Pop quiz … name the #5 best-selling application in the entire App Store. MLB.com At Bat? Bejeweled 2? Monopoly? Plants vs. Zombies? … wrong answer – all of them. Actually all these applications are far below the current fifth best-selling application … 69 Positions.
As you can probably tell by the oh so clever name, 69 Positions is a sex positions app … which are all the rage these days on the App Store. 69 Positions is also the 28th top grossing app … ahead of such gems as I Am T-Pain, Red Laser and NBA Live by EA. And looking at the top free apps, both Sex Positions Game and 69 Positions Lite (argh, there it is again – must be the name) are in the top 50.
So Apple is cool with sex positions … fair enough. But this next app really puts us in doubt. Like we don’t even know if it’s real … sort of a made-up fairy-tale … an imaginary fantasy … we’re talking Mythical Sex Positions.
had lost us at “hello” …. “Welcome to the mythical learning center which takes you to the divine world where there is no room for sorrows.” … uh, ok – let’s explore this no room for sorrow divine sex world …
Love Of The Ape Man
Seriously, WTF is all this chocolate-rose, fish in the sea crap? … “This mythical position was practiced by our ancient fathers in which the rose in wrapped towards the chocolate …” Yeah right, have another beer.
LOL … “This mythical method is happening with support of three toes” … get that? … SEX ON THREES TOES! … memo to mythical people – be kind to your toes, mix in a bed!
But wait, there are plenty more suggestions in plain English from this pretend city of sex …
As the devil’s mythical serpent cries with joy as the journey towards the honey comb is very painful. But the bees in the house are excited as the upward pressure eases her effort in lasting the divine honey.
Your rose gains control of your heart so that her petals are striking like a mythical snow on your muscular body. The goosebumbs mad by this petals are so erotic to make mythical simulation which in turn intensifies your hunt for pleasure.
You could experience the joy of real tsunami as your eyes are viewing the tsunamical movements of her sweet apples. The back pressure will ease your effort as the two can play 50-50.
Seriously, if you can figure this shit out … more mythical power to you! But for us, we’ll stick with tried and true REAL positions from the sweet divine world of Gummy Bear Kama-Sutra.