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Recap: Week Of February 22 – plus Evolution Of The iPhone 2014


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iphone3g krapps 2 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

February 22: Screw Gameloft’s Brothers In Arms 2 – We Have The Real Gaming News!

February 22: NASA Releases First-Ever iPhone Game, Complete With Wiseass Remarks

February 23: Apple Finally Speaks Out – Sexy Apps From Well-Known Companies Ok

February 24: The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple

February 25: Star Wars Scrolling Text Lands On The iPhone With Star Wordz App

February 25: Wobble iBoobs Back On Sale For Your Jiggling Pleasures!

February 26: Kim Kardashian Official iPhone App – Gives Users Glimpse Into Her Fabulous Life

February 27: Apple’s New ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy Becomes Butt Of Joke [Comic]

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Evolution Of The iPhone
Since its first computer, the Apple I, went on sale in July 1976 (price of $666.66), Apple has consistently put out products that raise the bar for the computer and telecommunications industry. A few highlights include the first Macintosh released in 1984, iMac in 1998, the iPod in 2001, iPhone in 2007 and of course the upcoming iPad in 2010.

So what’s next for Apple? Well the clever folks at Be Geek seem to have it figured out through 2014. After that, it’s anyone’s guess … iCar, iHouse, iPlanet, iGalaxy?

iphone-evolution

Apple’s New ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy Becomes Butt Of Joke [Comic]


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For the past week, there’s been a lot of media coverage regarding Apple’s war on smut and the removal of over 5,000 “overtly sexual” applications from the App Store. We thought it’s time to lighten the mood and get a breath of fresh air by sharing this comic from The Joy Of Tech. LOL … enjoy!

Apple-Cartoon-FINAL

Kim Kardashian Official iPhone App – Gives Users Glimpse Into Her Fabulous Life


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Kim-Kardashian-Perfume-2 So how about that … Kim Kardashian joins the ranks of our KRAPPS App and gets her very own iPhone app. Cleverly titled and obnoxiously long … The Official Kim Kardashian Application … launched yesterday with promises of an intimate experience with her hotness and per the app’s description, “a glimpse into Kim’s fabulous life”. Kim’s app seems more of a self-defense tactic against celebrity-crazed stalkers as it gives users the ability to make her wave, blow kisses or even start flirting. Plus if that doesn’t satisfy your Kardashian craving, users can read Kim’s lifestyle and beauty tips, submit questions for  weekly Q&A sessions (we’ll see how long that lasts), watch videos (no perv, not those videos) or read any of her $10,000 tweets. But best of all, no matter where you are in the world … users can locate the nearest Sephora to rush out and purchase Kim’s new perfume. Now that is freaking worth the $1.99 price of the app alone!       

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kardashian-iphone-1  kardashian-iphone-2

Uh, hold on … rewind! What’s this whole interactive thing with the flirty business. We’ve carefully reviewed this aspect of the Kardashian app and frankly, we were horrified! While a one on one experience with the drop dead gorgeous socialite sounds promising … her virtual image is frighteningly hideous. Look at her! She freaks us out! Get away from us!

kardashia-iphone-3  kardashia-iphone-4

And not that we’re celebrity mongers or anything … but unless we missed the memo … last time we checked, Kim was happily married to Verizon and her totally cutesy pink Blackberry. Hmmm, maybe it’s just us and a case of not keeping up with the Kardashians … meh!

kim-kardashian-blackberry

Wobble iBoobs Back On Sale For Your Jiggling Pleasures!


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Yesterday in our “The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple” article, we reported that after realizing their mistakes, Apple reinstated two previously banned apps … Simply Beach and Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet. These two apps were originally collateral damage in Apple’s war against smut apps.

Well it looks like Apple has corrected a couple of other OOOPS-ies. Yesterday Apple reinstated six previously banned Hooters apps, including the Hooters Calendar Screen Wash app we highlighted by publisher On The Go Girls.

hooters-all  HootersWashiPhone

And just now, we received word, that the once banned Wobble iBoobs and Wobble iBoobs (Premium) apps are now available for sale on the App Store. Well sort of … looks like there was a slight tweak in the app’s title … no iBoobs. Guess it’s less “overtly sexual” this way.

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wobble-no-iboobs

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Stay tuned to KRAPPS as we’ll keep you abreast (see what we did there?) to any further developments in iSexGate 2010.

Star Wars Scrolling Text Lands On The iPhone With Star Wordz App


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Star-Wars-Opening-Crawl-FIN

Attention Star Wars fans! Get ready to rejoice and totally geek out. The beloved crawl of text seen at the beginning of each film did NOT fly off the movie screen … into the darkness of space … and crash down on Earth. Nope … that was just a vicious rumor started by a couple of bored kids one day during winter break (no clue? see “Star Wars vs. Star Trek” video at the end of article).

The real deal is that the iconic scrolling text is now available for the iPhone using the new Star Wordz app [iTunes $0.99] (ha! see what the developers did there?). We’re actually pretty floored it took this long for the Star Wars scrolling text to arrive on the iPhone … but we guess when your traveling from a galaxy far, far away … it takes awhile. 

