Meet Oliver. He’s so cute! He likes to chew things … shoes, bottle caps, books, the coffee table. You name it, he’ll chew it. Now you gotta give Oliver a break … he’s only six months old and like most rugrats, a human vacuum cleaner. If anything is within Oliver’s reach, it goes in the mouth.
Lately, Oliver has this strange fascination with Apple. Seems he’s been nabbing his dad’s iPhone, sticking it in his piehole and gnawing away. Oh you should see it … little Oliver, sucking away on the 3GS … he’s so cute! But rather than discourage Oliver from potentially jacking up a $300 cell phone (how could you! he’s so cute!), daddy lets him have at it.
But daddy is a geek … and like most geeks, has a brilliant mind. No way was daddy going to let his precious Oliver chomp away at the iPhone … it just looks, well, funny (but a good kind of funny … he’s so cute!). So rather than let Oliver eat his plain old iPhone, daddy built the iTeether app, so Oliver could destroy his iPhone in style (but who cares – he’s so cute!).
Ha! You thought we were shitting. NO! Perhaps the most inept and self-absorbed application to date. And here’s what you get with iTeether … count ‘em, four pictures of teethers … frog, man, star and ring … all of which do absolutely nothing, just pictures. Brilliant! Oliver looks much better now teething on the iPhone with a picture of a teether. Yeah not funny looking at all.
Frog, man, star and ring … come on dude, at least give Oliver something interesting to chew on … say like Epic Boobs.
[Special thanks to our bacon-eating, snow-shoveling, wise-ass of the Great White North Tim Peckham for providing today’s “Baby Eat iPhone” cartoon. Be sure to visit Tim’s website for more cartoons and information about his three apps … or check out his work as a cartoonist in the Toronto Sun.]