accelerometer technology, Apple has approved a revolutionary new Breast-To-Face training application called … Man Trainer. Just strap an iPhone to your guy’s head and let Man Trainer take over. Think we’re kidding … NOT!
You see how noble Apple really is? They realize they blew it by approving so many of those Girly Look At My Titties apps and now Man Trainer is their restitution to all their female customers. Rumor has it that future updates will include … saying “I Love You” more frequently – remembering your birthday – buying tampons – being sensitive to your feelings – and more.
The Man Trainer App, Helping Restore Eye Contact Since 2009.
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