Star-Wordz-Title

KRAPPS-Star-Wordz

Anywho … Star Wordz lets you customize your own Intro, Episode, Title and paragraphs of crawl text … mirroring the structure of the actual opening crawl of each Star Wars episode. Then just touch the Create button and the app launches your custom crawl on the iPhone via Safari for your viewing pleasure. Plus you can bookmark the page to view it one million times.

 

Being uber Star Wars fanboys … we love this app. It satisfies our Galactic Empire needs … plus chicks dig it too. Recently while clubbing, we used Star Wordz to help us pickup babes. It totally worked and now we have a smoking hot girlfriend thanks to Star Wordz.  We’d show you her picture, but she’s “overtly sexual” and has been banned from KRAPPS.

So yeah, get your Star Wars freak on and check out Star Wordz. For 99 cents, it’ll make your iPhone even more awesome and maybe even hook you up with an “overtly sexual” female.

 

The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple


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As previously reported, Apple finally broke their silence regarding last weekend’s  massive removal of “overtly sexual” apps … “It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Philip W. Schiller said in an interview with The New York Times.

Uh, ok. But what about apps like Playboy, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, FHM, Maxim and others … these definitely contain “overtly sexual” content which kids should not view … why did Apple look the other way and not ban these apps? … “The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” Schiller said. ERROR … translation – although these magazine apps contain titillating content, they will provide Apple a significant revenue stream from magazine subscriptions via the iPad once it arrives.

Uh, ok. But why did Apple ban a legitimate retailer’s online shopping application … Simply Beach … which sells bathing suits and rated 4+? ERROR … Apple made a mistake and they realized it. So without a word, not even to the publisher, Simply Beach mysteriously reappeared back on the App Store.

Simply-Beach-1  Simply-Beach-2

Uh, ok. But what about the 12+ rated game, Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet … why was it pulled from the App Store? ERROR … once again, realizing their mistake, Apple  reinstated Daisey Mae. Oh, and of course no word from Apple to the developer that their game was once again live (seems to be a common theme with Apple, this no communication thing).  

Daisy-Mae

Uh, ok. But yesterday, after Apple’s new “no smut apps allowed” policy … why did they approve the Girls Of Break.com app with its dental floss bikinis and bare asses images? ERROR … unless we missed the memo, Break.com is not “a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format.”

GOB-Title

GOB-1  GOB-2

Uh, ok. So Apple is cleaning up the App Store ahead of the iPad’s launch, which they are hoping to promote as a device for families and schools … yet the following Five Secrets app iTunes preview screenshot is approved for all ages to view? ERROR … trust us, it doesn’t matter how “well-known” the company is, no school will allow their students to read such a graphic description.

LOL …. Shakespeare could not have written it better.

Five-Secrets-FINAL

Apple Finally Speaks Out – Sexy Apps From Well-Known Companies Ok


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Last Friday we reported that Apple dropped another bomb in their war on smut apps.  Numerous developers received email notices from Apple announcing a revision in guidelines and the removal of any “overtly sexual” content from the App Store. At that time, it was our notion that this round of banishments would be considered the most significant day in Apple’s war on smut.

And indeed our inkling came true. Within 72 hours, over 5,000 “overtly sexual” apps were pulled from the App Store, representing about 3% of the total number of apps in the Store.

5000-appsremoved

Not only was Apple removing smut apps, but also wiping out entire publishing companies. One such company is On The Go Girls … as of Monday, all 50 of their applications were no HootersWashiPhoneFINAL longer available for sale, thus putting an end to their sole source of income. 

Until today, Apple has been silent about this latest round of take downs. The New York Times reports that Philip W. Schiller, head of worldwide product marketing at Apple, said they were responding to complaints from App Store users.

“It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Schiller said.

Schiller continued saying Apple had to prioritize its customers. “We obviously care about developers, but in the end have to put the needs of the kids and parents first,” he said.

Our question has always been … if Apple is removing “overtly sexual” apps, why do apps from Playboy, Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit), Maxim, FHM, Victoria Secret or Cosmopolitan (Sex Positions) still remain? Although it appears Schiller was not questioned about most of the apps we mentioned, he did speak specifically about the Sports Illustrated application.

SportsIllustratediPhone  PlayboyiPhone

“The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” Schiller said.

So let’s get this straight … although Apple cares about developers, priority was given to the needs of kids and parents. HOWEVER … “overtly sexual” content from well-known companies (Playboy, SI, Maxim, etc.) take priority over kids and parents. Or another way of looking at Apple’s logic … if the boobs are well-known (Playboy, SI, Maxim, etc.) and available broadly in a well-accepted format, then it’s ok for kids and parents.

Sound logic? Debatable (not) … but one thing is clear, Playboy certainly benefits from Apple’s logic. Prior to the removal of 5,000+ smut applications, the Playboy app was in the #111 position for Top Overall Paid Apps. Four days later, Playboy sits comfortably in the #32 position … $$ KaChing $$

playboy-app-rank-1

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LOL @ Apple! While we realize it’s Apple’s business and they can do whatever the hell they want … let’s call a spade a spade. Apple is cleaning up the App Store ahead of the iPad’s launch, which they are hoping to promote as a device for families and schools. Large, well-known companies with titillating content like Playboy, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, Maxim, etc. remain because they should provide significant revenue for Apple through magazine subscriptions via the iPad.

Sorry for being blunt … we would suck at being a public relations spin doctor.  

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