So yesterday we wrote about man’s obsession with boobs. Today we switch gears a little … let’s talk about bacon fascination. Have you noticed that bacon is getting totally out of control lately? Long gone are the days of supermarket bacon brands like Oscar Mayer or Boar’s Head. Nope, these days it’s all about gourmet artisanal bacon … slow smoked, sugar glazed, organic, corn fed, dry aged, etc. … bacon freaks are rivaling those wine snob nut jobs.
(editor’s note: parents, don’t dress your kids up in bacon suits … we will punch you)
And it’s not just the actual piece of meat … bacon is everywhere! Bacon Salt – Bacon Vodka – Bacon Toothpicks – Bacon Lamps – Bacon Wallets – Bacon Bandages – Bacon Air Fresheners – Bacon Dental Floss – Bacon Shoes … damn, supposedly there’s even Bacon-flavored Diet Coke – WTH is that? Seriously, Google all this shit … it’s crazy!
So obviously not a big surprise … bacon comes sizzling into the App Store. First up we have three fairly straight forward bacon apps … Pocket Bacon, GetBacon and Instant Bacon. These apps bring the sights and sounds of an endless supply of sizzling bacon to your iPhone – call it Bacon Porn, but without the grease.
Similar to Bacon Vodka, this app is a bit squirrely … Tic-Tac-Bacon … from Dave Calabrese’s App-A-Day project. Come to think of it, Tic-Tac-Bacon makes perfect sense. Face it, tic-tac-toe is pretty freaking lame … but throw in some bacon action … and this sack of suck all of a sudden becomes golden and trendy (not quite as appealing as
Sexy Tic-Tac-Toe … but close).
Next we have the bacon-flavored Diet Coke of iPhone apps … the completely bizarre and whack … Dancing Bacon Man. Get this … picture dude – in a suit – with a disturbing bacon head … this sight alone will cause nightmares for days. Now picture the same suit-wearing bacon head dancing the Cabbage Patch or the Egyptian Walk or the Hip Thrust … WTF – LOL. Just complete bacon dancing madness … and rumored to be outlawed in 24 States.
To conclude, we present the ultimate bacon experience … the iBacon app. Now this is not your ordinary sizzling bacon app, rather iBacon takes inspiration from the interactivity of Pocket God. With iBacon, the user experiences the joy of cooking bacon, flipping slices with kitchen tongs, splattering grease, setting off a smoke alarm, draining the grease and finally eating the bacon by tilting the iPhone into your mouth. Rather than our feeble attempt of describing this masterpiece, check out the mouth-watering demonstration video below …
So remember … Bacon Is Meat Candy … and when it comes to eye candy, nothing beats the iPhone for pure pork pleasure (stay tuned for the Sexy Farting Bikini Girl Bacon app).