Just Gimme A Beer

stevebeer We’re beginning to think this whole iPhone thing is way overrated. Think about your life before the iPhone – pretty simple and straightforward. No tip calculator apps – thus no sweating over the exact amount of a gratuity to the penny. No hail a taxi app – just stick out your arm and flag down a cab. No suntan turn over app – just roll over whenever. No split up multiple expenses over a group of people app – you’d just come up with a ballpark figure and be done with it.

But the iPhone has changed all that … and in our opinion … making people more anal, obnoxious and idiotic.

Take for example the age old practice of drinking beer and getting drunk. Pretty easy, right? Step 1 – go to store. Step 2 – buy beer. Step 3 – open beer. Step 4 – drink beer. Repeat steps 3 and 4 until smashed. Simple enough, agreed. But NO … the iPhone has even screwed that up. Enter the latest “jack up your life” app – Beer Efficiency from Inner Four.

BeerEfficon

What is this Beer Efficiency app? Well it’s a bit confusing to us mere mortals since the geeks really geeked it up … but we think we get the gist of it. Through a way too involved mathematical formula, Beer Efficiency calculates the amount of beer you must consume to get intoxicated the quickest and cheapest while consuming the fewest calories.

BeerEffDesc

So like the app says … “This all gets confusing pretty quickly. So we made it simple. Just enter a beer you normally drink and how much of it you drink to reach a state of inebriation. Then enter the available beers and their prices and will determine which beer is best for saving money or watching your calories and will tell you how much of that particular beer you need to drink to reach a state of inebriation.”

BeerEff1   BeerEff2

WTF? This is nuts … when has getting drunk become so freaking complicated, calculated and science-like? Oh yeah, since the introduction of the iPhone … see what we’re saying … way overrated.

geekbeer1 Here’s some beer advice, it’s free and no iPhone required: want Cheap Beer? – drink Lucky Lager or Pabst Blue Ribbon … want Low Calorie beer? – drink a Light beer, they’re all about the same, 100 calories per 12 ounce serving … want Get Drunk Quick and Cheap beer? – drink Mickey’s or Olde English 800. See how simple … why complicate matters with that damn iPhone?

And on a final note, per Beer Efficiency … “The goal of this app is to help you to realize that not all beer has the same alcohol content and that you should be extremely careful not to become intoxicated on one brand of beer when you are used to how another brand affects you” … HUH? Whatever bro … key word = EFFICIENCY … get drunk as quickly and cheaply as possible … blah, blah, blah.

Comments

  • susanbdot

    I think I'll save my 99 cents, and stick with my one pint of Guinness for taste (in more senses than one).

    In my spare time, because I don't have a life, I made a list of the easiest-to-find grammatical & spelling errors in just the grey reproduction of the app's description. I stopped at 8. There are really more, but I was being generous.

  • susanbdot

    I think I'll save my 99 cents, and stick with my one pint of Guinness for taste (in more senses than one).

    In my spare time, because I don't have a life, I made a list of the easiest-to-find grammatical & spelling errors in just the grey reproduction of the app's description. I stopped at 8. There are really more, but I was being generous.

  • susanbdot

    I think I'll save my 99 cents, and stick with my one pint of Guinness for taste (in more senses than one).

    In my spare time, because I don't have a life, I made a list of the easiest-to-find grammatical & spelling errors in just the grey reproduction of the app's description. I stopped at 8. There are really more, but I was being generous.

  • susanbdot

    I think I'll save my 99 cents, and stick with my one pint of Guinness for taste (in more senses than one).

    In my spare time, because I don't have a life, I made a list of the easiest-to-find grammatical & spelling errors in just the grey reproduction of the app's description. I stopped at 8. There are really more, but I was being generous.

  • susanbdot

    I think I'll save my 99 cents, and stick with my one pint of Guinness for taste (in more senses than one).

    In my spare time, because I don't have a life, I made a list of the easiest-to-find grammatical & spelling errors in just the grey reproduction of the app's description. I stopped at 8. There are really more, but I was being generous.

  • susanbdot

    I think I'll save my 99 cents, and stick with my one pint of Guinness for taste (in more senses than one).

    In my spare time, because I don't have a life, I made a list of the easiest-to-find grammatical & spelling errors in just the grey reproduction of the app's description. I stopped at 8. There are really more, but I was being generous.

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?

  • LOL … But think about it – is Guinness really the most efficient way
    to get hammered? Oh the STRESS!

    Yeah … We decided to let the grammer slide as this app has enough problems 😉

  • This is just a rip off my my app: Booze Buddy that I released a couple of months ago.

    http://mealable.com/booze-buddy.html

    And my app is better looking!

  • Appy_Entertainment

    Can they offer a formula for the least expensive ammunition to blow my brains out?