We noticed a strange phenomenon at this year’s WWDC … the annual conference for iPhone application developers. For whatever reason, all of the developers in attendance had little to no hair … pretty much bald as a baby’s butt. Quite a disturbing sight … until it dawned on us why the lack of WWDC hair … developers are pulling their hair out in frustration over Apple’s idiotic and inconsistent (remember these two words for later) application approval policies!
No hair = Apple’s fault. Makes total sense – just take a look at Apple’s latest moronic ruling.
Mirror App [iTunes Free] is one of the 27 million mirror applications available for the iPhone 4. The developers, DLP Mobile, recently submitted an update to Apple for approval which was immediately rejected. Why? … because per Apple’s email to DLP Mobile …
The screenshots provided contain content that is objectionable for certain age groups. This is in violation of Section 3.3.18 … that states:
"Applications may be rejected if they contain content … that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable, for example, materials that may be considered obscene, pornographic, or defamatory."
The application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (no objectionable material) since these images are visible on the App Store by all users … The inappropriate images have been attached for your reference.
Excellent … let’s check out the obscene, pornographic screenshots, not suitable for 4-year-olds, Apple attached for our reference …
HUH?!? The girl in the photos is former America’s Next Top Model contestant Mila Bouzinova … and if you think for one second her screenshots are inappropriate (what? girl can’t wear a bandeau bikini top?) … you are a complete douchebag. Now the policy does state, “in Apple’s reasonable judgment” … but come on, is some 40-year-old virgin, working in Apple’s app review team, the best judge of overtly sexual content. These are freaking geeks making a judgment call … their dicks get hard when the wind blows … they should be the last people on earth dictating what is too sexual. To them, a SpongeBob chia pet is arousing. Seriously, if you’re getting excited by Mila’s screenshots … seek help, you have serious issues!
Ok, so that was the “idiotic” part of Apple’s ruling … now the “inconsistent” piece. Look at the screenshots below. They all have been approved by Apple and are live in the App Store. Compare these screenshots to the ones 2 inches above. Now tell us which screenshots are really the inappropriate ones for 4-year-olds.
Chin up developers! We realize the game you play with Apple is asinining, maddening, stupid and absurd … but at least Apple approved an app for your woes … Hair Clinic – the app which magically grows your hair back after its been pulled out .