Ok Apple, enough with the fart apps. We all get it … the iPhone can fart. Ha! – Ha! iFarts were funny say the first 147 times. Now that there’s hundreds of them … uh, can you read:
Seriously … why do we need all this krapp: a farting camera – Camera Fart … a farting piano – Farthoven … female farts – Girls Fart Too … Alien Farts … Mexican farts – El Fart Mexicano … Monkey Fart … and the list goes on. What’s sad is that we used to like farts. Farts were fun and amusing. But now they are so overplayed by Apple, we just can’t stand them … Apple ruined farts and traded it for the almighty dollar … FARTS SUCK!
And that’s exactly why we purchased the new iDontFart app [iTunes]. Heck, at the time of purchase, we didn’t even know what the hell it did … all we knew is that iDontFart is an anti-fart app, which is good enough for us. If they had t-shirts, we’d purchase one too. Hats, stickers, coffee mugs … bring it on iDontFart … we want it all. FARTS SUCK!
Anyways, so when we finally had a calming moment (thanks to our myVibe app), we started tinkering around with iDontFart … and wouldn’t cha know – this sucker is actually quite handy. The premise is when you feel an anal ahem coming on, you launch the app and play one of the numerous “masking” sounds like a Cough, Snapping Fingers, Flushing Toilet, Rattling Keys, Shuffling Newspaper or others. So you’re disguising your farts with common everyday sounds. Freaking brilliant! We can totally see this useful after a big Mexican dinner, when playing golf (Tiger Woods could’ve used it, eh?), in a confessional … heck, even in bed while lighting a Dutch Oven … it’s all good!
So Apple declared their App Store “revolutionary” … well One Infinite Loop, we’re declaring our own revolution! A fight against the hundreds of annoying loser fart apps Apple has approved. Led my our fearless leader is iDontFart – we will “Save Our Dignity” …
99 cents is a small price to for change. Viva La Resistance!