Apple Bans America’s Next Top Model Contestant As Inappropriate – You Be The Judge

mad-man-pulling-hair-out-f We noticed a strange phenomenon at this year’s WWDC … the annual conference for iPhone application developers. For whatever reason, all of the developers in attendance had little to no hair … pretty much bald as a baby’s butt. Quite a disturbing sight … until it dawned on us why the lack of WWDC hair … developers are pulling their hair out in frustration over Apple’s idiotic and inconsistent (remember these two words for later) application approval policies!

No hair = Apple’s fault. Makes total sense – just take a look at Apple’s latest moronic ruling.

Mirror App [iTunes Free] is one of the 27 million mirror applications available for the iPhone 4. The developers, DLP Mobile, recently submitted an update to Apple for approval which was immediately rejected. Why? … because per Apple’s email to DLP Mobile …

The screenshots provided contain content that is objectionable for certain age groups. This is in violation of Section 3.3.18 … that states:

 

"Applications may be rejected if they contain content … that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable, for example, materials that may be considered obscene, pornographic, or defamatory."

 

The application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (no objectionable material) since these images are visible on the App Store by all users  … The inappropriate images have been attached for your reference.

Excellent … let’s check out the obscene, pornographic screenshots, not suitable for 4-year-olds, Apple attached for our reference …

Bouzinova-iPhone-1  Bouzinova-iPhone-2

HUH?!? The girl in the photos is former America’s Next Top Model contestant Mila Bouzinova … and if you think for one second her screenshots are inappropriate (what? girl can’t wear a bandeau bikini top?) … you are a complete douchebag. Now the policy does state, “in Apple’s reasonable judgment” … but come on, is some 40-year-old virgin, working in Apple’s app review team, the best judge of overtly sexual content. These are freaking geeks making a judgment call … their dicks get hard when the wind blows … they should be the last people on earth dictating what is too sexual. To them, a SpongeBob chia pet is arousing. Seriously, if you’re getting excited by Mila’s screenshots … seek help, you have serious issues!

Ok, so that was the “idiotic” part of Apple’s ruling … now the “inconsistent” piece. Look at the screenshots below. They all have been approved by Apple and are live in the App Store. Compare these screenshots to the ones 2 inches above. Now tell us which screenshots are really the inappropriate ones for 4-year-olds.

overtly-iPhone-1  overtly-iPhone-2

overtly-iPhone-3  overtly-iPhone-4

Chin up developers! We realize the game you play with Apple is asinining, maddening, stupid and absurd … but at least Apple approved an app for your woes … Hair Clinic – the app which magically grows your hair back after its been pulled out .

July 23, 2010 | Filed Under News, Utilities 

Comments

  • Although I agree there's nothing “pornographic” about Mila Bouzinova's photos, your story is flawed, based on the examples you provided. All the applications you cite as an example are 17+ rated, so with proper parental controls on, these are not visible to 4 year olds. As I understand Apple's rules, they are fine with sexy images as long as the app is rated appropriately. Subsequent to that, it's up to parents to set their computer's controls correctly. My guess is that this action keeps them out of the courtroom in mostly conservative America. All the developer has to do is resubmit with a higher rating.
    Anyway, in my opinion, Mila's pics are fine, so I get your point.

  • paul … thanks for the visit and clarification! indeed Apple has finally
    released parental controls which turn off preview screenshots … problem
    is, most people have no clue about this level of protection. we interviewed
    27 iPhone carrying people at Starbucks during our lunch break and not
    one was aware of this precaution. but for parents … this is no excuse …
    however, Apple is a legit and reputable company and most people will just
    assume there is not inappropriate screenshots for kids to view. but again –
    not an excuse when it comes to parenting.

  • Hey this is Bryan from DLP Mobile. Because Apple rejected our photos of Mila, we’re out a model and we need a replacement. Please visit http://www.facebook.com/mirrorapp to be a part of our search for the new face of Mirror App!